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(Fark)   Fark's 2015 Headline of the Year contest: Sports headlines   (fark.com) divider line
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3421 clicks; posted to Main » and Sports » on 31 Dec 2015 at 11:12 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2015-12-29 12:28:21 PM  
Some of you may have missed yesterday's Headline of the Year contest for the main page, but it's still up and will stay open through midnight New Year's Eve for voting. Here's the link: https://www.fark.com/comments/8977264

Today, we're pushing all the Headline of the Year contests for the subtabs (Sports, Geek, Entertainment, Politics, Business) so keep an eye out for the rest in the next few hours.

Here are your final candidates for Fark's Sports Headline of the Year. These are the top 20 sports headlines as voted, with the top five from each quarter of 2014. Now you get to choose the one you like best. Enjoy.
 
2015-12-29 12:29:07 PM  
Another Cam Newton drive ends in turnover



 
2015-12-29 12:29:11 PM  
Solo asks for charges to be dismissed, claims Greedo shot first



 
2015-12-29 12:29:14 PM  
The last time the state of Mississippi lost this badly in one day, William T. Sherman was involved



 
2015-12-29 12:29:17 PM  
Dallas Cowboys are the most valuable NFL team at $3.2 billion. The New England Patriots are second at $2.6 billion, after adjusting for inflation



 
2015-12-29 12:29:20 PM  
Serena Williams licks Maria Sharapova down under



 
2015-12-29 12:29:23 PM  
FIFA doesn't have enough pressure on Blatter to go



 
2015-12-29 12:29:26 PM  
"A white man allegedly punched former St. Louis Cardinal Curt Ford in the St. Louis area." Well, at least he didn't kick him in the Florida



 
2015-12-29 12:29:29 PM  
Jay Cutler's wife pregnant for third time; Bears fans amazed Jay Cutler can hit any target three times



 
2015-12-29 12:29:32 PM  
Not motivated to jog? A drone can help. Look how it's increased people's average running speed in places like Yemen and Syria



 
2015-12-29 12:29:35 PM  
Seahawks and Russell Wilson reportedly very close on a new contract. On the one yard line, if you will



 
2015-12-29 12:29:38 PM  
Bob Uecker suffers mild concussion after being struck by a ball that was juuuuuust a bit outside during Brewers' batting practice



 
2015-12-29 12:29:42 PM  
The last time America beat Germany this badly, we passed the Marshall Plan to repair the devastation we left behind



 
2015-12-29 12:29:45 PM  
The last time a Chancellor was in this bad of a bargaining position, Valorum lost control of the Senate



 
2015-12-29 12:29:48 PM  
Without any resistance, the Yankees complete their march through Atlanta



 
2015-12-29 12:29:51 PM  
Seven MLB players with a shot to break Barry Bonds' HR record. Wasn't that how Bonds got the record?



 
2015-12-29 12:29:54 PM  
Yogi Berra delivered baseball's most memorable quotes: A record that will stand until broken



 
2015-12-29 12:29:57 PM  
Hope Solo's domestic violence case reinstated in 12 systems



 
2015-12-29 12:30:00 PM  
Olivia Culpo breaks off her relationship with Tim Tebow due to a lack of scoring



 
2015-12-29 12:30:03 PM  
Orioles rookie pitcher helps a fan change a flat tire, goes from Triple-A to AAA



 
2015-12-29 12:30:06 PM  
Tom Brady earning the most rushing yards for Patriots vs Jets sparks the quote of the year. "HE'S LIKE A CHEETAH"



 
2015-12-29 12:33:04 PM  
Yeah, I know that there are three of the "The last time X happened, Y was..." but they all got votes. When a year of headlines gets distilled down to 20, it happens sometimes. For the record, all three are different submitters.
 
