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(   Couple's plan to kill possum with gasoline backfires when flaming possum chases down, burns woman   ( divider line
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4893 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Dec 2001 at 2:18 PM (18 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook

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2001-12-24 2:21:46 PM  
Is Florida full of dumbasses or what?

-he who stacks pork
2001-12-24 2:22:46 PM  
The "almost Darwin" award...
2001-12-24 2:25:40 PM  
wtf come on ppl get with the farking show you dont lite animals on fire, jesus farking christ, hope her leg is farked up
2001-12-24 2:29:26 PM  
got what she deserved, i reckon
2001-12-24 2:32:45 PM  
Watch Local 6 News for the latest.

Oh boy can't wait for that!
2001-12-24 2:34:51 PM  
I remember one summer I was driving thru Florida. Round Wasau if anyone has ever seen that podunk, coincidentally the Possum Capital of the World and home to the annual possum festival. North of Panama City for you city folk. and I saw a 400lb plus man topless wearing 80's running shorts (too short) standing in front of a flaming 50 gallon drum pouring gasoline (or somethign that flared violently from a red gas container) into it and backing away flab reeling from the sudden movement with a huge grin on his face. He repeated this process 3 times as I drove past. So to answer your question leopold yes it is.
2001-12-24 2:36:25 PM  
hope she burned her possum pouch
2001-12-24 2:37:38 PM  
what is the difference between a opossum and a possum?
2001-12-24 2:39:52 PM  
Horrifying what they did to the animal. Those idiots set back the mass collective IQ of Florida by several points.
2001-12-24 2:46:53 PM  
Scofield99: Opossum is the correct word for the nasty little marsupial. People just never pronounce the first "O" and thus everyone calls it a 'possum.

Ouroborus condemns the lighting animals on fire. We should light these idiots on fire and see how they like it.
2001-12-24 2:48:17 PM  
possums are not to be farked with...the ones we have in Cincitsnasti will hotwire your car and sell it to a chop shop.
2001-12-24 2:48:32 PM  
Me fail English? That's unpossible.
2001-12-24 2:50:43 PM  
nice refrence, Ouroborus
2001-12-24 2:51:21 PM  
Just for you Scofield99

pos·sum (psm)
n. Chiefly Southern U.S.
An opossum.

----------------------------------------------------------------------​-------- --
[Short for opossum.]
Regional Note: Since English is a language that stresses some syllables and not others, weakly stressed syllables, especially those preceding strong stresses, are dropped at times. This process, called aphesis when it occurs at the beginning of a word, is more common in regional American dialects than in the more conservative Standard English, which tends to retain in pronunciation anything reflected in spelling. Although many American dialects feature aphesis, it is most famous in the dialects of the South, where it yields pronunciations such as count of for (on) account of, tater for potato, possum for opossum, and skeeter for mosquito.
2001-12-24 3:03:05 PM  
this is pretty farked up...someone should've cracked it in the head with a put it out of it's misery...the woman, I mean
2001-12-24 3:06:07 PM  
For the longest time (growing up mostly in the southeast) I thought that possums were not a part of the animal species. Imperical evidence suggested they were a type of fungus that growed in asfault or other highway material. They were spread by passing tires till they reached maturity then they were feasted on my buzzards and other carrion feeders presumably the spores survied digestion to be excreated on the same highways and mature into yet annother possum patch. It was not until that one year when I visited Wassau FL that I first saw one live (at the possum races. rumor has it the losers were sent to the possum stew compitition to try their luck there) at the annual possum festival. They sold Possum Jack shirts back when pamama jack was all the rage, I still have one somewheres I think, one of the coolest shirts i ever owned. (okay I don't get cool shirts normally) INcidentally they also crowned a king and queen possum that observers still debate as to whether or not they were crowned based on beauty (in short supply in wassau) or on their resemblance to the beast for which the festival was held to honor.
2001-12-24 3:14:14 PM  
Why "almost" a Darwin?
2001-12-24 3:17:05 PM  

Ahem, memememe...

possums running round on fire,
First degree burns on your toes,
Though it's been said,
mainy times, many ways
You're FARKWITs, you two!
2001-12-24 3:21:59 PM  
calling PETA.....
2001-12-24 3:24:34 PM  
"Almost", because the Darwin award goes to stupid people who manage to kill themselves (IE: spare the gene pool).

Setting animals on fire??? WTF IS GOING ON??? These ppl need to be in jail, or better yet, Hell! This is farked up! Opossums are nasty, nasty creatures, to be sure. You shoot 'em, not set 'em on fire.

Damn it.
2001-12-24 3:29:56 PM  
Classic! What a couple of farking morons. She must of been tired of sharing her dinner with the opposum. Ya got what you desereved ya one toothed, big haired, flying burnt-up opposum eater!
2001-12-24 3:30:47 PM  
I once watched a cat and a possum get into a fight, the cat got his ass kicked.
2001-12-24 3:36:45 PM  
It would have been easier and safer to just shoot em like they were prarie dogs
2001-12-24 3:38:57 PM  
does anyone know where we can get a copy of the 911 call? that has to be classic!
2001-12-24 3:48:28 PM  
Great, now I'm gonna have that damn Phish song in my head...

"I was ridin' down the road one day, someone lit a possum..."
2001-12-24 3:55:50 PM  
couldnt you just use a broom too scare the opossum out of your yard? this lady deserved everything she got.
2001-12-24 4:07:14 PM  
I just want to walk up to the burnt lady and say,
"How wold you like to get burned with lit gaso... oh wait, nevermind."
2001-12-24 4:17:02 PM  
That's 'possum ROCKS! I can just imagine the flaming 'possum clinging to that woman's leg.

