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(Some Guy)   Enter The Late Show's Top Ten List Contest, This week's topic: Least popular Lord of the Rings novels   ( cbs.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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4831 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2002 at 1:18 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2002-01-09 01:20:58 AM  
Speaking of LotR... I want to download it!!! Anyone have it?
2002-01-09 01:21:09 AM  
My entry:
A Bunch of Happy Midgets Toss Jewelry into a Volcano Because They Do What They're Damn Well Told.
2002-01-09 01:22:40 AM  
Fellowship of the Rink. Tolkien does NHL. Sam's the waterboy, Gandalf's the cranky (yet lovable) coach. Merry and Pippin just hang around the locker room.
2002-01-09 01:23:16 AM  
I'm down for The Bobbits and The Ford With The Dings. Neither very good or original but hey, I'm sleep deprived.
2002-01-09 01:24:38 AM  
Twin Towers. Nuff said.
2002-01-09 01:25:59 AM  
Buttafuoco, Buttafuoco, Buttafuoco.
2002-01-09 01:26:03 AM  
Doesn't everyone know that Dave Letterman's show sucks horribly, and that Conan has taken over the kingdom of Latenight?
2002-01-09 01:26:15 AM  
I tried "Dildo lives in a cave". Think it'll win??
2002-01-09 01:26:49 AM  
Yellowshiat in the Sink
2002-01-09 01:27:53 AM  
Jon Stewart owns latenight...
2002-01-09 01:33:59 AM  
The Fellowship Takes a Warm Bath Together

The image alone gives me nightmares
2002-01-09 01:34:45 AM  
Sam, Frodo, and Yin the adopted Korean child: The Later Years
2002-01-09 01:35:54 AM  
1. U. Nerd- Conan Rocks! (but I still like Letterman more than ass-chin man)

2. This is one of the stupidest top ten lists I've ever seen. Perhaps if it was "rejected Lord of the Rings titles" it might approach 'funny'. As it stand - no.

Ps. My Vote goes for "Fellowship of the Ring".
2002-01-09 01:38:58 AM  
The Ring Around The Collar!

"Copy written, so don't copy me!" -Missy Elliott
2002-01-09 01:41:09 AM  
The Top 10 list is modern society's answer to the haiku. It's said that to be a haiku master, one must only write one true haiku. The same is true of the Top 10 list.

My best work:

The eighth rejected rule of Fight Club is: If you're in the right-hand lane, you have to turn right. *crowd laughs*

That would make it the "Right-turn-only Club." *Paul does rimshot, crowd does not laugh*
2002-01-09 02:01:59 AM  
Easy. The LOTR novel that features Legolas less.

He's noble, and doesn't fall under the dark spell of the ring.
That's why I like him.
2002-01-09 02:09:50 AM  
A Psychoanalysis of the Dark Lord

Be nice. That one's mine.
2002-01-09 02:39:21 AM  
Freud Meets the Fellowship: Why Frodo Likes Hairy Women
2002-01-09 03:03:20 AM  
I went for the SNL "tribute": The Ambiguously Gay Frodo.
2002-01-09 03:04:45 AM  
my entry:
Frodo's journ... WAIT, the f*cking movie just ended?
Oh I get it, its a trilogy!
2002-01-09 03:11:18 AM  
I'm sure many did it before me... but my entry was:
"Uma, Frodo. Frodo, Uma"
2002-01-09 04:00:57 AM  
Gandalf Does Gondor
2002-01-09 04:13:37 AM  
i hate both LOTR and Letterman
Fellowship Of The Bling Bling anybody?
2002-01-09 04:23:28 AM  
Tidy Bowl: Lord of the Toilet Ring
The Clashing Swords of Sigfried and Roy
Chaproneship of the King...of Pop
2002-01-09 04:28:21 AM  
here's mine:

"Hobbits and Hallucinogens: The Middle-Earth Drug Crisis."
2002-01-09 04:33:05 AM  
Frodo Cleans His Hobbit Hole
2002-01-09 04:33:56 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

Lord of the Rings II: Electric Boogaloo
2002-01-09 05:08:50 AM  
okay, somebody has got to find me a better pop up stopper!
i just sullied my chances by clicking the submit thing five times before realizing it was TRYING to pop up and say "okay, good job", but pop-up stopper was killing it each time
and i find it really annoying when i'm masturbating or eating or both with one hand, and i can't open up a new window without putting down what i'm doing, and holding down control while i click...
i wonder when pop ups and advertisements on the internet will be made illegal. i wonder if it will be when we all are sporting computers that are so powerful they theoretically could count all the atoms in a supernova in a billionth of a second, but can't because half the CPU power is spent finding new ways to throw 3-d hypnotron cyber porn advertisements at you, and the other 50% is locked into a complex AI that determines if it's a ad or not and then closes it and the google of other ads to replace it.

