Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Guardian)   The government finally allows Cliven Bundy to live rent free on federal land. Mission accomplished   ( theguardian.com) divider line
    More: Murica, Supreme Court of the United States, United States, United States Congress, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Prison, United States Constitution, Law enforcement agency, Harney County, Oregon  
•       •       •

9193 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Feb 2016 at 11:44 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



299 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2016-02-17 08:46:18 AM  
In court on Tuesday, the 69-year-old Bundy wore the same light-blue prison jumpsuit and faded pink undershirt that the former occupiers of the Malheur national wildlife refuge in south-eastern Oregon have worn at their hearings.

Fabulous!

Seriously, that's a Kodak moment. I hope someone was there with a camera.
 
2016-02-17 08:48:28 AM  
It would have been extremely foolish to grant him bail...

These assholes are right where they belong.
 
2016-02-17 08:51:09 AM  
It wasn't that he wanted to live free on federal land, subby. It was that he wanted to graze his cows for free on federal land. This has always been about his cows. See, he loves his cows. They're sacred to him. Not like Buddhist sacred, mind you. He wouldn't be a Buddhist because Buddhists don't believe in Jesus or America, and they don't eat hamburgers. I know, I know, it seems odd that you could "love cows" and want to eat hamburgers, but that's just part of what makes Cliven Bundy a patriot. It's like the old saying, "If you love something, set it free and then eat it." Which is what Cliven Bundy wanted the federal government to do, after all -- I mean, supposedly they're managing all this western land because they love the land and want to protect it, right? So what better way to show they love it than to set it free and let the cows eat it. Well, not "it," exactly, I mean cows don't exactly eat land, but they eat what grows on the land. Don't be stupid, don't try to trip me up on semantics. But in a nutshell he went through all this rigmarole because he wanted his beloved cows to eat the fruits of the beloved land. It's touching, really, a love story, and if you shut your eyes and imagine hard enough you can probably hear Cliven like I can hear him, wandering among his herd on a starry night with the Milky Way glittering overhead and the sounds of the desert night all around. Whoa, my cows, my darlings, I've hungered for your meat, a long and hungry time. And time goes by so slowly when you're hungry as I am. Are you hungry too?It's beautiful, touching, a true scene from the American west that we sadly don't get to witness often in this techno-hungry world. Anyway, show some respect. And maybe after he's sentenced the judge can show him a little respect, too, arrange for a different one of his cows every day to come visit him, spend some time in his cell, leave him a big heaping cowpie or two on the floor as a symbol of their time together and their shared love of the land. We can hope.
 
2016-02-17 08:56:29 AM  
"If he's released and goes back to his ranch, that's likely the last the court will see of him," judge Janice Stewart said, finding Bundy a danger to the community and a flight risk. She said that despite his lack of a criminal history, his refusal to pay grazing fees going back nearly two decades and his fomenting of the armed standoff made it clear that Bundy has little interest in complying with federal court orders.

Heh... Hoisted on his own petard.
 
2016-02-17 09:28:28 AM  

Pocket Ninja: It wasn't that he wanted to live free on federal land, subby. It was that he wanted to graze his cows for free on federal land. This has always been about his cows. See, he loves his cows. They're sacred to him. Not like Buddhist sacred, mind you. He wouldn't be a Buddhist because Buddhists don't believe in Jesus or America, and they don't eat hamburgers. I know, I know, it seems odd that you could "love cows" and want to eat hamburgers, but that's just part of what makes Cliven Bundy a patriot. It's like the old saying, "If you love something, set it free and then eat it." Which is what Cliven Bundy wanted the federal government to do, after all -- I mean, supposedly they're managing all this western land because they love the land and want to protect it, right? So what better way to show they love it than to set it free and let the cows eat it. Well, not "it," exactly, I mean cows don't exactly eat land, but they eat what grows on the land. Don't be stupid, don't try to trip me up on semantics. But in a nutshell he went through all this rigmarole because he wanted his beloved cows to eat the fruits of the beloved land. It's touching, really, a love story, and if you shut your eyes and imagine hard enough you can probably hear Cliven like I can hear him, wandering among his herd on a starry night with the Milky Way glittering overhead and the sounds of the desert night all around. Whoa, my cows, my darlings, I've hungered for your meat, a long and hungry time. And time goes by so slowly when you're hungry as I am. Are you hungry too?It's beautiful, touching, a true scene from the American west that we sadly don't get to witness often in this techno-hungry world. Anyway, show some respect. And maybe after he's sentenced the judge can show him a little respect, too, arrange for a different one of his cows every day to come visit him, spend some time in his cell, leave him a big heaping cowpie or two on the floor as a symbol of their time together and their shared lov ...


