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(   I wasn't speeding, I was testing the accuracy of my speedometer at high speeds   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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13710 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 May 2004 at 8:13 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2004-05-04 09:33:19 AM  
Drove second-born to school this AM as it was chucking down with rain.
Noticed big yellow speed-camera has been v neatly labelled
'Piggy Bank'
{by means of stencilling or that peel-off and stick lettering stuff, rather than just spray paint}
Had to smile...
2004-05-04 09:33:28 AM  
The light was blue, favourite.
2004-05-04 09:41:09 AM  
Officer I only smoke weed so I wont get road-rage
2004-05-04 09:43:22 AM  

don't ever go to europe, then.. one of my favorite things about not-North-America is that people 1) train their pets well enough to be able to 2) bring them into stores and restaurants with them.

that said, your typical american can't even do that with his kids, so I'd rather a "NO KIDS ALLOWED" sigh at Home Depot (and everywhere else).
2004-05-04 09:45:24 AM  
If your dog/cat has a seizure, a capfull of light karo syrup stops them. Don't ask me why, I have no idea but it works better than any medication.
2004-05-04 09:46:01 AM  
I got pulled over by a State Trooper K9-unit doing 78 in a 55. The cop told me, "I have pulled people over for doing less than this. shiat, I have ticketed people for doing less than this. But, for some reason, I am going to let you go."
I was happy I didnt get busted. That would have been one hefty fine.
2004-05-04 09:46:52 AM  
"is there a problem officer?"

"no, i just wanted to take a look at that cute little outfit you got on"

2004-05-04 09:47:34 AM  
I wasn't farking, I was testing the accuracy of my farkometer at high farks.
2004-05-04 09:53:38 AM  
Nuke Laloosh,wats a farkometer?
2004-05-04 09:55:19 AM  
Why is everbudy saying fark here?

If I said fark at home my mom wood wash my mouf out wit sumting dat does nut taste good as I no.
2004-05-04 09:56:09 AM  
I was doing 85 down Pacific Coast Highway late one night and noticed the reflective lettering on the back of a CHP car ahead of me so I started to slowdown. The cop proceeded to slowdown and I slowed more he slowed more until he finally stopped and I went by him at about 10 miles per hour. He then got behind me and pulled me over. I figured as long as he was in front of me he could not pull me over (almost worked). Dude gets out and says I clocked you at 85 and I said 85 now how could you have done that when I never went by you? He then told me that the radar system they used could clock cars from any direction. He was somewhat cool about it and only wrote me up for 65 in a 55.
2004-05-04 09:57:35 AM  
My brother says he was on speed one time so does dat mean he was speeding? I jus hope he didnut get a ticket!
2004-05-04 10:19:03 AM  
I got my first speeding ticket the other day going 80 in a 60 zone (well 130 in a 100km zone). The cops were dicks about it too; had a good guffaw in their cruiser at my expense while I sat sleepily in my car. Supposedly it was a famous speed trap that I should have known about.

Consolation? My car was overloaded and I hit an uphill; otherwise I would have been going much faster ;). (and would have been an extra 100$ out)

ZAZ [TotalFark]
2004-05-04 10:23:17 AM  
I got a warning when I said I was in a rental car and didn't realize I was going 24 over the limit. I was genuinely surprised to hear him say I was driving 79 and that reaction might have saved me a ticket.

Hint for speeders: if it's 3 AM in a rural area and you're not young, drunk, or dangerous, the cops aren't too tough.
2004-05-04 10:26:41 AM  
Police speedometers are calibrated to be extremely accurate. The speedometer in your car is nowhere near as accurate.

Most speedometers nowadays are electrically driven off the car's computer, and unless you've changed your tire size or some other integral part of the power train, they'll usually be within 1 mph of what you'd get clocked at on a properly operated radar gun.

The only reason the police have their speedos calibrated at all is so that they've got a certificate that's admissable in court, and that probably means that they just put the car on a dyno and observed that it was already correct. If you've got a reasonably late-model car, the odds are your speedo is just as accurate.
2004-05-04 10:37:56 AM  

I had something similar happen to me. I was going like 60-70 in a 25. I'm at the bottom of the hill, and I see a cop at the very top of the hill blasting its way towards me with his sirens on. I tried to make it to my house, cuz I was almost there, but he catches up to me, so I pull over and he stops behind me. He screams, "DO YOU KNOW HOW FAST YOU WERE GOING?" And then I was screwed. My little brother had taken my driver's license out of my wallet the night before so he could go out driving late. So he looked up my license over the computer. And my mother made me drive her car that day, and she had a broken brake light. Fortunately for me, the cop only gave me a ticket for speeding. He threatened me, "If you decide to take this to court, I will be forced to tell the judge that you were driving without a license." He knew that I would've gotten off the hook if I took it to court (due to the fact that he must have seen me start speeding from very far away), so he must have been happy that I didn't have my license. So I paid my $65.
2004-05-04 10:43:12 AM  
Either he was lying or abusing police resources.

A ticket (or even a charge) for either of those could be cheaper than points on the license, depending on your insurance status...
2004-05-04 10:49:33 AM  
I got a bs ticket (my first) for going 55 in an invisible school zone in Louisiana while on a job interview last week. Boss Hogg would have been proud of that speed trap.
2004-05-04 10:49:34 AM  
I'm not hooked on Cocaine, I just love how it smells.
2004-05-04 10:49:58 AM  
Rockchild, learn English, farkwit.

- R
2004-05-04 11:10:03 AM  
SSNPguerrilla $65 for going 60-70 in a 25? I paid twice that for 15 over the limit about a year ago.
2004-05-04 11:17:54 AM  
Intentional ebonics is a poor trolling method?

