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(Bangor Daily News)   It's been thirty years now so please, whoever stole the bodies of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's parents, just put them back in their tombs and there will be no questions asked   (portland.bangordailynews.com) divider line
    More: Weird, Portland, Maine, Zilpha Longfellow, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, granite family tomb, long happy life, old iron gate, Longfellow House, Peleg Wadsworth  
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2191 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2016 at 5:32 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



27 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2016-10-05 1:59:52 AM  
I'm sure they'll get those Longfellows straightened out in no time.
 
2016-10-05 5:40:08 AM  
I'll give you a wad's worth of my long fellow.

If you catch my drift.
 
2016-10-05 5:51:37 AM  

AverageAmericanGuy: I'll give you a wad's worth of my long fellow.

If you catch my drift.


Come again?
 
2016-10-05 6:09:26 AM  
Put them back? But I use them for Halloween decorations!
 
2016-10-05 6:22:38 AM  
Longfellow tried to move back in with his parents, and they bailed.
 
2016-10-05 6:28:25 AM  
I'm a poet and didn't know it.  My feet are Longfellows.
 
2016-10-05 6:29:08 AM  
I guess they said so Longfellow!
 
2016-10-05 6:34:41 AM  
What means to an end does one think they will achieve by stealing the corpses of a famous poet's parents?  Reanimating them so they can  do poetry slams?
 
2016-10-05 6:53:44 AM  

Shirley Ujest: What means to an end does one think they will achieve by stealing the corpses of a famous poet's parents?  Reanimating them so they can  do poetry slams?


Maybe it was a bisexual necrophiliac.
 
2016-10-05 6:54:45 AM  
Return 1 by land.

Or both by sea.
 
2016-10-05 6:55:45 AM  
You can have Mr.  Longfellow.  I ain't done with the Mrs. yet.
 
2016-10-05 7:05:07 AM  

big pig peaches: You can have Mr.  Longfellow.  I ain't done with the Mrs. yet.


OK....
 
2016-10-05 7:14:31 AM  
I was trying to remember if he wrote Walden, but then I remembered that was Henry David Thoreau.  I was going to make a joke about the mother not wanting to do his laundry anymore, or cook for him, while he wrote about how rugged he is.  I confused them, because both authors are referenced in Fallout 4.
 
2016-10-05 7:22:50 AM  
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2016-10-05 7:42:58 AM  

All Latest: Put them back? But I use them for Halloween decorations!


And I'm on the list after that. We're doing "The Merchant of Venice" in marionette theater.
 
2016-10-05 8:49:16 AM  
Thirty years?

That's longer than Hiawatha!
 
2016-10-05 9:06:22 AM  
Be a good fellow and return the longfellows.
 
2016-10-05 9:25:57 AM  
You know how I can tell you're not in Skull and Bones Subby?
 
2016-10-05 9:53:40 AM  
Henry, yo momma was so butch, she had large and sinewy hands; and the muscles of her brawny arms are strong as iron bands.
 
2016-10-05 10:52:52 AM  
What about John Laroquette's spine?  Can I still keep that?
 
2016-10-05 11:37:33 AM  
Leaves of Grass my ass!
 
2016-10-05 12:55:42 PM  
I'll check my closet.
 
2016-10-05 1:30:30 PM  
Found 'em!

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2016-10-05 2:01:23 PM  
Not sure where Longfellow's parents are, but Wordsworth's still under the stairs.
Monty Python - Poets
Youtube gAobK3fyGDI
 
2016-10-05 3:45:17 PM  
Somebody stole my 5th cousin 7 times removed and her husband! Wicked, wicked people!

Sorry. I can never resist the genealogical angle. Maybe they thought they were stealing Henry Wadsworth and his wife. Still not an excuse for very bad behaviour.

Her name was Zilpah. Perhaps it was a scavenger hunt.

Item 47. A Zilpah and accessories
 
2016-10-05 3:49:56 PM  
Zilpha. My mistake.
 
2016-10-05 7:00:01 PM  

kcfarker: Found 'em!

[img.fark.net image 500x286]


"They're fine. In fact, they're better than fine. They're not aging anymore."

Well played. Love that movie.
 
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