Maybe his cows will save him...

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2016-02-17 09:52:49 AM  
I know of a good calendar to send to him:
chick-fil-a.comView Full Size
 
2016-02-17 10:48:41 AM  
nelson-haha.api-meal.euView Full Size
 
2016-02-17 10:53:50 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2016-02-17 11:11:05 AM  
Guess this wont hit the market anytime soon:

pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2016-02-17 11:13:42 AM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

I love the look in his eyes. Have a fun stay!
 
2016-02-17 11:30:07 AM  

keylock71: "If he's released and goes back to his ranch, that's likely the last the court will see of him," judge Janice Stewart said, finding Bundy a danger to the community and a flight risk. She said that despite his lack of a criminal history, his refusal to pay grazing fees going back nearly two decades and his fomenting of the armed standoff made it clear that Bundy has little interest in complying with federal court orders.

Heh... Hoisted on his own petard.


Smart judge.  Very smart.
 
2016-02-17 11:47:11 AM  
Technically, it was his cattle that were living free on federal land.
 
2016-02-17 11:48:05 AM  
Suck it, suck it long and hard Bundy.

/don't worry, he probably will be doing just that.
 
2016-02-17 11:48:45 AM  
Freedom loving freeloader to get a free lesson on the true meaning of free.
 
2016-02-17 11:49:30 AM  

keylock71: It would have been extremely foolish to grant him bail...

These assholes are right where they belong.


Yep. The prosecution noted that if he has a history of ignoring Federal authority, and if released on bail, he would likely never appear in the courtroom again.
 
2016-02-17 11:49:48 AM  

BizarreMan: keylock71: "If he's released and goes back to his ranch, that's likely the last the court will see of him," judge Janice Stewart said, finding Bundy a danger to the community and a flight risk. She said that despite his lack of a criminal history, his refusal to pay grazing fees going back nearly two decades and his fomenting of the armed standoff made it clear that Bundy has little interest in complying with federal court orders.

Heh... Hoisted on his own petard.

Smart judge.  Very smart.


yeah! I'm going to enjoy a simple but deep and abiding glee at these idiots' lives sucking hard from here on in.
 
2016-02-17 11:51:04 AM  
I hope he's filed a change of address form so the dildoes still in transit will get to him.
 
2016-02-17 11:52:05 AM  
Good.
 
2016-02-17 11:52:09 AM  
But who will vote republican?
 
2016-02-17 11:54:01 AM  
I'm happy for my tax dollars to pay for his stay at the Greybar Hotel.
 
2016-02-17 11:54:04 AM  
He can trade his dildos for cigarettes.
 
2016-02-17 11:55:18 AM  
I was very, very tickled to read the feds' description of how Bundy "ranches." It's like he's a primitive hunter-gatherer, who preys upon a federally-subsidized herd of wild cattle. He's more cave troll than cowman.

"Bundy uses that entire range of land to graze his cattle unlawfully," prosecutor said in court papers. "While Bundy claims he is a cattle rancher, his ranching operation -- to the extent it can be called that -- is unconventional if not bizarre."

Bundy allows his cattle to "run wild on the public lands with little, if any, human interaction until such time he traps them and hauls them off to be sold or slaughtered for his own consumption," prosecutors said.
 
2016-02-17 11:56:03 AM  
"If he's released and goes back to his ranch, that's likely the last the court will see of him," judge Janice Stewart said, finding Bundy a danger to the community and a flight risk.

I get what she's saying, and I get that she's right. I just don't get why this is a true statement.

If I skipped bail under these circumstances and went back to my ranch (-style house), cops would come and haul my ass back to jail. If I loaded up on guns and ammo, the only difference is that they'd probably end up hauling my corpse away, and I might delay the inevitable for all of five minutes while the SWAT team showed up. No amount of wives or children that I might cram in to my bunker with me would change anything.

And for the record, I'm a middle-aged white dude! It's weird to think that there might be some undiscovered level of even greater privilege that he's tapping into. Don't hog it to yourself, Cliven! What's your secret?
 
2016-02-17 11:56:34 AM  
Also

About damn time.

Secondly, Boise is a lot closer than Portland to the refuge.  Guess they should have opened a map up, or paid more attention to that teachin lady.

Boise is nice airport too.
 
2016-02-17 11:57:32 AM  

semiotix: "If he's released and goes back to his ranch, that's likely the last the court will see of him," judge Janice Stewart said, finding Bundy a danger to the community and a flight risk.

I get what she's saying, and I get that she's right. I just don't get why this is a true statement.

