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(Fark)   Fark's 2015 HEADLINE OF THE YEAR contest   (fark.com) divider line
    More: HOTY, pun/wordplay headline contest, Cascading Style Sheets, platinum selling albums, hilarious submitters, sickly complexion, amazing submitters, browser cache, style sheet, Contests  
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6793 clicks; posted to Main » and FarkUs » on 31 Dec 2015 at 11:12 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2015-12-28 1:50:24 PM  
Welcome to Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2015! Most of you already know what to do, but for those of you that are new, every year we celebrate the awesome, hilarious submitters that give us so much entertainment every year.

There are several contests. This is for the main page, but there are also contests for the major subtabs: Sports, Geek, Entertainment, Politics, and Business (those will all be held tomorrow). In addition, I also like to have two more contests: one for context headlines (headlines which require clicking through to really get the joke) and the pun/wordplay headlines. Although many of the best headlines typically have elements of wordplay and even some pun elements, there are so many good ones that they deserve their own contest. The context contest and the pun/wordplay headline contest will both be coming Wednesday.

Like I say every year, voting for these is fun, but the credit should go to all of the amazing submitters that make us laugh each and every day. Your headlines make Fark what it is. Thank you and kudos.

Okay, enough with the talk. Without further ado, this is your 2015 Headline of the Year contest.
 
2015-12-28 1:51:21 PM  
Hilton to stop offering pornographic films. We'll always have Paris



 
2015-12-28 1:51:24 PM  
Casey Kasem buried in Norway, home of the top fjordy spots across the land



 
2015-12-28 1:51:27 PM  
40,000 pounds of salsa spill on I-10 near Cabazon, CA. CHiPs respond



 
2015-12-28 1:51:30 PM  
ime travel. Quantum experiment proves t



 
2015-12-28 1:51:33 PM  
Police looking for 20-year-old man described as short, balding, lisping, with a sickly complexion and a mental deficiency. Unclear if they want to arrest him or just insult him further



 
2015-12-28 1:51:36 PM  
ISIS "emir of suicide bombings" killed in airstrike. Was identified by parts of emir, and parts of emir, and parts of emir



 
2015-12-28 1:51:39 PM  
Italian tourist killed by glacier in Alaska. How slow was that guy?



 
2015-12-28 1:51:42 PM  
Ohio man charged with trying to help the Islamic State, or as they say in Ohio, THE Islamic State



 
2015-12-28 1:51:45 PM  
Sea plane. Sea plane crash. Crash, plane, crash



 
2015-12-28 1:51:49 PM  
A man named Burger is marrying a woman named King. No word on if the couple is waiting for their wedding night before having some In-N-Out



 
2015-12-28 1:51:52 PM  
Human torso found during investigation of severed limbs. Police say they are unconnected



 
2015-12-28 1:51:55 PM  
Maryland mansion fire that killed six in February ruled accidental according to THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE, THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE



 
2015-12-28 1:51:58 PM  
CDC reports gonorrhea rates have declined for the first time in 30 years. Slow clap



 
2015-12-28 1:52:01 PM  
Anonymous hacktivists are planning to reveal the identities of 1,000 members of the Ku Klux Klan including the dyslexic one who hates gingers



 
2015-12-28 1:52:04 PM  
Town in Galicia celebrates 'Clitoris Festival,' confusing many men who don't know where Galicia is, either



 
2015-12-28 1:52:07 PM  
Dead crows litter streets of Spokane. Officials try to determine if it was a murder



 
2015-12-28 1:52:10 PM  
Wrecka mecca crane, make a giant hole



 
2015-12-28 1:52:14 PM  
The band played The Twist - I twisted. The band played Jump - I jumped. Then the band played Come On Eileen



 
2015-12-28 1:52:17 PM  
Pig terrorizes town and craps in squad car, expected to be suspended two weeks with pay



 
2015-12-28 1:52:20 PM  
Woman complains to police that a man in a BMW was naked from the waist down. Police tell her that if they had to investigate every dick in a BMW, they'd never have time to do any other police work



 
2015-12-28 1:57:26 PM  
 
2015-12-28 2:03:22 PM  
OK I voted. I was kind of annoyed that I had to show my birth certificate first though.
 
