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(HamNCheez)   Full tank of gas: $30. Speeding ticket: $120. Writing smartass letter to the police and having ticket voided? Priceless   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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181979 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 May 2004 at 6:49 AM (18 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

193 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-05-05 9:19:09 PM  
That is a work of art.
2004-05-05 9:26:37 PM  
Feh. I know a chick who gets out of speeding tickets all the time by giving blowjobs. She has to be neither creative nor witty. And it still works.
2004-05-05 9:28:11 PM  
I agree with EMP.
2004-05-05 9:28:40 PM  
I agree with EMP. That is a work of art.
2004-05-05 9:30:32 PM  
Again, I also agree with EMP.
2004-05-05 9:39:32 PM  
2004-05-05 9:41:02 PM  
Great letter. And awesome how he idly makes his case while having a good time about it.
2004-05-05 9:50:49 PM  
OK, I seem to be losing. Maybe I just like the thought of a good hummer.
2004-05-05 10:07:15 PM  
What, no Flux Capacitor option package on the Nissan Bluebird SSS? I suppose there's no Mr. Fusion power option or a hover-conversion package either. What a POS.

Wake me when some automaker markets the Time Train.

/Don't need money, don't need fame
2004-05-05 10:11:16 PM  
Two cup holders!

2004-05-05 10:15:25 PM  
Gawd, you guys are sycophants.
2004-05-05 10:19:23 PM  

Feh. I know a chick who gets out of speeding tickets all the time by giving blowjobs. She has to be neither creative nor witty. And it still works.

heh. I had to check and see if you were in NYC. I know a transformer that does the same thing all the time. S/he gets pulled over for drunken driving - bj. Speeding - bj. The list goes on and on. And I thought all our cops were macho type guys. It just blew me away. (pun intended)
2004-05-05 11:27:20 PM  

Behold! For I have three cup holders!!
2004-05-05 11:49:35 PM  
Beautiful. That just went into my favorites
2004-05-05 11:54:48 PM  
I once wrote a letter pleading insanity to a parking violation. It didn't work. They did reduce it by 1/2 though.
2004-05-06 12:11:05 AM  
Feh. "surfcontrol" blows.
2004-05-06 1:54:35 AM  
ahhhh... last month's news at it's finest
2004-05-06 2:17:46 AM  
If this was the US, they would have charged him for the suggested offenses he listed.
2004-05-06 6:55:59 AM  
Whoever he is, I wanna marry this guy:D
2004-05-06 6:56:20 AM  
this guy's done a good job, but he still seems like the type of person i'd want to punch in the mouth after about five seconds of knowing him.
2004-05-06 6:59:37 AM  
Classic. Thank you clever speeder. That made my morning.
2004-05-06 7:00:36 AM  
"I expect you will want to apprehend me fairly shortly now that we've established that I may have committed the following offences: ... -Evading the law using an automated number plate changing mechanism."

2004-05-06 7:02:26 AM  
Simply wonderful. Made my day.
2004-05-06 7:03:13 AM  
Nice job!

But this guy is really annoying.

2004-05-06 7:03:33 AM  
Too bad the cop who replied couldn't have hinted that he had to get a new keyboard after spewing coffee all over the last one when reading the letter.

oh well...

such is life.
2004-05-06 7:04:28 AM  
I encourage anyone who didn't read the full thing to do so. The man's writing style is so thick with irony and sarcasm I think I need some Windex

2004-05-06 7:07:22 AM  
The guy seems to be an asshole.
Too bad he can't get a ticket for that.
2004-05-06 7:08:04 AM  
The guys at the police station probably had a good laugh too. The officer who wrote the citation will have a hard time living this one down.

Icing on the cake: The ticket has his occupation listed as "Accountant." Every accountant I know is extremely boring - this guy breaks the mold.
2004-05-06 7:10:13 AM  
Anyone noticed that he had till 26-1-2004 to take care of the ticket. Thats another 19 months, so why the rush?
2004-05-06 7:13:22 AM  

Hopefully you're just kidding. Or, maybe you don't know that the entire worls, except for the US, writes the date with the day first, then the month, then year.
2004-05-06 7:13:26 AM  
I particularly like the bit at the end about needing the $120 for modifications to his car to make it more competitive in the street drags.

