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(Fark)   Fark's 2015 Headline of the Year contest: Puns and Wordplay headlines   ( divider line
    More: HOTY, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Hard-hitting journalistic piece, New England Patriots, pet emu, earliest known reference, little girl, Kim Kardashian, browser cache, Contests  
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4000 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Dec 2015 at 11:11 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

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2015-12-30 2:00:21 PM  
Last two the last two Headline of the Year contests are this Puns/Wordplay contest, and then the Context contest, which will be up within the hour if I did everything right.

I always like to put out a warning: if puns make you stabby, this contest is NOT for you. Lots of silliness below. But a few really good headlines in there.
2015-12-30 2:04:43 PM  
Ice cream man shot to death. There will be a traditional sundae service

2015-12-30 2:04:46 PM  
2015-12-30 2:04:49 PM  
I said a tick hops, the tickie the tickie to the tick tick hop and you don't stop the rock it to the bang bang buggie say up jump the buggie to the rhythm spreading lyme disease

2015-12-30 2:04:52 PM  
Prisoner surfs out of Norway jail, after obtaining a waiver and rider

2015-12-30 2:04:55 PM  
Twin brothers, age 52, jailed after throwing bricks at each other. Neither was mortarly wounded

2015-12-30 2:04:58 PM  
Murder suspect found hiding in a refrigerator. Deputies believe the murderer is (•_•) / ( •_•)⌐■-■ / (⌐■_■) cold blooded

2015-12-30 2:05:01 PM  
Horse falls from trailer onto highway. Police say the trailer may have been (•_•) / ( •_•)⌐■-■ / (⌐■_■) un-stable

2015-12-30 2:05:04 PM  
2015-12-30 2:05:07 PM  
Revolting ruthless reprobates ruin ruins, remain remorseless

2015-12-30 2:05:10 PM  
Investigators find that the co-pilot who deliberately crashed an airliner in the Alps had previously undergone treatment for suicidal tendencies, but it was years ago, so it didn't raise any black flags and he was considered a minor threat

2015-12-30 2:05:13 PM  
Man gets worldwide attention after growing 33-pound vegetable, says he now comes home beet, just wants to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed

2015-12-30 2:05:17 PM  
Federal agents shoot man outside furniture store in order to avoid giving chaise

2015-12-30 2:05:20 PM  
Why'd the Florida man slash the woman's tires? She got to the bingo hall B4 him

2015-12-30 2:05:23 PM  
Carrion luggage found at Tokyo train station

2015-12-30 2:05:26 PM  
Actor accidentally stabbed in the stomach with a bread knife during theater performance finishes scene, says he was lucky it was a four loaf cleaver

2015-12-30 2:05:29 PM  
Australia may ban the sales of Vegemite in some areas, expecting to lead men at work to cease business as usual, disrupting cargo shipments. Subby is of two hearts over this proposal, as this is overkill even in the land down under

2015-12-30 2:05:32 PM  
NASA space missions used whale oil for lube until it was banned. Combined with beef cubes for space food and Velcro hook-and-loop fasteners, it's enough to make you say "Whale oil beef hooked"

2015-12-30 2:05:35 PM  
Sure, the World Air Guitar Championships are pointless, but the competitors don't fret

2015-12-30 2:05:38 PM  
Man who can't get his lower teeth returned from his dentist after a billing dispute now feels like an indentured servant

2015-12-30 2:05:41 PM  
Rock art vandalized by college geology students. This is why we can't have gneiss things

2015-12-30 2:05:44 PM  
Flatulent fatso furious for firing, fights former firm for flippant frustrating failure to forget fault-free farts, feces flare-ups. FFS

2015-12-30 2:05:47 PM  
Police stop speeding Russian hearse filled with 1000 pounds of caviar. Driver says he was on his way to death roe

2015-12-30 2:05:50 PM  
For first time ever in New Zealand, surgeon reattaches duck's fractured beak. No word on who gets the bill

2015-12-30 2:05:54 PM  
Cops seize saw after saw thieves seen

2015-12-30 2:06:00 PM  
Oyster herpes is back. Scientists once again try to combat clam-ydia

2015-12-30 2:06:03 PM  
If you're transporting salmon by truck, always make sure the lox are secure

2015-12-30 2:06:06 PM  
Australian tennis player arrested for loud music in his hotel room, is charged with making a racket

2015-12-30 2:06:09 PM  
Like sands through the hourglass, General Hospital replaces its head writer, who is no longer as young or restless as he once was, though he took comfort in knowing there is always another world he can play in to make the days of our lives better

2015-12-30 2:06:12 PM  
Man invents lamp that runs on human blood. No, that's not a type-O

2015-12-30 2:06:15 PM  
Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre found dead, his body laying Stihl

2015-12-30 2:06:18 PM  
Department stores--even the fancy ones--are in dire straits, because people are no longer willing to shell out money for nothing, and hope is so far away because customers will just skateaway to online retailers

2015-12-30 2:06:21 PM  
(o\_/o) c= = = mlm (;_;) mlm

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