BTW - what a great band name "the flaming possums"...kinda like "the flying beavers"
2001-12-24 4:21:57 PM  
Yay! Another Farked up Florida story!Our fine state has been doing good this year with the odd news stories...Merry Christmas to all Farkers..Rich and Jan,Tampa
2001-12-24 4:22:55 PM  
Oh.yeah..Go Bucs!!!
2001-12-24 4:29:08 PM  
One of the most disturbing images of my childhood was seeing a goop-covered 'possum emerge from the carcass of a cow.
One of the most exciting experiences of my teen years was measuring up to the challenge of killing a pair of fornicating 'possums with one .22 shot. The bonus, the absolute reward of that accomplishment was the discovery, upon separating the corpses, that the 'possum penis is forked!
I have yet to have a worthwhile 'possum experience in adulthood.
2001-12-24 4:33:05 PM  
"...goop covered possom...."

I like that, does that make me sick?
2001-12-24 4:34:25 PM  
that rocks, did the possum actually die?
2001-12-24 4:40:08 PM  
They should have a 'possum character in the NBA Jam (hangtime, maximum hangtime) series.

2001-12-24 4:41:54 PM  
2001-12-24 4:42:59 PM  
Bong123: Sure you can light them on fire. They just have to be nailed down first.
2001-12-24 4:48:37 PM  
2001-12-24 4:49:37 PM  
The 'possum did die. With a hard-on: a shiny, red, double pointy-headed hard-on. And his wife? Whose vagina could only be imagined? Dead.
Whatta way to go!
2001-12-24 6:05:50 PM  
There's one of these things living in the bushes outside my apartment (or it was just passing through). Looks like a gigantic evil mutant rat. It's one of the ugliest animals I've ever seen, and I hope it eats one of these cats wandering around here.
2001-12-24 7:09:12 PM  
my dog caught a possum in the back yard a couple of weeks ago; they're living under my shed and won't eat the gopher poison I put out. my dog shook the heck out of of that possum but dropped it when I hit her(my dog) in the butt with a rock. I put that possum in a bag 'cause I wanted to skin it in the mornin' but it was gone. the possum was playing possum.
2001-12-24 7:39:40 PM  
What kind of jackass pours gasoline on something to kill it? Did he think it would just keel over and die? Did he think it would stand quietly while he leaned over with his Bic and set it on fire? What an idiot. I hope the local SPCA puts his arse in a sling and gets him charged with animal abuse.
2001-12-24 7:48:10 PM  
'Looks like a gigantic evil mutant rat'- This is true. I was sitting in my living room late one evening, when I seen 2 eyes piercing at me through the sliding glass door to the back porch. Anyways, I went up to the window and looked at this thing face to face, it was hideous, and the thing didn't even flinch. I just closed the blinds, and went back to farking.
2001-12-24 8:01:03 PM  

1 Live Possum
1 & 1/2 tablespoons black pepper
2 teaspoons salt
2 tablespoons cayenne pepper sauce
2 tablespoons Tabasco pepper sauce
2 12 ounce beers
12 new potatoes washed and cut in half
6 carrots cut into quarters
6 jalapeno peppers cut in half lengthwise

Ignite Possum

Rub the Possum with the salt and black pepper and place in a deep outdoor cooking pit.

Mix the beer, cayenne, and Tabasco pepper sauce.

Pour the beer mixture over the rump roast and into the baking pan.

Place the potatoes, carrots, and jalapeno peppers around the flaming possum.

Cover and retreat to minimum safe distance.


2001-12-24 8:09:33 PM  
That was a scary story, and you are very brave.
2001-12-24 8:13:04 PM  
"I went up to the window and looked at this thing face to face, it was hideous, and the thing didn't even flinch"

I think they don't have eyelids.. or something. Possoms are farked up somehow, but I can't remember.
2001-12-24 8:24:57 PM  
"When surprised by a hunter, an opossum falls into a state of shock and paralysis and appears to be dead. It is fear, not intelligence, that gives it this trick of "playing opossum" -Connie Vesely
2001-12-24 8:26:02 PM  
"Police responded to a call from an unidentified man, who lives at 924 Berkshire Road,"

It'd be real hard to figure out who that guy is.....
2001-12-24 8:47:37 PM  
KerryKlu, Hytes Xiam try going out on the backporch and finding one in the cat food bowl - which is on a table about waist high and two feet from the doorway. they not only don't flinch but apparently don't like being disturbed when they eat. never knew they hissed before that encounter.
2001-12-24 9:12:00 PM  
I hate opposums as much as the next person.. They're nasty, nasty creatures.. But setting one on fire? That's as marginally effective and cruel as an electric chair.
2001-12-24 9:47:58 PM  
No kiddin' Curious!
I had this possum walk right past me while i was on the computer, cruise up the hallway and go into my kitchen and start chowing on the cat food. I heard it chewing and thought "My cat's have never made that much noise eating!" I walked on this ugly thing, it hissed at me and I tried to shoo it out the way it came, but it trapped itself behind my washer. I just left open a couple of doors and it eventually left.

Two nights later, same thing. Walked right past me, this time I saw it and it was followed by a cute littly baby (yeah, they're cute when they're small). My cats didn''t care they just looked on, kinda bored.

I bought a huge bag of generic dog food and used to leave it out for them so they'd not come in my house and that did the trick.
I've got pictures of them somewhere.
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