2015-12-28 2:04:02 PM  
WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT US?!?!?!?!?!?!
 
2015-12-28 2:10:53 PM  

ChipNASA: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT US?!?!?!?!?!?!


WHAT???
 
2015-12-28 2:14:21 PM  
There are some very funny entries here. But I had to vote for several, because not one of them jumps out as the clear winner.
 
2015-12-28 2:14:49 PM  
And here are a few headlines that I personally liked that didn't quite get enough votes, but that I wanted to share:


Man enduring middle school Christmas concert has what should be a fatal heart attack, but fellow concertgoers armed with defibrillator refuse to let him take the easy way out
http://www.fark.com/comments/8537022

Boston will dump excess snow into harbor. Because that's their solution to everything
http://www.fark.com/comments/8592904

Doe, a deer, a wounded deer; Ray, a hunter with a bow; Me, the guy who found the link; Far, the distance to a doc; So, now karma got its wish; Laugh, I hope you will with me; Tee-he-e-e-e-e-e; Dad, the one who was attacked; which brings us back to DOH
http://www.fark.com/comments/8547867

Fifteen year-old shoots and kills thirteen year-old brother in ultra-realistic game of cops and robbers, walks away without being charged. He must have been playing as the cop
http://www.fark.com/comments/8574330

Woman with kangaroo service animal asked to leave McDonald's. She'd probably have better luck at IHOP
http://www.fark.com/comments/8584668

In the Justin Bieber shoot Calvin Klein made the dick look bigger. They also enlarged his groin
http://www.fark.com/comments/8553359

Detroit woman charged with murder after beating friend to death with crockpot. Police say the two were arguing politics when it uncovered a long-simmering beef
http://www.fark.com/comments/8587832

ISIS in Yarmouk near Damascus. Picard confused
http://www.fark.com/comments/8657197

Stunt man runs 645 feet while on fire, breaking record previously held by Richard Pryor
http://www.fark.com/comments/8645792

Han solo he hit the ground
http://www.fark.com/comments/8623123

Entire town learns sign language to surprise deaf man. Deaf man angry he can no longer call everyone assholes without them knowing
http://www.fark.com/comments/8627934

Julius Caesar may have suffered mini strokes, not epilepsy. Conclusion based on accounts of his final symptoms being a series of stabbing pains
http://www.fark.com/comments/8676653

Police have been called after a senior British Parliamentarian was pictured snorting cocaine with two prostitutes and pleasuring himself. Authorities have confirmed he is a high wanking official
http://www.fark.com/comments/8795013

Jared Fogle pleads guilty to getting into smaller pants
http://www.fark.com/comments/8823704

Veterinarian finds 62 hair bands inside dog during surgery. Tour schedules updated
http://www.fark.com/comments/8775163

Pope apologizes for the Catholic persecution of the Waldesians, which long-ago forced their founder, Waldo, into hiding
http://www.fark.com/comments/8752990

LAPD to start wearing body cams on Monday. But what they really want to do is direct
http://www.fark.com/comments/8834828

Dennis Miller arrested for assault and endangerment after an investigation that was tougher than reading "The Tin Drum" in Icelandic to an arena of Justin Bieber fans with ADD
http://www.fark.com/comments/8769531

Best Korea could become a surfing destination. Kim plans to hang 10
http://www.fark.com/comments/8796924

"Amateur porn is a case of class struggle." You're only off by two letters
http://www.fark.com/comments/8731719

Lee Harvey Oswald's gravestone returned to Texas, will be placed back...and to the left
http://www.fark.com/comments/8816844

Surfer breaks neck in four places. Dude, why did you even go to the other three?
http://www.fark.com/comments/8850547

Australian scientists grow mini human kidneys. England says it doesn't yet have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool
http://www.fark.com/comments/8884678

"Family: Bambi the dog races back into burning home for man, 69." To clarify, that's an age
http://www.fark.com/comments/8899266

Briton smashes record for longest continuous ironing session by a man. That must have been four minutes of pure hell
http://www.fark.com/comments/8912648

Massive 500,000 lb boulder threatening to fall on several structures at the base of a dam in Arizona. Engineers recommend the best way to stop it from falling is to declare the whole area a Road Runner sanctuary
http://www.fark.com/comments/8845767
 
2015-12-28 2:15:04 PM  

ChipNASA: WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT US?!?!?!?!?!?!


