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(Some Guy)   Taliban reporting Bin Laden has died of lung cancer, kidney disease, martyrdom, and a wicked hang nail. No, really, he's dead.   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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7009 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2001 at 3:50 PM (18 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

77 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-12-26 3:52:38 PM  
I hope it's true, but I won't be satisfied until they have his body.
2001-12-26 3:54:42 PM  
Add to that list: Colonel Mustard did him in with the candlestick.
2001-12-26 3:54:56 PM  
Frankly I doubt anyone could be said to have had a "peaceful" death in Tora-Bora in December... it would have been a noisy one at best.
2001-12-26 3:56:55 PM  
I want to see his head on a pike pole, sticking in the rubble at Ground Zero....
2001-12-26 3:58:35 PM  
Drudge is reporting that a new post-holiday Osama video
is scheduled for release.
2001-12-26 3:58:45 PM  
find his gdamn head!

You said it Proud2B_American!
2001-12-26 4:00:00 PM  
dig him up and collect the 26 million $$$$$$
2001-12-26 4:00:53 PM  
damn, hope he got a lil' cock and ball torture before his demise

2001-12-26 4:01:46 PM  
Anyone remember the article that came out about 2 weeks after the attacks that supposedly said that both bin Laden and Mullah Omar had been shot in the back by members within their ranks?
2001-12-26 4:02:23 PM  
I bet he had his head frozen. It's stored next to Walt Disney's. Now he's hanging with Elvis at Taco Bell.
2001-12-26 4:04:30 PM  
This would be the best way. Concocted or not.
Capture means hijackings, demands for his release in the future, and more terrorism.
Certain conclusive death means martyrdom for the bastard to all his followers.
Best that he just be dead, and let it be a Oswald style cover-up.
Long as the powers that be, know he is dead, I don't need to know. I will continue along my CNN spoonfed sheep trail.
2001-12-26 4:04:37 PM  
The Pakistan Observer reported that bin Laden had a "peaceful natural death in mid-December in the vicinity of famous Tora Bora mountains," the newspaper said.

Because what is more peaceful and natural than dying in a mountain cave in winter with bombs going off all around you? Happens to most of us.
2001-12-26 4:05:25 PM  

The End
2001-12-26 4:06:04 PM  
Drudge and are reporting that a new Bin Laden tape will be released tonight, taped a couple weeks ago. Deathbed confession?
2001-12-26 4:07:03 PM  
I thought he was already dead? This guy has had more comebacks than Rocky.
2001-12-26 4:07:39 PM  
I thought he was already killed by his own people? This guy has had more comebacks than Rocky.
2001-12-26 4:08:00 PM  
Say hi to Satan for me.
2001-12-26 4:08:40 PM  
the obvious and most easily workable excuse, "He was vaporized by a Daisy Cutter bomb, there are no remains to find, he's ashes. No, really, don't even bother to look." is notably absent...wonder why?
2001-12-26 4:09:18 PM  
Just_Dan: I was confused till your second post, now it ALL makes sense!

2001-12-26 4:09:21 PM  
But I repeat myself...
2001-12-26 4:09:44 PM  
Ok, flip a coin. Heads, he's dead. Tails, he's still hiding.

Who can say for sure one way or another? Now we're going to spend countless thousands on DNA testing of all those Al Queda body parts.....

I need a beer.
2001-12-26 4:09:59 PM  
I drowned him in bacon grease.
2001-12-26 4:10:32 PM  
Damn spastic fingers have a mind of their own. Hit add comment before I could reread what I wrote, heh!
2001-12-26 4:11:27 PM  
New Post-Xmas Osama video WAHOOO!!!!!

2001-12-26 4:15:07 PM  
Would that be the post-Christmas Osama special, or the
Post-Osama Christmas Special?
2001-12-26 4:21:30 PM  
Yeah, you know, the Taliban are known for their honesty and all....
2001-12-26 4:26:51 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2001-12-26 4:27:33 PM  
He died of complications related to being hit in the head with a frozen turkey. Film at eleven.
2001-12-26 4:27:41 PM

IN THE TAPE, bin Laden accuses the United States of oppressing Muslims in the Arab world, in particular Palestinians, and discusses the U.S. bombing of Sudan following the attack on the U.S. Embassy in Nairobi, Kenya.
He accuses the United States of killing hundreds and thousands of innocent Afghans in its bombing raids.
2001-12-26 4:29:13 PM  
And in other news, Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.
2001-12-26 4:29:17 PM  

Are you an 31337 M4sT0r ]-[4><0r??????
2001-12-26 4:29:17 PM  
Yep, tape shown on that Al Jazeera T.V.

Entire tape to released to U.S. on Thursday.
2001-12-26 4:31:43 PM  
Franky-F: Actually, I thought my comment kinda suX0red, but I really wanted to try that out.
2001-12-26 4:34:29 PM  
WTF is up with these tapes? This is like some cheesy B movie.
He attacks us, we are stunned.
We retaliate with bombing, he releases tape.
We keep bombing, his dumbass collegues issue statement he is dead. He promptly releases another tape.
Why do we even care about his tapes? It's not like there is logic behind the intial attacks, and we certainly aren't going to reason with him, or even find middle ground.
Kill him, now!
2001-12-26 4:35:11 PM  

I thought it was cool, never seen it before I just like calling people "31337 M4sT0r ]-[4><0rs" cause it usually pisses them off. It does on Battle Net anyway.

Good clean trollin fun!
2001-12-26 4:35:36 PM  
geraldo said he killed him
2001-12-26 4:36:04 PM  
More info about the tape here:
2001-12-26 4:37:12 PM  
Isn't Osama rooming at Harmonia's house? I heard they got together with Goatman and Mullah Omar for drinks and haggis the other day.
2001-12-26 4:37:37 PM  
SweaterGirl, good point but who wrote your bio?
Could it be......
[image from too old to be available]

I liked the picture better...
2001-12-26 4:39:31 PM  
He is actually in France. negotiating their surrender.
2001-12-26 4:40:32 PM  
*cough* bullshiat *cough*

-he who stacks pork
2001-12-26 4:44:34 PM  
I kicked his ass then laid a nice warm Cleavland Steamer in his mouth.
2001-12-26 4:51:48 PM  
What this thread needs is a Photoshop picture of Geraldo and Osama inserted into a "Weekend at Bernie's" Movie Poster. Please, Somebody make me laugh.
2001-12-26 4:54:03 PM  
God! Why can't the news be true just one time!

Colon cancer, cancer of the face, cancer of the balls..dick..toes....

Cancer of all things to this POS!
2001-12-26 4:54:30 PM  
no way did he die of ANY kind of cancer. Did you see how fat! he was in the tape they released with him claiming responsiblity? That was just last week!
2001-12-26 5:01:03 PM  
That explains why he was just on Al Jazeera TV with a tape that's a couple of days old. Just on CNN.

2001-12-26 5:03:07 PM  
Taliban Times is reporting that the latest Usama video is out on DVD, in full Dolby. It even has a blooper section. Usama accidentally mispronounces "Tora Bora", as something that amuses Afghan people, hilarity ensues. Yawn...
2001-12-26 5:07:59 PM  
...and he has the clap.
2001-12-26 5:12:57 PM  
they should add a laughtrack to the videos
2001-12-26 5:14:19 PM  
Looks kinda sickly to me......​den.jpg
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