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(Think Progress)   At her confirmation hearing, Secretary of Education nominee Betsy DeVos said we need guns in school to protect us from grizzly bears. Stephen Colbert nods in approval   (thinkprogress.org) divider line
    More: Stupid, Firearm, Education, Firearms, Gun, United States Senate, Donald Trump, Gun politics, Cannon  
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1810 clicks; posted to Politics » on 18 Jan 2017 at 2:30 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2017-01-18 12:12:40 AM  
54 votes:
She actually has a point. I mean, many schools have come a long way regarding defending themselves against armed intruders -- metal detectors, for example, are increasingly commonplace. But most grizzly bears would be able to pass through a metal detector without setting off any alarms, because their normal weaponry (teeth, claws) are not metallic in nature. So the school's defensive systems could be working entirely within normal parameters and a grizzly could still end up inside the school itself. This isn't even even taking into consideration any possible collaboration between the grizzly and students themselves, who might wish harm upon other students and form some sort of pact with the bear (one possible scenario being leaving a normally locked door propped for the bear's easy access). So what happens if it's lunchtime and such a grizzly breach occurs? One bear in a crowded cafeteria could inflict incalculable harm. I'm also fairly certain that most SWAT and other rapid-response units who would arrive as first responders do not regularly train in counter-grizzly tactics, which could lead to catastrophic delays in their actual entry of the building as they plan and strategize. Does anyone need to be reminded of what happened at Columbine when such delays took place? Some might argue that the fact that no such attack has ever happened is evidence that it never well, but "head in sand" is not a plan. Before 9-11, passenger planes were not viewed as weapons. Then everything changed. Do we really want to be playing catch up with this threat?
 
2017-01-18 12:58:12 AM  
27 votes:
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-01-18 2:36:21 AM  
20 votes:

Pocket Ninja: She actually has a point. I mean, many schools have come a long way regarding defending themselves against armed intruders -- metal detectors, for example, are increasingly commonplace. But most grizzly bears would be able to pass through a metal detector without setting off any alarms, because their normal weaponry (teeth, claws) are not metallic in nature. So the school's defensive systems could be working entirely within normal parameters and a grizzly could still end up inside the school itself. This isn't even even taking into consideration any possible collaboration between the grizzly and students themselves, who might wish harm upon other students and form some sort of pact with the bear (one possible scenario being leaving a normally locked door propped for the bear's easy access). So what happens if it's lunchtime and such a grizzly breach occurs? One bear in a crowded cafeteria could inflict incalculable harm. I'm also fairly certain that most SWAT and other rapid-response units who would arrive as first responders do not regularly train in counter-grizzly tactics, which could lead to catastrophic delays in their actual entry of the building as they plan and strategize. Does anyone need to be reminded of what happened at Columbine when such delays took place? Some might argue that the fact that no such attack has ever happened is evidence that it never well, but "head in sand" is not a plan. Before 9-11, passenger planes were not viewed as weapons. Then everything changed. Do we really want to be playing catch up with this threat?


My school made people sign in at the entrance.  That system was 100% bearproof: they can't sign anything with those big furry paws.
 
2017-01-18 2:01:28 AM  
18 votes:

culebra: She is so far out of her depth it's unbelievable


Hey! Ho! Whoa! Slow down there!!  Ben Carson is coming.  You don't want to use all your unbelievables just yet.
 
2017-01-18 12:32:18 AM  
11 votes:
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2017-01-18 2:55:19 AM  
10 votes:

Satanic_Hamster: And biatch?  You're a farking idiot if you think a handgun will do anything but piss a grizzly off.


Another uninformed, know nothing, anti-gun lib. Of course there are hand guns which can take out a grizzly.

thefirearmblog.comView Full Size


Crawl back in your hole, Bernie-bro. Bear free zones DO NOT WORK! Since when did bears obey the law?
 
2017-01-18 2:43:18 AM  
9 votes:
What a "Grizzly Bear" bearing bare bear arms may look like.
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img.fark.netView Full Size

//pic meme slashie for the win!
 
2017-01-18 12:10:15 AM  
9 votes:
I know Jesus freaks like DeVos get paranoid about teh gheys, but hairy heavy homosexuals aren't the first dangers I associate with a day at school.

i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size


/yeah I know he was straight.
 
2017-01-18 12:06:41 AM  
9 votes:
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2017-01-17 11:50:14 PM  
9 votes:
So that teachin' lady tells me the only 3 letters I need are U, S, and A.
 
2017-01-18 12:24:25 AM  
7 votes:

Pocket Ninja: She actually has a point. I mean, many schools have come a long way regarding defending themselves against armed intruders -- metal detectors, for example, are increasingly commonplace. But most grizzly bears would be able to pass through a metal detector without setting off any alarms, because their normal weaponry (teeth, claws) are not metallic in nature. So the school's defensive systems could be working entirely within normal parameters and a grizzly could still end up inside the school itself. This isn't even even taking into consideration any possible collaboration between the grizzly and students themselves, who might wish harm upon other students and form some sort of pact with the bear (one possible scenario being leaving a normally locked door propped for the bear's easy access). So what happens if it's lunchtime and such a grizzly breach occurs? One bear in a crowded cafeteria could inflict incalculable harm. I'm also fairly certain that most SWAT and other rapid-response units who would arrive as first responders do not regularly train in counter-grizzly tactics, which could lead to catastrophic delays in their actual entry of the building as they plan and strategize. Does anyone need to be reminded of what happened at Columbine when such delays took place? Some might argue that the fact that no such attack has ever happened is evidence that it never well, but "head in sand" is not a plan. Before 9-11, passenger planes were not viewed as weapons. Then everything changed. Do we really want to be playing catch up with this threat?