and mine was "The Bobbit, or, how John Wayne lost his 'precious'"
2002-01-09 05:32:02 AM  
I love Letterman and think Conan needs Andy back. Nyah.
2002-01-09 08:22:15 AM  
2002-01-09 08:49:39 AM  
The only one I can think of is prolly too mean to be put on: Thomas Junta, Lord of the Rink
2002-01-09 09:13:49 AM  
Only funny if you've read the books:
Lord of the Rings: The complete songbook

Those had to have been the most annoying part of the books. They probably would be short stories without them.
2002-01-09 09:43:05 AM  
Bonobo62: how about "Galadriel does Gondor".

Capt_Sheridan: sad to say, I just skip over the songs when reading the books. It does save sooooooooo much reading time. Though they often contain useful Middle Earth history nuggets for the truly devoted.
2002-01-09 09:46:17 AM  
Similar to Capt_Sherian's...

The One Where They Sing Songs Every Other Page ... Oh wait, that's all of them...
2002-01-09 09:48:21 AM  
No Such Agency:Though they often contain useful Middle Earth history nuggets for the truly devoted.

You meant those who truly have no life.
2002-01-09 09:55:50 AM  

Frodo Baggins and Harry Potter - The Secret of the Shire
by J.K.R.R. Tolkien-Rowling
2002-01-09 10:06:49 AM  
[image from alliance.zap2it.com too old to be available]

Little Lord Fauntleroy, Lord of the Manor
2002-01-09 10:25:10 AM  
2002-01-09 10:26:30 AM  
Let's try that again (unfetchable image my butt):

[image from members.aol.com too old to be available]
2002-01-09 10:36:55 AM  
All Your Ring Are Belong To Us
The Sopranos/LOTR crossover: Fellowship Of The Bada-Bing
and of course Dude, Where's My Ring?
2002-01-09 11:14:01 AM  
Kupek_ --genius!!!

I entered "Middle Earth on $12 a day" and "Frodo has two mommies."

I really wanted to think of one about Sam and Frodo's borderline love story, but nothing came to mind.
2002-01-09 11:50:53 AM  
Looking back I wonder.....
Burning Ring of Fire; the gonorrea years
2002-01-09 11:59:33 AM  
How about Osama and the Two Towers?
2002-01-09 12:24:44 PM  
Speaking of LotR songs...

"He [Frito] hummed and then sang an ancient dwarf-song he had learned from the knee of his Uncle Dildo, a song whose maker had lived before the dawn of Lower Middle Earth. It began:

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho,

It's off to work we go,

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, heigh-ho, heigh-heigh,

Heigh-ho, heigh-ho . . .

"Good! Good!" yipped Moxie. "Yes, good! Especially the 'heigh-ho' part," added Pepsi. "And what are you be callin' that?" asked Spam, who knew few songs. "I call it 'Heigh-ho,'" said Frito. But he was not cheered by it..."

Bored of the Rings, Harvard Lampoon
2002-01-09 12:33:17 PM  
Lord of the Rings IV: Enter Hasselhoff
2002-01-09 12:35:50 PM  
The 'Simmer'illion: Slow cooking for Hobbits
2002-01-09 01:53:04 PM  
#10 Two words: Bin Lobbit
2002-01-09 01:59:47 PM  
Meursault- omg- that's hillarious, I almost choked on my lunch laughing when I read that!
2002-01-09 02:32:39 PM  
1) The Seven Hobbits of Highly Successful Dark Lords
2) Beauty Secrets of the Orcs
2) Sillystringmarillion
3) Fellowship of the Bellybutton Ring
4) The Bobbit
5) Everything I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Middle Earth
6) The Two Towers are Missing
7) Men are From Enedwaith - Hobbits are from Shire
8) The Voyage of Pain: Gandalf's Gout
9) Smaug Soup for the Damned Soul
10) Oprah & Rosie: The Cracks of Doom
2002-01-09 04:49:35 PM  
Lord of the Rings Episode 2: Attack of the Clones.

The obvious ones are the first to get picked.
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