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(LA Times)   Jack Yufe just died at age 82. He had an identical twin who was like him in almost every single way right down to the peculiar way they flushed the toilet with one small exception: he was a Jew and his twin was a Kraut in the Hitler Youth   (latimes.com) divider line
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7329 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Nov 2015 at 3:51 AM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2015-11-13 3:02:54 AM  
Worst. Sitcom. Ever.
 
2015-11-13 3:51:43 AM  
Though remembering his brother was a Jew each Thanksgiving made him a sour Kraut.
 
2015-11-13 3:59:17 AM  
How many ways are there to flush a toilet...?
 
2015-11-13 3:59:50 AM  
This must have made the "hide and seek" competition in the attic a little uncomfortable...  Hopefully they worked things out before they set out for their Pacific vacation...
 
2015-11-13 4:02:28 AM  

Mugato: Worst. Sitcom. Ever.


Yeah, that sounds like a bad episode of Hogan's Heroes...
 
2015-11-13 4:03:39 AM  
Could you be anything else in the Hitler Youth?
 
2015-11-13 4:12:18 AM  
One was a Nazi, the other was religious. So, both were really easy to brainwash? I'm not spotting the difference here.
 
2015-11-13 4:14:51 AM  

Massively Multiplayer Addict: How many ways are there to flush a toilet...?


All these years I've been flushing after I do my business.
 
2015-11-13 4:15:53 AM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size

Two Yufes?
 
2015-11-13 4:17:11 AM  

koder: Though remembering his brother was a Jew each Thanksgiving made him a sour Kraut.


Germans don't have Thanksgiving.
 
2015-11-13 4:18:22 AM  

DemonEater: koder: Though remembering his brother was a Jew each Thanksgiving made him a sour Kraut.

Germans don't have Thanksgiving.


Ungrateful assholes.
 
2015-11-13 4:24:12 AM  
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.comView Full Size

And if I ever have a son, I think I'm gonna name him
Bill or George! Anything but Soo! I still hate that name!
 
2015-11-13 4:29:44 AM  

Massively Multiplayer Addict: How many ways are there to flush a toilet...?


TFA says they both flushed the toilet before using it. And that they both liked to read books from back to front.

Sounds like they were pretty backwards guys.
 
2015-11-13 4:34:42 AM  

Mugato: Worst. Sitcom. Ever.


What if they were conjoined?
 
2015-11-13 4:43:58 AM  
So, by checking to see if the toilet worked before using it, the two of them wasted millions of gallons of water in the past 82 years. We all have our idiosyncrasies. Me, before I go to a meeting with a police captain in an Italian restaurant, I like to go early and tape a pistol to the back of the toilet in the men's room.
 
2015-11-13 5:13:18 AM  
Both sound like jack asses. Couldn't even stand each other. Nice people.
 
2015-11-13 5:16:23 AM  

planes: Me, before I go to a meeting with a police captain in an Italian restaurant, I like to go early and tape a pistol to the back of the toilet in the men's room.


Except the attendant has his idiosyncrasy and cleans the toilets before they're used, thus removing your gun before it's fired.

/he also tries to sell you off-brand cologne when you enter so that you smell of poo and thus need more when you exit.
 
2015-11-13 5:17:02 AM  
What is the point of reading a book from back to front?
 
2015-11-13 5:32:03 AM  
82 yr old jew in the hitler youth?

 you're your doing it wrong.
 
2015-11-13 5:33:40 AM  

FDR Jones: What is the point of reading a book from back to front?


They were Japanese, so that makes sense.

/no wait, they weren't
 
2015-11-13 5:50:58 AM  
I had an ex boyfriend that would flush, start peeing while it flushed,  and then would flush again upon completion.  Can anyone tell me why this is a thing?
 
2015-11-13 5:59:23 AM  
So which one of them would lose control over hotdogs?
 
2015-11-13 6:00:30 AM  
Excuse me

Kraut?

/that's kind of sour
 
2015-11-13 6:29:24 AM  

ihateallofyou: I had an ex boyfriend that would flush, start peeing while it flushed,  and then would flush again upon completion.  Can anyone tell me why this is a thing?


He's a weirdo .
 
2015-11-13 6:34:43 AM  

koder: planes: Me, before I go to a meeting with a police captain in an Italian restaurant, I like to go early and tape a pistol to the back of the toilet in the men's room.

Except the attendant has his idiosyncrasy and cleans the toilets before they're used, thus removing your gun before it's fired.

/he also tries to sell you off-brand cologne when you enter so that you smell of poo and thus need more when you exit.


And for God's sake, whatever you do, don't try the veal.
 
2015-11-13 7:01:27 AM  

lucksi: FDR Jones: What is the point of reading a book from back to front?

They were Japanese, so that makes sense.

/no wait, they weren't


Hebrew is read right to left...
 
2015-11-13 7:09:44 AM  

ihateallofyou: I had an ex boyfriend that would flush, start peeing while it flushed,  and then would flush again upon completion.  Can anyone tell me why this is a thing?


The sound of the toilet flushing and water going down the toilet and the water filling up inside the toilet tank, all are louder than the sound of pee hitting the water, so you and everyone else in the home don't have to hear him pee.
 
2015-11-13 7:11:38 AM  

ihateallofyou: I had an ex boyfriend that would flush, start peeing while it flushed,  and then would flush again upon completion.  Can anyone tell me why this is a thing?


I pre flush if there's any excrement or piss in the bowl. Partially because if I drop a big one I don't want splashes from anything other than my own piss and shiat.

I put TP on the seat too because if you use a condom with strange why wouldn't you wrap a toilet seat?
 
2015-11-13 7:26:25 AM  
His name was Jack Yuof? How awkward.
 