If I skipped bail under these circumstances and went back to my ranch (-style house), cops would come and haul my ass back to jail. If I loaded up on guns and ammo, the only difference is that they'd probably end up hauling my corpse away, and I might delay the inevitable for all of five minutes while the SWAT team showed up. No amount of wives or children that I might cram in to my bunker with me would change anything.

And for the record, I'm a middle-aged white dude! It's weird to think that there might be some undiscovered level of even greater privilege that he's tapping into. Don't hog it to yourself, Cliven! What's your secret?


Get on Fox News and the sovereign citizen movement radar first.
 
2016-02-17 11:57:34 AM  
The chickens cows have come home to roost. Inspire armed resistance to law enforcement, have snipers aiming rifles at federal agents, no bail for you. The last thing we need is yet another stand-off when it's time to haul you back off of your ranch for jail.
 
2016-02-17 11:57:49 AM  
FTA: In support of the government's case that Bundy should not be released on bail ahead of his trial, Myhre argued that Bundy's "actions and deeds show his violent nature" and that many of the people who came to the standoff at the ranch two years ago were still at large and still "pledged" to support the rancher.

Bundy's been making paid speeches for two years now about how he and his buddies ran off the feds, took over the land, and he's encouraged like-minded individuals to do just like he did, for the same results. A couple of "ranchers" made big pronouncements about how they would not pay their grazing fees, (but keep the land and cows, of course) after going to listen to Cliven speak. I think one of the Oregon guys did the same thing.

And remember this:

"This is notice that We the People of Harney County and also We the People of the citizens of the United States DO GIVE NOTICE THAT WE WILL RETAIN POSSESSION OF THE HARNEY COUNTY RESOURCE CENTER"
"What this is saying is that Cliven Bundy is taking control of things. If we don't retain it, then we've lost everything that we've done in the last two months. We're not gonna give up."


Just like the rest of the loony tunes crew, Cliven made his own case against himself.
 
2016-02-17 11:58:08 AM  
There were a whole bunch of people involved in that Bundy stand off. Remember that guy on that was aiming his rifle on that bridge/over pass? Shouldn't those guys get arrested too? I mean, isn't aiming a weapon at a federal agent a felony?
 
2016-02-17 11:58:08 AM  
TIL Cliven Bundy is in jail. Wow, I can't believe I missed his arrest.
 
2016-02-17 12:01:08 PM  

STDMan69: [img.fark.net image 289x515]
I love the look in his eyes. Have a fun stay!


You know, I'll just bet that there are a couple of Negroes in that federal prison that he will spending time in. This could be a great opportunity for him to teach them about themselves and spread his awareness. I'm sure that they will all be grateful for his knowledgeable insights.
 
2016-02-17 12:01:12 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: I'm happy for my tax dollars to pay for his stay at the Greybar Hotel.


I wonder sometimes if the money spent on incarcerating criminals could be better utilized on social programs etc.

This is not one of those instances.
 
2016-02-17 12:02:56 PM  

bighairyguy: I hope he's filed a change of address form so the dildoes still in transit will get to him.


Dildos? His new successful and attractive friends won't need no stinkin' dildos after they gratefully offer him a ton of toilet Merlot.
 
2016-02-17 12:03:14 PM  
2016 is turning out to be a bad year for bootstrappy blowhards wearing cowboy hats. The CMA must be rather nervous.
 
2016-02-17 12:03:18 PM  

cgraves67: keylock71: It would have been extremely foolish to grant him bail...

These assholes are right where they belong.

Yep. The prosecution noted that if he has a history of ignoring Federal authority, and if released on bail, he would likely never appear in the courtroom again.


...and the hilarious part is he was easily arrested because of his own hubris.
 
2016-02-17 12:03:31 PM  

Target Builder: TIL Cliven Bundy is in jail. Wow, I can't believe I missed his arrest.


Yeah, it happened in the middle of the wildlife refuge debacle.  The night they were discussing surrendering, Bundy tried to hop on a plane to Oregon to get them to keep going.  He got nabbed at the Portland airport around 2AM.
 
2016-02-17 12:04:54 PM  

gopher321: In court on Tuesday, the 69-year-old Bundy wore the same light-blue prison jumpsuit and faded pink undershirt that the former occupiers of the Malheur national wildlife refuge in south-eastern Oregon have worn at their hearings.

Fabulous!

Seriously, that's a Kodak moment. I hope someone was there with a camera.


I don't think we should rub it in like that (shut up, pervs - I didn't mean rub like that).

Seriously, prison should be about rehabilitationi, separating the dangerous from society and to some extent punishment but ordering pink underwear seems excessive and quite frankly a little bit juvenile.
 
2016-02-17 12:05:54 PM  

mod3072: STDMan69: [img.fark.net image 289x515]
I love the look in his eyes. Have a fun stay!