Use your inside voice, please...
 
2015-12-28 2:24:13 PM  
I submitted better headlines than all of these.
 
2015-12-28 2:24:13 PM  
To the Submitters, I salute every one of you magnificent bastards.
 
2015-12-28 2:25:05 PM  
I have voted...and there were about seven that really made me laugh.
 
2015-12-28 2:25:52 PM  
Since the Maryland Mansion headline was stolen from my HOTY 2011 nominee, can I expect to receive 50% of the winnings?

http://www.fark.com/comments/6048973/Maryland-Mansion-destroyed-in-fi​r​e-still-plans-to-release-new-album-tour-later-this-year
 
2015-12-28 2:27:48 PM  

tnpir: To the Submitters, I salute every one of you magnificent bastards.


Thank you. We keel you.
 
2015-12-28 2:35:47 PM  

MagicBus: Since the Maryland Mansion headline was stolen from my HOTY 2011 nominee, can I expect to receive 50% of the winnings?

http://www.fark.com/comments/6048973/Maryland-Mansion-destroyed-in-fir​e-still-plans-to-release-new-album-tour-later-this-year


I didn't steal shiat.
 
2015-12-28 2:42:28 PM  
okay these are good but pale in comparison to previous years
 
2015-12-28 2:49:18 PM  
Ohio man charged with trying to help THE Islamic State

would have been perfect.

/voted for it anyway
//broke tradition and voted for 3 equally good
 
2015-12-28 2:49:35 PM  
Are there two contests? Or is the mobile site fuxored again?
 
2015-12-28 2:50:56 PM  

HawgWild: There are some very funny entries here. But I had to vote for several, because not one of them jumps out as the clear winner.


Seconded.
 
2015-12-28 2:52:34 PM  

doofusss: okay these are good but pale in comparison to previous years


A lot of people think that the same year, but remember them more fondly as the years go on. Kinda like most things I suppose.
 
2015-12-28 3:12:19 PM  

HMS_Blinkin: THE Islamic State kills me every time.


There's a pretty limited audience for that joke.
 
2015-12-28 3:14:16 PM  

Russ1642: HMS_Blinkin: THE Islamic State kills me every time.

There's a pretty limited audience for that joke.


Calling the good people of Ohio "limited" is a little mean.
 
2015-12-28 3:16:42 PM  
Only a bridesmaid this year, but I appreciate the 2 honorable mentions.  That said, I was completely outgunned.  Lots of headlines this year I'd be happy with being crowned Farkscoming Queen.

Unfreakable, you magnificent bastard.
 
2015-12-28 3:32:13 PM  

Unfreakable: And here are a few headlines that I personally liked that didn't quite get enough votes, but that I wanted to share:


Man enduring middle school Christmas concert has what should be a fatal heart attack, but fellow concertgoers armed with defibrillator refuse to let him take the easy way out
http://www.fark.com/comments/8537022

Boston will dump excess snow into harbor. Because that's their solution to everything
http://www.fark.com/comments/8592904

Doe, a deer, a wounded deer; Ray, a hunter with a bow; Me, the guy who found the link; Far, the distance to a doc; So, now karma got its wish; Laugh, I hope you will with me; Tee-he-e-e-e-e-e; Dad, the one who was attacked; which brings us back to DOH
http://www.fark.com/comments/8547867

Fifteen year-old shoots and kills thirteen year-old brother in ultra-realistic game of cops and robbers, walks away without being charged. He must have been playing as the cop
http://www.fark.com/comments/8574330

Woman with kangaroo service animal asked to leave McDonald's. She'd probably have better luck at IHOP
http://www.fark.com/comments/8584668

