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(Reuters)   "We had a stab wound to the arm from a kid who was trying to kill a cicada on the arm of another child but unfortunately he was using a knife," Baker added   ( reuters.com) divider line
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6338 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2004 at 4:33 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

72 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-05-14 03:06:16 PM  
I don't care if the damn things are harlmess, they're still scary as hell.

*not* looking forward to the time they show up.
2004-05-14 03:16:45 PM  
All parents can do is try and supervise their children and remind them that that the cicadas are harmless, Baker advised.

Great advice. Too bad they made it completely useless by putting it next to the close-up of the cicada's ugly head.

"There's a spider on your head."
2004-05-14 03:49:05 PM  
Unfortunate, indeed.
2004-05-14 04:34:41 PM  
Cicadas make for great pellet gun targets.
2004-05-14 04:35:54 PM  
oh. wise guy, eh? nyuck nyuck nyuck.

2004-05-14 04:37:33 PM  
"First there was the girl who fell off her bike fleeing a flying cicada. Then a boy trying to swat a cicada out of the air with a baseball bat instead hit his friend in the nose. The final straw came when another child hurt his hand trying to squish a cicada under a car's tires."
long live the stooges!!
2004-05-14 04:37:47 PM  
I, for one, welcome our.... *knocks self out running from giant cicada*
2004-05-14 04:38:07 PM  
he should have used a skateboard
2004-05-14 04:38:27 PM  
"cicadas can be a safety hazard to children"

Just the stupid ones.
2004-05-14 04:39:07 PM  
Silly rabbit, knives are for bees, everyone knows that
2004-05-14 04:39:25 PM  
"They climb out of their underground homes en masse after 17 years of slow development with only one goal in mind -- finding a mate."

-just like farkers when the power goes out.
2004-05-14 04:39:36 PM  
The problem's not the cicadas, it's stupid, stupid kids.
2004-05-14 04:41:42 PM  
This is what happens when we take away all the "dangerous" games from our kids and give them nice safe games to play. They're less resilliant and more likely to hurt themselves doing stupid things since they don't have to keep on their toes during play time. I say bring back toys with choking hazards and small breakable metal parts - we need to toughen up our kids so they don't run into brick walls trying to avoid bugs.

/goes home to play crossfire and lawn darts
2004-05-14 04:41:48 PM  
I'm sorry, but all these kids seem retarded to me... I mean one kid hit his head on a brick wall running away?
It reminds me of those "caution slow children" signs
2004-05-14 04:41:50 PM  
I am farkin' terrified of bugs. This is unimaginably creepy to me. I'd rather have farkin' pythons come crawling out of the trees.
2004-05-14 04:42:10 PM  
Darwin would be so proud.
2004-05-14 04:42:32 PM  
"What did you do? Light your face on fire and try to put it out with an ice pick?"

2004-05-14 04:43:46 PM  
LOL Pinche...funniest thing I've seen on a thread in a long time!
2004-05-14 04:44:30 PM  
When I was a kid and the cicadas came out I beat them with a baseball against a tree. Sometimes I would rip off their torso and they would live for a few days like that!
I was in fourth grade and no one got hurt but me when karma bites me back for "THE GREAT OHIO CICADA HOULOCAUST"
2004-05-14 04:45:03 PM  
Do children's hospital have a "stupid ward" for these kids to go to? Kids accidentally stabbing/batting each other/falling off bikes is pretty normal stuff, but being afraid of insects... must be NeoCon children!
2004-05-14 04:47:55 PM  
Curtousey of http://www.wired.com.

Warning: Cicadas can be dangerous to children's health. Dr. Ray Baker of Cincinnati Children's Hospital is advising parents to be on the lookout as billions of the clumsy critters emerge from their subterranean homes this summer. Why? Several kids have fallen off their bikes fleeing from the harmless bugs. One child slammed into a brick wall while he was running away. "We had a stab wound to the arm from a kid who was trying to kill a cicada on the arm of another child but unfortunately he was using a knife," Baker said. "Another kid tried to kick one under a lawn mower and cut his foot, and we saw a crush injury to the hand when a kid tried to put a cicada under the wheels of a moving car." Another boy who tried to whack a cicada with a baseball bat missed and hit his buddy in the nose. As FDR said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
-- Debra Jones
2004-05-14 04:48:17 PM  
At least the kid didn't have a gun...
2004-05-14 04:48:55 PM  
And I meant courtesy...not curtousey, or curtooowsy, or coitezy.
2004-05-14 04:49:44 PM  
Mmmmmmm...Cicadas. Now that's some good eatin'. Well not really. They are meaty but don't taste very good. Or so I'm told...
2004-05-14 04:50:26 PM  
One of these damn things flew at my head today at my bus stop, and I nearly stepped into traffic trying to avoid it. Send me to the stupid ward, but it was coming right for my forehead, and was the size of a damn zeppelin, and I panicked.