You know, I'll just bet that there are a couple of Negroes in that federal prison that he will spending time in. This could be a great opportunity for him to teach them about themselves and spread his awareness. I'm sure that they will all be grateful for his knowledgeable insights.


If anything, I suspect they'll be spending time in him, instead.
 
2016-02-17 12:06:21 PM  

Pocket Ninja: It's like the old saying, "If you love something, set it free and then eat it."


You magnificent bastard.
 
2016-02-17 12:07:02 PM  

shower_in_my_socks: The chickens cows have come home to roost. Inspire armed resistance to law enforcement, have snipers aiming rifles at federal agents, no bail for you. The last thing we need is yet another stand-off when it's time to haul you back off of your ranch for jail.


s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2016-02-17 12:07:27 PM  
 
2016-02-17 12:07:43 PM  
In other news, the Malheur Morons treated the refuge like their personal port-a-john.

If someone is in pre-trial custody, can they be put into orange jumpsuits and armed with pooper scoopers and made to clean up their own crap?
 
2016-02-17 12:08:08 PM  
He said Fiore was then supposed to pick up Bundy at the airport, but she headed to the refuge once she received word the situation was escalating. "She didn't know the FBI, as it enlisted her services [as a go-between], was intending to arrest her friend," Grefenson told the court.
Stewart said: "I fail to see how this is relevant."


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2016-02-17 12:08:10 PM  

semiotix: Don't hog it to yourself, Cliven! What's your secret?


It's a good point. Where I use to live it was all white people. It's rare one goes crazy involving guns, but when they have, the swat teams are in from all over. And you'll get just as many new ventilation holes in your body as the NYPD would give to a man with much darker skin reaching for his wallet.

What is the government equation for white crazy people with guns as to when they start pulling the trigger?
 
2016-02-17 12:09:17 PM  

AeAe: There were a whole bunch of people involved in that Bundy stand off. Remember that guy on that was aiming his rifle on that bridge/over pass? Shouldn't those guys get arrested too? I mean, isn't aiming a weapon at a federal agent a felony?


Wasn't he arrested with the Dildo Gang in Oregon?
 
2016-02-17 12:10:22 PM  

freetomato: In other news, the Malheur Morons treated the refuge like their personal port-a-john.

If someone is in pre-trial custody, can they be put into orange jumpsuits and armed with pooper scoopers and made to clean up their own crap?


So that's what the giant hole they dug was for.  Should have figured.  People thought it was a trench or something at first, but then they just kept digging deeper with no apparent benefit.  Which kind of sums up their whole "movement," really.
 
2016-02-17 12:11:05 PM  
They really really really should make him wait for his trial at Sheriff Joe's prison camp.
The head-explodey would be fabulous.
 
2016-02-17 12:11:08 PM  

AeAe: There were a whole bunch of people involved in that Bundy stand off. Remember that guy on that was aiming his rifle on that bridge/over pass? Shouldn't those guys get arrested too? I mean, isn't aiming a weapon at a federal agent a felony?


I'm sure that before the statute of limitations expires more yahoos will be facing charges.
 
2016-02-17 12:11:30 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size

I thought he already had a place...
 
2016-02-17 12:12:14 PM  

semiotix: If I skipped bail under these circumstances and went back to my ranch (-style house), cops would come and haul my ass back to jail. If I loaded up on guns and ammo, the only difference is that they'd probably end up hauling my corpse away, and I might delay the inevitable for all of five minutes while the SWAT team showed up. No amount of wives or children that I might cram in to my bunker with me would change anything.


The only difference is that Cliven would get hundreds of people like him to come load up with guns and ammo too, and it would be just like a few years ago, except worse. Because more of them would show up, and the Bundy Ranch would be Ground Zero for the Great Doomed Patriotic War. You don't really need to see this to be convinced, do you? Haven't they proven themselves to be this crazy, seven times over?

That's kind of how they live--they don't really have any purpose, any good jobs, and it's all about finding some cause they can attach themselves to. This shiat will continue until it's shut down with an iron fist, and I'm sure it will be even prettier if Hillary or Bernie becomes the next president.
 
2016-02-17 12:12:32 PM  

freetomato: In other news, the Malheur Morons treated the refuge like their personal port-a-john.

If someone is in pre-trial custody, can they be put into orange jumpsuits and armed with pooper scoopers and made to clean up their own crap?


Sheriff Joe believes they should be harshly punished as if  they've already been convicted, but the Supreme Court recently ruled that pre-trial detainees have more rights to sue for mistreatment than convicted prisoners.
 
Displayed 50 of 299 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking





On Twitter



Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report