10 mph over the limit in a non residential area doesn't seem worth stopping a car for.
2004-05-06 7:14:23 AM  
If ever police brutality could be justified it would be now. Smug little sunnavabiatch needs a baytin'
2004-05-06 7:14:36 AM  
Of course, if this were in the States, the cops would have a massive hard-on for this guy for the rest of his life. He wouldn't be able to leave his house without getting nailed/set up/entrapped for something.
2004-05-06 7:16:07 AM  
16km/h over the speed limit? WTF is that country
2004-05-06 7:19:44 AM  
There are a couple of officers around here that, if you are nice, routinely do this on tickets so if you are smart and catch it you'll get the same deal as this guy. Mind you this is when in ther're in groups and HAVE to give you a ticket so they don't look soft.

/I thought my Boobies would be better, sorry
2004-05-06 7:21:51 AM  
iriedog:- don't apologise. Bad boobies are better than no boobies at all.
2004-05-06 7:21:52 AM  
Pretty creative.

However, sending a letter like that to the good ol' boys down at the Saint Louis County police station wouldn't do any good.

Worst case, it would result in a near-death beating.

Saint Louis cops are not known for their congenality.
2004-05-06 7:23:06 AM  
that kiwi should have a hero tag...
2004-05-06 7:23:30 AM  
As an aside, I LOVE the Empire Strikes Back in 3 minutes on the front page of that site.
2004-05-06 7:23:49 AM  
hmm my '74 Benz seems to have been jyped on the cupholder thing. All I get is a large flat area between the front seats that was supposedly intended for putting stuff on.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2004-05-06 7:24:05 AM  
NZ adopted "anywhere, anytime" as their policy for speed cameras. There could be a camera hidden anywhere. They want drivers to expect to be ticketed even on the most remote stretches of highway. This policy was adopted following extensive research showing that cameras should be placed where there is an accident problem and they do more harm than good elsewhere.

Translated for Americans, he was doing 70 in a 60 zone on a rural two lane highway.
2004-05-06 7:25:28 AM  
I got pulled over for going approximately 56 in a 45.

Cop asked me "I know you're not in a hurry to go to work, so why the rush?"

Me : "Wasn't paying attention"

Cop : Do you know how fast you were going.

Me : About 56-57 or so.

Cop : What's the speed limit here?

Me : 45.

Cop : Hrm, well, don't do it again. *bails*


Eh, he coulda pulled me over 5 minutes before, since I never noticed him behind me. Our cops have White SUVs now instead of the standard black and white cars.

2004-05-06 7:25:49 AM  
...Maybe someone could post the letter (if SFW)? My company's filter doesn't allow me to go to that site... AARRRGGHHH!
2004-05-06 7:26:18 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

The Bluebird SSS is the Australian version of the Nissan Altima. The newer ones look like big versions of the newer Civics, and the older ones look a lot like Accords. I can understand the cop getting a little confused if he can't read.
2004-05-06 7:30:37 AM  
to anyone can't figure out the country - it's New Zealand (as it quite clearly says in more than one place). 100km/h highway. 16km over the limit. $120 fine. Thats about $65US.

This guy must've scanned it and emailed it off the day he got the letter back, cos I saw this a while back.

/anymore question straight to the ignorant bin
2004-05-06 7:31:34 AM  
Yeah but full tank of gas is about 70e here.
2004-05-06 7:31:50 AM  

I take great offense to your comment on accountants. That's like me saying that all guys who refer to large penises in there names are actually packing a number 2 pencil!
2004-05-06 7:32:53 AM  
I have to say it in a way that only a Kiwi would say it. That was bloody brilliant mate. I got a speeding ticket just north of the area where this guy was born, about this time last year. Damn Speed Cameras !!!!
2004-05-06 7:36:01 AM  
*cough cough* You could just drive the speed limit. Saves money.
2004-05-06 7:37:57 AM  
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