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(Chick)   Where did the Mormons all come from?   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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6444 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2001 at 3:50 PM (18 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

178 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-12-26 3:54:27 PM  
Utah, of course!
2001-12-26 3:57:45 PM  
i think every religion has it good points & bad.

Mormonism isn't even a religion.
2001-12-26 3:57:50 PM  
they came from where they went to?

aww shiat! brain cramp! #222 for me!
2001-12-26 3:58:51 PM  
The mormons are going to take over and destroy us all, but only after the Muslims do it, and then it is the Jews turn, and them maybe the Catholics; or have they already had their turn? Hard to say really. I guess we should write Chick and find out which evil is taking over the world this week.
2001-12-26 3:59:22 PM  
Yeah, that sounds about right. Chick did not mention the US army's invasion of Utah though.

All that does not really matter, I still have never met a mormon that I did not like.
2001-12-26 3:59:38 PM  
These immigrants were supposed to have been fair skinned. However, because of wickedness, many became darker skinned. The dark-skinned men eventually killed all the light-skinned (righteous) men, with only Moroni surviving.

So Chick's a racist, too?
2001-12-26 4:01:29 PM  
Fb's ass?
2001-12-26 4:01:49 PM  
In defense of Jack, Geddysciple, he was just explaining what the Mormons believe, not defending/endorsing it. I will never defend Jack Chick again, however.
2001-12-26 4:01:58 PM  
I find it funny that other religions pick apart at the inconsistancies of other religions...

As if any religion is any less faulty than the next.

Personally, I think Mormonism was made just to justify polygamy...
2001-12-26 4:02:10 PM  
Come on, has Chick even seen Orgazmo? If he saw a Porn Star mormon with a Ray that caused him to shoot his first load, hed be on his knees worshipping Moroni too :)
2001-12-26 4:02:32 PM  
The mormons are from mars dad....
2001-12-26 4:03:56 PM  
ohh... forgot, the Mormon from orgazmo knew kick ass kung fu too :)
2001-12-26 4:06:51 PM  
This is one case where obtaining information from an unbiased source, and obtaining it from Chick will yield the same result.
2001-12-26 4:08:05 PM  
It would seem Mr. Chick has gotten one thing right. But you will never see me defend Chick again, like JakJak said.
2001-12-26 4:08:38 PM  
Amazingly for a Chick article that was rather subdued and relativly free of hate. I'm impressed, though I'm sure Chick didn't right this himself. It was utterly lacking quotes from the bible contradicting what the morman's do (Isaiah 4:5)
2001-12-26 4:09:42 PM  
What, no pictures??! LAME.
(p.s. we all know that little mormons come from mommy and daddy mormons. sheesh.)
2001-12-26 4:12:13 PM  
That's easy !
Mormons all shot out of Brigham Young's dick as he was beating off to nude pictures of Bea Arthur.
I saw it on The History Channel.
2001-12-26 4:12:22 PM  
just can't see myself following a religion based on the word of "Moroni"

Come on, Smith was smoking some powerful shiat back then. An angel named that??? please. I must agree that most mormons are good people but what a bunch of farking sheep. They are REQUIRED to give 10% of their income to the church. (and a piece of their wives)
2001-12-26 4:13:04 PM  
I think this is so Moroni . . . c
2001-12-26 4:15:58 PM  
Mormons know this and they are still Mormons???????
2001-12-26 4:17:41 PM  
My God is better than your God.... phooey.

Heaven forbid ANY religion advocates tolerance of other peoples beliefs, without attempting to convert them to their "right way".
2001-12-26 4:19:40 PM  
I thought Chick sounded uncharacteristically restrained in this article. Must have been a staff report.
2001-12-26 4:19:43 PM  
2001-12-26 4:22:38 PM  
d'oh! looks like I could have said: I agree with Toriko.
(forgot to "add comment" before going to the bathroom....
I finally found those naked pics of Bea Arthur everyone keeps talking about. yeah, baby.)
2001-12-26 4:22:40 PM  
A more appropriate title:

"Where did the Morons all come from?"
2001-12-26 4:25:20 PM  
Shouldn't this be [IRONIC]?
2001-12-26 4:27:12 PM  
I've read the Book of Morman to see what it was and concluded it makes just about as much sense as the Bible and any other religious book. They're all written and interpreted by someone who talked to an invisible being. Sounds kind of like Timothy Leary during his experiments.