In the Justin Bieber shoot Calvin Klein made the dick look bigger. They also enlarged his groin
http://www.fark.com/comments/8553359

Detroit woman charged with murder after beating friend to death with crockpot. Police say the two were arguing politics when it uncovered a long-simmering beef
http://www.fark.com/comments/8587832

ISIS in Yarmouk near Damascus. Picard confused
http://www.fark.com/comments/8657197

Stunt man runs 645 feet while on fire, breaking record previously held by Richard Pryor
http://www.fark.com/comments/8645792

Han solo he hit the ground
http://www.fark.com/comments/8623123

Entire town learns sign language to surprise deaf man. Deaf man angry he can no longer call everyone assholes without them knowing
http://www.fark.com/comments/8627934

Julius Caesar may have suffered mini strokes, not epilepsy. Conclusion based on accounts of his final symptoms being a series of stabbing pains
http://www.fark.com/comments/8676653

Police have been called after a senior British Parliamentarian was pictured snorting cocaine with two prostitutes and pleasuring himself. Authorities have confirmed he is a high wanking official
http://www.fark.com/comments/8795013

Jared Fogle pleads guilty to getting into smaller pants
http://www.fark.com/comments/8823704

Veterinarian finds 62 hair bands inside dog during surgery. Tour schedules updated
http://www.fark.com/comments/8775163

Pope apologizes for the Catholic persecution of the Waldesians, which long-ago forced their founder, Waldo, into hiding
http://www.fark.com/comments/8752990

LAPD to start wearing body cams on Monday. But what they really want to do is direct
http://www.fark.com/comments/8834828

Dennis Miller arrested for assault and endangerment after an investigation that was tougher than reading "The Tin Drum" in Icelandic to an arena of Justin Bieber fans with ADD
http://www.fark.com/comments/8769531

Best Korea could become a surfing destination. Kim plans to hang 10
http://www.fark.com/comments/8796924

"Amateur porn is a case of class struggle." You're only off by two letters
http://www.fark.com/comments/8731719

Lee Harvey Oswald's gravestone returned to Texas, will be placed back...and to the left
http://www.fark.com/comments/8816844

Surfer breaks neck in four places. Dude, why did you even go to the other three?
http://www.fark.com/comments/8850547

Australian scientists grow mini human kidneys. England says it doesn't yet have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool
http://www.fark.com/comments/8884678

"Family: Bambi the dog races back into burning home for man, 69." To clarify, that's an age
http://www.fark.com/comments/8899266

Briton smashes record for longest continuous ironing session by a man. That must have been four minutes of pure hell
http://www.fark.com/comments/8912648

Massive 500,000 lb boulder threatening to fall on several structures at the base of a dam in Arizona. Engineers recommend the best way to stop it from falling is to declare the whole area a Road Runner sanctuary
http://www.fark.com/comments/8845767


You have excellent taste in headlines :-) I liked some of those better than the finalists.
 
2015-12-28 3:33:14 PM  
there are some decent ones here. hmmmmmm.
 
2015-12-28 3:34:06 PM  
Well done Subby's!
 
2015-12-28 3:38:10 PM  
These are beautiful. Thanks to all of you guys making this place so damn funny all the time.
 
2015-12-28 3:39:11 PM  
I don't care what anyone says, the magnificence of some of this year's bastards is to be lauded.
 
2015-12-28 3:42:17 PM  
What about late entries? 2015 ain't over yet, and a real gem popped up in the Politics tab today.
 
2015-12-28 3:43:24 PM  

COMALite J: What about late entries? 2015 ain't over yet, and a real gem popped up in the Politics tab today.


They're eligible for 2016.
 
2015-12-28 3:46:27 PM  

Poopspasm: These are beautiful. Thanks to all of you guys making this place so damn funny all the time.


My feelings exactly.
That includes all submitters (greened or with better headlines) and all you commenters.
Being up to date on news* while enjoying a good laugh with a side of jaded sarcasm what's not to like?
The extremely intelligent comment here and there still takes me by surprise.


(*the funniest was when I got major LOCAL news on Fark before I heard it on the local regular channels!)

/wishing you all an even better 2016
 
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