2015-12-29 12:34:10 PM  
 
2015-12-29 12:35:40 PM  
Some headlines that didn't quite make the Top 5, but that I liked nonetheless:


♫ Wat-ching Sup-er Bowl from couch ♪
http://www.fark.com/comments/8555625

Thousands pack streets for Patriots victory parade Wednesday. Seattle fans still petitioned to have an end-of-season celebration, but the Seahawks passed
http://www.fark.com/comments/8586281

Baltimore Ravens security director charged with sexual offense, which may be the first time anyone has accused the Ravens of having an offense these days
http://www.fark.com/comments/8542471

Kurt Busch ordered to stay away from ex-girlfriend. As long as she's at the front of the pack, he won't violate the restraining order
http://www.fark.com/comments/8601442

Denver Broncos fans offer their condolences to the family of ex-Defensive Coordinator Jack Del Rio, upon his tragic selection as Head Coach of the Oakland Raiders
http://www.fark.com/comments/8560754

Foxboro's hottest new club is called "Optum". Opened in 2015 by serial comedian John Wayne Brady and located in former season ticket holders' seats, this place has everything: high rollers, human jellyfish, Furkles and a midget Offensive Coordinator
http://www.fark.com/comments/8511722

Peyton Manning and the Denver Broncos meet, but nothing happens. So, just like the playoffs
http://www.fark.com/comments/8597444

Love's labrum lost for the season
http://www.fark.com/comments/8689396

Tiger Woods plays 18 hole practice round at Augusta, sparking speculation that he may play in the Masters where he'll be able to get in 36 holes before leaving
http://www.fark.com/comments/8658303

Hampton basketball coach calls Jesus for advice on playing Kentucky in the first round. Jesus: "Sorry man, I'm about to drive into a tunnel..."
http://www.fark.com/comments/8640544

Nick Saban claims to have caught a six-foot long, 180 lb. fish, though the NCAA is investigating allegations that the fish's family may have been offered cash and real estate to convince the fish to jump into Saban's boat
http://www.fark.com/comments/8721031

Lakers' Byron Scott says he wouldn't want some of his team members in a foxhole with him because they would "shoot him in the back." With a 20-58 record, the odds of hitting him are pretty slim
http://www.fark.com/comments/8666719

The Patriots have declined to pick up the option on Vince Wilfork, thus creating two open roster spots
http://www.fark.com/comments/8622479

There is a 141 2/3% chance that Scott Steiner was banned from the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony on Saturday
http://www.fark.com/comments/8654207

The Cleveland Browns have discussed signing Ray Rice, so they can have at least one person that can beat somebody
http://www.fark.com/comments/8815335

NFL draft will be held in Chicago for the 2nd year in a row; prompting speculation that maybe Chicago will eventually get an NFL team
http://www.fark.com/comments/8815117

Yankees embarrass the king. This is not a repeat from 1783
http://www.fark.com/comments/8729171

Fox Sports suspends Donovan McNabb "indefinitely" after he rear-ended a car at a stoplight while driving intoxicated. Former colleagues expressed astonishment that McNabb did not somehow manage to stop the car 3-4 yards short of the collision
http://www.fark.com/comments/8821665

Sepp Blatter has denied saying he will resign as FIFA president and will be making a statement from outside his new mansion in Qatar shortly
http://www.fark.com/comments/8758507

WSoP Ji?
http://www.fark.com/comments/8762636

Romero to return to PGA after hand injury. The PGA is golf's governing body. Golf is a game where you hit a small white balata ball into 18 consecutive holes, using as few strokes as possible. Balata is a form of latex harvested from rubber trees
http://www.fark.com/comments/8874862

ESPN to cut 350 jobs, reduce Sportscenter to 23.5 hours per day
http://www.fark.com/comments/8899554

Arrest records of Detroit Lions new OC Jim Bob Cooter have mysteriously vanished. Team claims disappearance on the fact that in the southern states "Jim Bob Cooter" is pretty much the equivalent of "John Doe"
http://www.fark.com/comments/8913409