One thing I've always wondered though. Smith claims to have found the Word on golden plates. Now this was in the later 1800's so it's not like the 10 Commandments that could be claimed to have been lost somewhere a few thousand years ago during religious struggles. This is recent enough that someone somewheer should know where the plates are. I've asked several "regular" Mormans and even church elders and they refuse to say one way or the other where the plates are. This says they have no idea because if they knew then they;d be holding them up and proclaiming THE TRUTH.

But again like any other religion. Brag and preach on the things that can't be proven and ignore anything contradictory.
2001-12-26 4:27:33 PM  
Didn't some farker like, see some falling star and claim it was a sign from god or something? Those are some wierd farks.
2001-12-26 4:33:59 PM  
I'm curious why ANY article from Jack Chick has an "Interesting" tag...

That said, I think I'm joining the religion of "Kraft", because not only does it have Macaroni, but it's the cheesiest!
2001-12-26 4:35:21 PM  
oo, oo, can I join too?

2001-12-26 4:35:57 PM  
Brigham Young had 53 wives. Gotta respect that.
2001-12-26 4:44:50 PM  
Ah, but Walkman, Mormon's are notoriously secrative, in other words you have to be a Mormon before you can do or see the mormon stuff. Like they have this huge temple here in San Diego and only Mormons are allowed inside. somthing about sanctifying it and the unclean masses.

And trampolines, they like trampolines.
2001-12-26 4:51:16 PM  
Jesus and I love you Mask.
One day some friendly mormons came to my door. It was all fun and games until I invited them in for coffee.. :-(
2001-12-26 4:55:22 PM  
Mormons popped up out of the sea like changelings from a Lovecraftian nightmare.
2001-12-26 4:59:31 PM  
site = farked
2001-12-26 5:01:45 PM  

Well, when Smith found the plates in upstate NY near Bethel, VT, he did what any sensible person would do after finding priceless plates declaring our current view of the history of the world to be inaccurate- he reburied them!

He was nearly illiterate in English, but he claims to have translated them from Greek, Latin, and Egyptian (! heiroglyphs or what?).

Mormonism is truly a destructive religion- hate filled, racist, sexist, incredibly abusive of the natural Earth, and of course Mormons are wonderful at breeding ignorance.

Mormons almost make the Taliban look like a loving group.

check for some great horror stories of ex-morms...

Mormons ruined Utah, and they won't stop until they have ruined the whole world.
2001-12-26 5:11:22 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2001-12-26 5:12:03 PM  
2001-12-26 5:12:43 PM  
Wow, Joseph Smith didn't even rate...
2001-12-26 5:14:12 PM  
Stupid Christians are all the same. Gas them all.
2001-12-26 5:14:48 PM  
fb Agreed.
2001-12-26 5:32:23 PM  
Anyone who tells me they are mormon might as well tell me they are a complete idiot. It means the same to me.
2001-12-26 5:32:50 PM  
Fb- is a Jew.
2001-12-26 5:41:59 PM  
i love mormon pussy.
2001-12-26 5:44:54 PM  
Let me paraphrase a storyt I heard about the Golden Tablets... (also liberal use of quotes :) )

The golden tablets, after being "deciphered"(made up) were then "taken back up to heaven"(Not really) to be "back with god"(satan) and have never been heard from again.
2001-12-26 5:45:03 PM  
From the ex-morg (Morg= The concept of Mormons being like the Borg.)

Geddysciple Unfortunately, all of that light-skinned/dark-skinned crap is what the church teaches. If the indians and the negros became "pure of heart" and sinless, they would become a "white and delightsome" people.

Link Check about 5 or so paragraphs down.