// took trolling 101
2004-05-04 11:19:13 AM  
Another good one from back in the "Gas Crisis", early in the 55 MPH era, early Cruise Control:

"Officer, did you say I was doing 78! Oh my Gosh, my home thermostat must be set at 55!
2004-05-04 11:29:34 AM  
2004-05-04 09:07:52 AM sos

jedikinkoid Yes, and I'm not referring to the bathing suit kind of Speedo. Police speedometers are calibrated to be extremely accurate. The speedometer in your car is nowhere near as accurate.


Not New Orleans Police cars. Some of them are missing rear-view mirrors, taillights, etc. Pull over a New Orleans cop, and I bet you could generate at least (5) tickets apiece for operating unsafe equipment. Not kidding.

How 'bout this:

"I was afraid if I dropped below 55 the bomb would detonate."
2004-05-04 11:33:08 AM  
Two words:

Valentine One.

Two more words for those of you with BMWs:

Stealth One.

/Haven't gotten a ticket in 6 years while my V1 was on.
2004-05-04 11:57:31 AM  
Oh my God, I'm psycic!!!

For some strange reason I was thinking about this exact excuse for speeding this morning, wondering how far I could get with it... :P
2004-05-04 12:13:51 PM  
I actually *was* testing my spedometer accuracy at different speeds tho!

I had my GPS and my spedometer telling me my speed...the car said 160 KPH, the GPS said 155 KPH.
2004-05-04 12:19:16 PM  
Hmmm... Had a friend who got pulled over in Georgia going just insanely fast. The cop comes up to the window, takes her docs, and says, "Nobody drives through Georgia that fast, ma'am." Well, she didn't even hesitate, just popped right back with, "Sherman did." I should probably mention that she had a definite NY accent. Well, that cop's face just tensed up, the jaw clenched tight, and he just kinda threw the docs back in the window and went back to his car. Man, he was pissed, but no ticket or anything. Probably was fighting too hard to keep his temper, and figured it was best just to let her go.
2004-05-04 12:21:49 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

/unavailable for comment
2004-05-04 12:40:27 PM  
Oh, the speeding stories I could tell...

1996 One Lap of America Race. Blew past darkened police car @ 2:00 AM in Nowheresville, Nebraska. At 175+. V-1 goes off, so we lift and coast. Took the officer more than five minutes to catch up. We should have accelerated instead. He comes up to the door and asks, "You boys ever seen the inside of a jail cell?" Ends up costing $130 through the mail. Suckers.

1998: Driving prototype supercharged Corvette C5 to Illinois for a show. Pull up at Ohio/Indiana border on the turnpike to get a toll ticket. Ask attendant how far it is to the other side of Indiana. She says 166 miles (or whatever it is). I say, "Call ahead. Let them know I'll be there in 45 minutes and to have a pizza waiting," and peeled out of the ticket booth with both tires alight, engine roaring.

Coming home from spring break, 1989. Have mom's Ford Taurus's accelerator mashed to the floor, and have for about 20 minutes. Police car ahead pulls out and waves us over. Airplane had spotted us and called it in. Cop takes me back to his car and puts me in the back seat. Cop radios plane for confirmation that he's got the right car. Pilot says, "Yep, that's them. I was looking at them titties (my girlfriend's bikini-clad hogans, by the way) through the sunroof!" Cop looks painfully surprised by the comment, hands me my license, and says, "Slow down, kid."

/last ticket was for 39 in 25--the glory days have apparently passed me by...
2004-05-04 02:07:22 PM  
In British Columbia we had a minister of highways ("Flying Phil" Gaglardi) who always claimed he was "testing the highways" when he got busted for speeding (dozens of times)
2004-05-04 07:43:33 PM  
He knew that I would've gotten off the hook if I took it to court (due to the fact that he must have seen me start speeding from very far away)

How would that get you off the hook?
2004-05-05 03:31:26 AM  
From now on, if any of you get pulled over, tell the cop you don't have any insurance whenever he asks for the insurance. Odds are, he'll probably write you a ticket for no insurance instead of speeding. Just show up to court and show them that you did infact have insurance, you just couldn't find the card.
2004-05-05 03:39:58 AM  
Ah. The 2 best tickets I ever got:

On my FZR600 (sportbike), doing some totally f*cking ridiculous speed - 100+ - in a residential. Smoked by the cop, he pulls out. Dammit. So I shut her down. About 12 blocks later, he catches up and pulls over behind me. "Know how fast you were going?" "Yup." "Care to tell me? My radar wasn't on." "Uh, nope." Result: $50 - Speed Beyond Reason. I framed that sucker.

Preface: I live in South Dakota, where we have 75mph speed limits on the Interstate, and LONG stretches of nothing. 125 in a 75 - coming down a long sweeper, slid out to pass a semi - detector goes batshiat. Smoked the brakes, cop tags me. Told the officer my fiance was very ill, trying to get her home before she was sick in my car. He shakes his head, says "there's no more cops for 100 miles, kid - keep it under 100, ok?" And lets me go.

Ah, the days of youth... :) Now, they'd tag me for 76 in a 75!
2004-05-05 08:30:02 AM  
bomber991 From now on, if any of you get pulled over, tell the cop you don't have any insurance whenever he asks for the insurance. Odds are, he'll probably write you a ticket for no insurance instead of speeding.

Can't do that in MA. Your insurance company is written on your registration, and if you tell the cop your insurance was canceled, he can impound your car, give you a ticket for it, AND give you the speeding ticket too. It's probably best to just avoid the speeding ticket in the first place.
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