Yes, I am blonde - why do you ask?
2004-05-14 04:50:50 PM  
And maybe I should read the article to determine if I'm posting the exact same thing. I suck.
2004-05-14 04:52:16 PM  
Dunno about you, when I was kid; cicadas were scary because they were huge and many and annoying with the noise they made. They hurt too when they flew into you. And they amazingly do fly around blindly.

I can't blame the children for doing that, those were are scary S.O.B. flying thingys when you're a kid. And you might think I'm paranoid, but these insects are smart and prey on your fear. I remember when I was younger and went out to throw a bag of garbage, less than a minute later 3 of them landed on the staircase and started guarding the door so I was trapped outside for awhile until I got the hose. Which is a bad thing considering most flying insects attack head on or fly towards whatever is annoying them (like water from a hose).
2004-05-14 04:52:39 PM  
It's okay helix400, I'm sure you were just trying to avoid a cicada while you were posting. :)
2004-05-14 04:53:02 PM  
"Chi-Chian, may I have this dance?"
2004-05-14 04:54:17 PM  
Schwhat - You aren't paranoid. They really are out to get you.
2004-05-14 04:55:09 PM  
Tennis and badmitten rackets were so much more useful at this when I was a kid. Sproingggg, splat.

Ranked up there with crab apple slingin' in the fall.
2004-05-14 04:58:13 PM  
"cicadas can be a safety hazard to children"

Just the stupid ones.

Have you ever met a smart cicada?
2004-05-14 04:58:37 PM  
I actualy kinda like the sounds they make--that constent sci-fi hummmm like the giant ants in "THEM".
2004-05-14 04:58:48 PM  
Darwin is just waiting for the day that a cicadas lands on this knife-wielding phycho's face.
2004-05-14 04:59:10 PM  
[image from wwwi.reuters.com too old to be available]
Ain't he cute?
2004-05-14 04:59:11 PM  
I'd think lawn darts would be a useful weapon of choice for this application.
2004-05-14 05:03:35 PM  
Speakin' of Racquets: Get thee one of these goodies before it's too late. Cheap as hell and let me tell you, they work
Great! never done anything big as a cicada but i'm sure
it'll blow a cicada circuit or two...

2004-05-14 05:03:43 PM  
"[...]we saw a crush injury to the hand when a kid tried to put a cicada under the wheels of a moving car."

Now that's instant karma.
2004-05-14 05:05:14 PM  
WTF ??!!

This is an example of the "dumbing down" syndrome at work..
God Help Us !!!

2004-05-14 05:06:14 PM  

Damn you! That was horrible!

/finding a happy place
2004-05-14 05:07:37 PM  
I would stab my friend if Jon Secada was on his arm.

Or mine.
2004-05-14 05:09:37 PM  
Another kid tried to kick one under a lawn mower and cut his foot

Yesterday I would have said it is impossible to be this dumb.
2004-05-14 05:11:25 PM  
This is why I'm not having kids. Right after they stop pissing, crapping and puking on themselves they go out and try to one up that shiat cuz they have no damn sense. I was a kid too and after a broken fibia/tibia, wrist, thumb, few fingers, and a thousand stitches and countless sprains/strains/torn muscles i know what i'm talking about. Kids are dumb.
2004-05-14 05:11:32 PM  
My first approved article!
But boo, since I plagiarized the article for the title rather than be creative.

/will never be happy
2004-05-14 05:12:20 PM  
[image from electrontrap.org too old to be available]

Did someone say giant bugs?
2004-05-14 05:15:23 PM  
In other news, kids are farking sadistic.
2004-05-14 05:15:44 PM  
cicadas. feh. i'd take cicadas in my tent when i'm camping over a scorpion any day. i actually used to like their chirping. my site was recently googled for "kill the f*cking cicadas" -- i guess i never felt the hate.
2004-05-14 05:16:51 PM  
[image from beavis-butthead.ru too old to be available]

better than these guys' method
2004-05-14 05:18:19 PM  
"They do freak people out. They are big. They are bigger than most other flying things..."

These are obviously some kind of monster bugs, bigger than birds or airplanes. I'd be fleeing too.
2004-05-14 05:18:22 PM  
He used a knife?

Lets ban knives immediately.

Oh yeah....a 3 day waiting period to purchase a knife.

and a farki'n I.Q. test prior to approval.
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