Another Link via Ex-mormon board

Jobe Yes, they are sheep. I was one of the best. Sort of. While for a long time, I was right there in it living under that gospel, I wasn't interested in thinking for myself, but for a spare few times, and I knew with a surety that I was going to hell for doing so. Then I had a few really enlightening moments, and now I'm recovering from mormonism.
10% of their earnings, no matter if it costs them being able to afford bills. They expect you to pay up. If you don't, you're going to burn. And they have a church welfare program. But if you find yourself in need of it, they'll interrogate you and expect you to lean on family and friends first. Allllll this money the church has, enough to make the fortune 500, and the Deseret newsletter had to start taking ads for R-rated films and alchol because they were losing revenue. Enough to make grand temples when there isn't the membership to warrant or support it, but God help you if you need assistance because those rewards for paying tithing and being "good" just aren't covering your utilities.
As for the women, they don't do that anymore. But you listen to some of the stories of temple recommend interviews. See, not all mormons get to go "party down" in those temples. You have to be worthy. And according to the church, it is
their business just what you're doing with your wife in your bedroom, and in what positions. They'll humiliate her (if they're sadists) if she admits to giving or receiving oral ablutions....some of them are obviously not getting any, or are obviously big mean assholes who like to wring all the filthy details from you on some power trip.

For awhile there, polygamy was gospel. But some of those wives were already married to other men. The "elders" bullied the wives, or their husbands into giving them up.
There is a rumor uncomfirmed that engaged men were threatened with castration and damnation if they did not give up their brides-to-be so these dirty old men (and i do mean dirty old men) could have them for thsmselves.

OcterDoctopus has the right lead. has all the dirt from people who were there. And the horror stories of people who have tried to get out.
2001-12-26 5:54:20 PM  
Oh yes, the ratio to mormon owned trampolines, and mormon kids in the er for broken limbs is fairly high. One kid went and broke both arms. Poor sod.
2001-12-26 6:02:25 PM  
"Mormons know this and they are still Mormons???????"

Most Mormons actually DON'T know this. I was raised Mormon, and they really never tell you much of anything about the Mountain Meadows Massacre. Former rules concerning polygamy are rarely more than briefly mentioned. Most Mormons today (the ones that I know, anyway) are extremely good people, clueless to a very farked up past. The church today teaches one to have extremely high standards and good morals.

"Mormonism is truly a destructive religion- hate filled, racist, sexist, incredibly abusive of the natural Earth, and of course Mormons are wonderful at breeding ignorance."

You ought to back up statements like this before making them.

Racist: Before some time in the 70s, I think, Blacks couldn't be priesthood holders. That suddenly changed all of a sudden, and a lot of people were really pissed. All races are treated equally within the church now. Racism, nor anything that could be justifiably be interpreted as racism, is present in the church today.

Sexist: The church teaches that some roles are more or less gender-specific, I guess. Men are given the duty to lead the church, whereas women have more "motherly/wively" duties, encouraged to raise the children, be supportive of the husband, etc. Most women in the church understand/agree with this and don't have a problem with it. Although, I can understand why someone would view this as "sexist".

Hate-filled? Mormons are taught to "love thy enemies". No principle anywhere in the church is based on hate.

Abusive of the Earth? What the hell are you talking about?

Ignorant? Yes. Most mormons are extremely closed minded and ignorant. Too much of the church is based on blindly following what someone tells you to do, without questioning it.

I still agree with a handful taught within the Mormon church. A lot of the Book of Mormon actually does make sense and fills in a lot of the gaping holes that the Bible leaves you with. However, I highly discourage anyone from joining the church, as it does ask a whole lot more than most people are willing to give. The people within it are persistent and once they have your name and address/phone number and a HINT of interest from you, they're really hard to get to just go away.

Judging from the posts made by a good portion of you on here, you're also hate-filled and ignorant. Learn the facts.
2001-12-26 6:04:07 PM  
It all began with an angel named "Moroni", from which we get the word, "moron"....
2001-12-26 6:11:21 PM  
Why is it that the mormons always get mad when you ask them about the wife thing? That was the best thing they had going for them.
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