Lewis Hamilton wins Italian Grand Prix amidst tire pressure controversy. Roger Goodell imposes four-game suspension on Tom Brady
http://www.fark.com/comments/8847004

In golf news, Bae begins 21-month mandatory military service. Yaaaaas. Korean military service is on fleek, son. Basic as hell. Totes not random. Bye Felicia
http://www.fark.com/comments/8932273

The Miami Hurricanes have officially been downgraded to a Tropical Depression
http://www.fark.com/comments/8904284

CC goes to AA
http://www.fark.com/comments/8881016

Illegal use of fuzzy math by the St. Louis city council. Explanation is declined, Taxpayers will be charged an additional quarter-billion dollars for a stadium. Repeat third down
http://www.fark.com/comments/8883827

Cincinnati Bengals owner says he 'regrets' Carson Palmer leaving the team on bad terms. Although it was preferable to the way other players depart - in handcuffs and leg irons
http://www.fark.com/comments/8933215

Tiger Woods makes four straight birdies in the second round of the Quicken Loans National tournament. It's first time this year he's had four straight birdies on a course that didn't include the holes "Windmill" and "Clown's mouth"
http://www.fark.com/comments/8802143
 
2015-12-29 12:45:32 PM  

Unfreakable: Yeah, I know that there are three of the "The last time X happened, Y was..." but they all got votes. When a year of headlines gets distilled down to 20, it happens sometimes. For the record, all three are different submitters.


The last time someone submitted a headline with that formula, it was nominated for headline of the year.
 
2015-12-29 12:51:01 PM  
So much win in this year's Sports HOTY.
 
2015-12-29 12:51:16 PM  
Meh
 
2015-12-29 12:52:35 PM  
It was an honor just to be nominated
 
2015-12-29 1:05:22 PM  

tommyl66: It was an honor just to be nominated


Likewise.

First time I ever got a nomination.
 
2015-12-29 1:12:34 PM  
Yay! I have a finalist this year again!
 
2015-12-29 1:20:07 PM  
How do I read fark daily and not recognize any of these headlines ?
Also we have almost a week left,  giving up early ?
 
2015-12-29 1:20:19 PM  
Hey guys, has anybody noticed that Hope Solo has the same last name as a Star Wars character? I'll bet you can get some headline mileage out of that.
 
2015-12-29 1:25:04 PM  

Unfreakable: Yeah, I know that there are three of the "The last time X happened, Y was..." but they all got votes. When a year of headlines gets distilled down to 20, it happens sometimes. For the record, all three are different submitters.


Who cares if they're formulaic? Virtually everything adheres to some prototype of one kind or another. What matters is taking that pattern and making the outcome of it funny.
 
2015-12-29 1:33:27 PM  

mudpants: How do I read fark daily and not recognize any of these headlines ?
Also we have almost a week left,  giving up early ?


1) These were from the Sports tab, so if you don't go there often, it might be easy to miss some of these
2) A few years ago we decided to change the contest to run Dec-Nov so that we could finish the contest before the end of the year without screwing submitters who delivered good headlines in December


Serious Black: Who cares if they're formulaic? Virtually everything adheres to some prototype of one kind or another. What matters is taking that pattern and making the outcome of it funny.


I didn't mind them at all, I was trying to head off people complaining that they saw 3 variations of the same structure in only 20 entries.
 
2015-12-29 1:40:08 PM  
I don't read the sports tab 'cause it generally covers games. foot - basket - base - golf is games.  motorsports is a sport
 
2015-12-29 2:59:05 PM  

Unfreakable: Yeah, I know that there are three of the "The last time X happened, Y was..." but they all got votes. When a year of headlines gets distilled down to 20, it happens sometimes. For the record, all three are different submitters.


At least now we know one of the secrets to getting an insta-green.
 