If they would only try to talk with the bear and find out what is really troubling the bear. Won't somebody please think of the bears?
 
2017-01-18 2:59:19 AM  
5 votes:
I liked Devos back when they wore funny hats and sang about whips.
 
2017-01-18 2:53:37 AM  
5 votes:

Alphax: Has she ever seen a bear that wasn't in a zoo or circus?  I have not.


To be fair, she's never seen the inside of a public school either.
 
2017-01-18 12:06:05 AM  
5 votes:
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2017-01-17 11:43:06 PM  
5 votes:
On the list of things that should disqualify her from being Education Secretary this wouldn't even make it onto the first page.
 
2017-01-18 3:02:28 AM  
4 votes:
As an Alaskan I don't know whether to laugh, or facepalm.

Both, then.  Hahammmph.
 
2017-01-18 1:46:58 AM  
4 votes:
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2017-01-18 12:23:11 AM  
4 votes:

ralphjr: [img.fark.net image 300x225]


Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.
 
2017-01-18 12:09:13 AM  
4 votes:
She didn't seriously say that, did she?

(RTFA)

She DID!?!

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2017-01-18 2:46:09 AM  
3 votes:
What, in case the bears are who we THOUGHT they were?

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2017-01-18 7:21:54 AM  
2 votes:
Two things we don't have in Canada:

1.  School-shooting epidemic.
2.  Students attacked by bears.

Two things we do have in Canada:

1.  Gun control
2.  Bears.
 
2017-01-18 6:31:45 AM  
2 votes:
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2017-01-18 1:29:39 AM  
2 votes:
Betsy, how can I tell that you were raised up in Yankeeland?

Everyone knows that the best protection against bears isn't guns, but being charitable and cautious, and carrying a couple of jugs of honeydew vine water...


God's Own Drunk (Live) (1978 Version)
Youtube MBoQkq-6e2w


/NSFW lyrics
 
2017-01-17 11:47:32 PM  
2 votes:
Who was it back in the day that countered the "large magazines + semi automatic assault rifle aren't useful for anything more than killing lots of humans" argument with "are you crazy? Have you ever tried hunting feral hogs without one?!"

Basically, if you can find one semi legit reason for a gun (you may have to squint),  you've just destroyed any argument against you.
 
2017-01-18 6:01:47 PM  
1 vote:

extroverted_suicide: Soup4Bonnie: Joseph Lieberman, the "Democratic" nominee for vice president in 2000, introduced DeVos on Tuesday and vouched for her leadership, arguing that her status as an outsider is an asset.

99.99% of the time, I'm fundamentally against anti-semitism.  The other .01% of the time, this motherfarker has just said or done something to remind me he exists.


I wonder what Lieberman would think if Israeli wingnuts decided to appoint an outspoken Catholic, I don't know, say Rick Santorum, as prime minister.  You know, to bring that outsider's perspective.
 
2017-01-18 2:17:12 PM  
1 vote:

Ambivalence: I did once open the door to go to school and found a giant moose

images4.fanpop.comView Full Size

 
2017-01-18 9:52:54 AM  
1 vote:
DeVos's testimony was so surprisingly appalling I had to laugh. Guns in schools because of grizzly bears. Completely unaware of critical issues in education. And, of course, a complete lack of shame or even embarrassment for her ludicrous deficiencies.

Guns in schools  because of grizzly bears. I'd be tempted to say that's the stupidest thing I'd ever heard in the political sphere but there's the beloved memory of the pyramids use as grain storage.

The implications of the grizzly bear issue aren't completely obvious. These bears out there have lost their fear of masses of people., Worse, they can work complicated mechanical devices previously out of their reach. Like door knobs. Someone out in Wyoming is breeding super-grizzly bears and training them. And worse. The adults in Wyoming have abandoned their responsibilities to the children in their care.
 
2017-01-18 8:11:29 AM  
1 vote:

Serious Black: ralphjr: [img.fark.net image 300x225]

Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.


I'll DM you my venmo...
 
2017-01-18 7:28:36 AM  
1 vote:

KWess: Two things we don't have in Canada:

1.  School-shooting epidemic.
2.  Students attacked by bears.

Two things we do have in Canada:

1.  Gun control
2.  Bears.


Another thing you don't have in Canada: Donald Trump.
 
2017-01-18 6:55:48 AM  
1 vote:

Jesus Farking Christ: I gotta say, as excuses go, that would be awesome.


Yah, Mom made me wait until the moose had left and go to school.  I was just late.
 
2017-01-18 6:40:50 AM  
1 vote:

Ambivalence: WTF?  I grew up in farking Alaska and we didn't worry about grizzly bears laying siege to schools because it NEVER Happens. You see a bear, you go inside until it goes away.

I did once open the door to go to school and found a giant moose rear end 3 feet from my front door.  The moose swung it's enormous head and looked right at me, so I did what any reasonable kid would do:  I slammed the door, locked it, called my mom crying "I can't go to school there's a moose in the front yard".

Man, that was back in the day.  Elementary school kids were expected to get up and walk a half mile on top of frozen snow berms in below zero weather to school by themselves.  none of this snowflake shiat.


I gotta say, as excuses go, that would be awesome.
 
2017-01-18 1:00:55 AM  
1 vote:
Forget about the zombie apocalpse! It's the Bearmageddon http://bearmageddon.com/

bearmageddon.comView Full Size
 
2017-01-18 12:17:58 AM  
1 vote:
How about .50 cals on the rooftops?
 
2017-01-18 12:04:26 AM  
1 vote:

fusillade762: On the list of things that should disqualify her from being Education Secretary this wouldn't even make it onto the first page.


Page? Don't you mean Volume?
 
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