2015-11-13 7:27:33 AM  

Tom-Servo: ihateallofyou: I had an ex boyfriend that would flush, start peeing while it flushed,  and then would flush again upon completion.  Can anyone tell me why this is a thing?

The sound of the toilet flushing and water going down the toilet and the water filling up inside the toilet tank, all are louder than the sound of pee hitting the water, so you and everyone else in the home don't have to hear him pee.


Also the sound of flowing water encourages some people to urinate
 
2015-11-13 7:33:03 AM  
Hey Subby, "Kraut" is really pretty offensive to most Germans.
 
2015-11-13 7:34:45 AM  
Fun at family reunions

Look who wore the brown shirt!
Let it go, you genetic failure.
 
2015-11-13 7:45:44 AM  

jethroe: Hey Subby, "Kraut" is really pretty offensive to most Germans.


As a 1st generation German American,  I'm taking it back.

But only we can use it
 
2015-11-13 7:46:53 AM  
You know who else was catholic and in the Hitler youth?

a.abcnews.go.comView Full Size
 
2015-11-13 7:49:02 AM  

jethroe: Hey Subby, "Kraut" is really pretty offensive to most Germans.


Fine. From now on, they can be called "Prussian Redskins".
 
2015-11-13 7:57:35 AM  
Cerebral Knievel : But only we can use it


Funny, I've heard that. It's like the N-word to a lot of Germans. "Only we can use it."

So I don't.


FirstNationalBastard : Fine. From now on, they can be called "Prussian Redskins".


Lovely, cracker.
 
2015-11-13 8:10:49 AM  
Did his brother have a goatee?
 
2015-11-13 8:14:52 AM  
Missed opportunities.

images6.fanpop.comView Full Size
 
2015-11-13 8:15:53 AM  

jethroe: Hey Subby, "Kraut" is really pretty offensive to most Germans.


OK, so then we'll go back to calling them Heinies.
 
2015-11-13 8:17:45 AM  

dittybopper: jethroe: Hey Subby, "Kraut" is really pretty offensive to most Germans.

OK, so then we'll go back to calling them Heinies.


We prefer Hun Americans.

/mom's a kraut ...
 
2015-11-13 8:18:27 AM  

planes: So, by checking to see if the toilet worked before using it, the two of them wasted millions of gallons of water in the past 82 years.


Did the water just vanish?
 
2015-11-13 8:21:57 AM  
dittybopper : OK, so then we'll go back to calling them Heinies.


a contemptuous term used to refer to a German, especially a German soldier in World War I or II.



You're livin' in the past, man.
 
2015-11-13 8:23:37 AM  

FirstNationalBastard: jethroe: Hey Subby, "Kraut" is really pretty offensive to most Germans.

Fine. From now on, they can be called "Prussian Redskins".


It's racist to assume they were Prussian. Maybe he was Bavarian? Or Hessian? Or even a Braunschweiger? Why would you assume he was Prussian?
 
2015-11-13 8:24:04 AM  

marius2: One was a Nazi, the other was religious. So, both were really easy to brainwash? I'm not spotting the difference here.


You can easily surmise which one had a goatee.
 
2015-11-13 8:25:16 AM  

Massively Multiplayer Addict: How many ways are there to flush a toilet...?


i.kinja-img.comView Full Size
 
2015-11-13 8:27:21 AM  

ihateallofyou: I had an ex boyfriend that would flush, start peeing while it flushed,  and then would flush again upon completion.  Can anyone tell me why this is a thing?


Possible explanations:
1.Prevents splashback.
2. Sounds "immense"
3. Whirlpool target engaged
4. Calming ocean sounds
5. Keeps the girlfriend guessing
 
2015-11-13 8:29:34 AM  
Was he his brother's keeper?
 
2015-11-13 8:46:52 AM  

ihateallofyou: I had an ex boyfriend that would flush, start peeing while it flushed,  and then would flush again upon completion.  Can anyone tell me why this is a thing?


Double chick's water bill
Achievement Unlocked!


I like itsaidwhat "Whirlpool target engaged" suggestion.  Maybe if you pee directly in to the center, it goes in to another dimension.

9th Dimension being 1.  "Where is this yellow stuff coming from?"
9th Dimension being 2:  "I blame those a-holes in the 8th dimension.  Let's nuke them.
9th Dimension being 1:  Can we do that?
9th Dimension being 2:  Sure.  Why not?
9th Dimension being 1:  Well, if we destroy the 8th dimension, wouldn't we become the 8th dimension?
9th Dimension being 2:  No.  We'd always be the 9th Dimension.  The coolest dimension there is.
9th Dimension being 1:  But if someone from the seventh dimension, say an adventist, decided to visit the next dimension up.  Wouldn't he set the control for the 8th dimension but because we destroyed it, wind up in the 9th, still thinking it was the 8th?
9th Dimension being 2:  Mistaking us for the 8th dimension?  You know that's an exploding.
9th Dimension being 1:  That's your answer to everything. Nuke it.  Nuke the7th, the 6th and the 5th.
9th Dimension being 2:  Good riddance to the 5th dimension.  They're always calling and inviting themselves over for breakfast.  It would be one less bell to answer.  On less egg to fry.
 
2015-11-13 8:49:01 AM  

planes: So, by checking to see if the toilet worked before using it, the two of them wasted millions of gallons of water in the past 82 years. We all have our idiosyncrasies. Me, before I go to a meeting with a police captain in an Italian restaurant, I like to go early and tape a pistol to the back of the toilet in the men's room.


Well, that's just good sense.

Unlike the pre-flushing.
 
2015-11-13 8:50:40 AM  

ihateallofyou: I had an ex boyfriend that would flush, start peeing while it flushed,  and then would flush again upon completion.  Can anyone tell me why this is a thing?


Timing and targeting are both important to the male of the species.
 
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