2015-12-29 3:36:25 PM  

Unfreakable: Denver Broncos fans offer their condolences to the family of ex-Defensive Coordinator Jack Del Rio, upon his tragic selection as Head Coach of the Oakland Raiders
http://www.fark.com/comments/8560754


Aw, dammit! That one was mine! :-(
 
2015-12-29 4:53:25 PM  

Captain Steroid: Unfreakable: Denver Broncos fans offer their condolences to the family of ex-Defensive Coordinator Jack Del Rio, upon his tragic selection as Head Coach of the Oakland Raiders
http://www.fark.com/comments/8560754

Aw, dammit! That one was mine! :-(


Does it make you feel any better that I really actually laughed out loud at that one? Great misdirect.


Unfreakable: Yeah, I know that there are three of the "The last time X happened, Y was..." but they all got votes. When a year of headlines gets distilled down to 20, it happens sometimes. For the record, all three are different submitters.


This cracks me up because there's one guy in our football threads who really excels at those jokes. I thought they were all him.


Also, I'd just like to note that "Ask not for whom the Bell tolls, it tolls for knee" was one vote away from making the Finals. I think it could've had a shot at the title. So basically what I'm saying is, vote you fools. But only for my favorite, one, ok? OK good job, everyone!
 
2015-12-29 6:00:58 PM  

Di Atribe: Captain Steroid: Unfreakable: Denver Broncos fans offer their condolences to the family of ex-Defensive Coordinator Jack Del Rio, upon his tragic selection as Head Coach of the Oakland Raiders
http://www.fark.com/comments/8560754

Aw, dammit! That one was mine! :-(

Does it make you feel any better that I really actually laughed out loud at that one? Great misdirect.


Yes, it does. Thank you. ^_^
 
2015-12-29 7:11:39 PM  
This proves to me that hockey farkers need to improve their game next year. Even formula 1 got a HOTY almost ran. Chop chop, hockey watchers! Drunk headlines are best headlines.
 
2015-12-29 7:19:33 PM  

soopey: This proves to me that hockey farkers need to improve their game next year. Even formula 1 got a HOTY almost ran. Chop chop, hockey watchers! Drunk headlines are best headlines.


Agreed. There was a sad dearth of hockey headlines this year. I hope that changes in 2016
 
2015-12-29 11:18:12 PM  

soopey: This proves to me that hockey farkers need to improve their game next year. Even formula 1 got a HOTY almost ran. Chop chop, hockey watchers! Drunk headlines are best headlines.


I tried, but the best I could do looks like:

"Alcohol was involved", an arrest, and a hockey player and this story isn't about Patrick Kane?
 
2015-12-30 12:36:24 AM  

Di Atribe: Captain Steroid: Unfreakable: Denver Broncos fans offer their condolences to the family of ex-Defensive Coordinator Jack Del Rio, upon his tragic selection as Head Coach of the Oakland Raiders
http://www.fark.com/comments/8560754

Aw, dammit! That one was mine! :-(

Does it make you feel any better that I really actually laughed out loud at that one? Great misdirect.


Unfreakable: Yeah, I know that there are three of the "The last time X happened, Y was..." but they all got votes. When a year of headlines gets distilled down to 20, it happens sometimes. For the record, all three are different submitters.

This cracks me up because there's one guy in our football threads who really excels at those jokes. I thought they were all him.



If you mean me, no, the one I have in the running is not a Dennis Miler headline.

And my "best of the rest were the one about Kurt Busch and his girlfriend, ESPN cutting 300 jobs and Sportcenter to 23.5 hours per day, and the Ravens having no offense.
 
2015-12-30 2:12:55 AM  
Arg, I really thought my "wat-ching super bowl from couch" would make it.  :(

*grabs vodka*


/here's to you, finalist subbies!
//good stuff all around
 
2015-12-30 2:15:15 AM  
Still, gotta be happy with an honorable mention; same goes for my "STL fuzzy math" entry, and the Scott Steiner headline from the FWC.  :D
 
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