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(Huffington Post)   Hilton to stop offering pornographic films. We'll always have Paris   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Ironic  
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3957 clicks; posted to Main » and Business » on 19 Aug 2015 at 1:39 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2015-08-19 1:06:49 PM  
18 votes:

Lsherm: Oh, I can get way more pathetic than that. Calling the front desk because your porn order doesn't work, for starters.


"Yes this is Senator Republicloset in room 237. I'm sitting here with my dick in my hand and when I pull up "Cum Gargling Ass Blasters" all that comes up is an episode of "The Walking Dead" and I can only beat off to that so many times. Wait, am I on speaker?"
 
2015-08-19 1:47:52 PM  
17 votes:
Uncensored frontal view of Paris Hilton
citymocha.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-19 12:34:53 PM  
17 votes:

Mugato: While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.


Oh, I can get way more pathetic than that. Calling the front desk because your porn order doesn't work, for starters.
 
2015-08-19 1:21:22 PM  
13 votes:
I forget where I read it but I read the average duration of time adult movies are viewed in hotels after ordering is about three minutes.

Which means most people leave them on while they go wash up
 
2015-08-19 3:20:56 PM  
12 votes:
guest at check in: "and i certainly hope the porn channel is disabled"

desk clerk: "no, it's just regular porn you sick bastard"
 
2015-08-19 1:22:59 PM  
12 votes:
Subby:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2015-08-19 2:30:07 PM  
10 votes:

thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2015-08-19 11:22:27 AM  
9 votes:
Subby, you use your tongue purtier than a 30ish yr old billionaire heiress.
 
2015-08-19 2:05:15 PM  
8 votes:

Mugato: thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.

Next Spring Break, I want to party with you.


Don't knock it till you try PBS Masterporn Theatre...

"Pole Dark"
"Frontdoors, Backdoors"
"The Virgin Queer"
"Downtown Alley"
 
2015-08-19 1:59:01 PM  
8 votes:

thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.


Next Spring Break, I want to party with you.
 
2015-08-19 2:36:44 PM  
5 votes:

physt: Ha! I was in Paris 2 nights ago.


I hope you used protection.
 
2015-08-19 2:24:07 PM  
5 votes:

mongbiohazard: Mugato: While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.

I can think of something more pathetic. I used to work at a large chain record store, and we had a porn rental section. I remember working on Christmas day once, and being horrified at how many dudes came in to rent VHS porn from us on Christmas day.

I vowed that day to eat a bullet if I ever realized I was renting porn on Xmas.


Maybe they were Jewish or Muslim. Christmas day is the most boring day of the year for those who don't observe the holiday. Or maybe they wanted to rent a special treat to share with the family later that night. Because nothing says Christmas quite like midget gangbang bukkake porn.

/because it has many elves and is frosty
 
2015-08-19 2:14:25 PM  
4 votes:

regindyn: Hanna > Paris

/GIS will be NSFW


You weren't kidding:
farm9.staticflickr.comView Full Size

/Reporting self...
 
2015-08-19 1:46:04 PM  
3 votes:

kidakita: NateAsbestos: I just popped in here to say that that is a farkin fantastic headline, subs.

Seconded. Here's looking at you, kid.


I'm shocked, shocked to find this headline on Fark.com!
 
2015-08-19 2:30:54 PM  
2 votes:

belhade: Mugato: While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.

Yes, the maids are grateful for their chance at mounting my albino python.


reptilestogo.comView Full Size

Wat?
 
2015-08-19 2:04:02 PM  
2 votes:

hugram: Uncensored frontal view of Paris Hilton
[citymocha.com image 580x388]


Do you have a picture of the rear entrance?

I know, I know, it's been done, but so has every other bit of humor on fark.
 
2015-08-19 2:03:17 PM  
2 votes:

thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.


Can you fap to that?
 
2015-08-19 1:53:01 PM  
2 votes:
I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.
 
2015-08-19 12:44:29 PM  
2 votes:

Lsherm: Mugato: While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.

Oh, I can get way more pathetic than that. Calling the front desk because your porn order doesn't work, for starters.


Or calling the front desk because it actually says on your folio what movie you watched.
 
2015-08-19 9:59:35 AM  
2 votes:
FTA: However, we have listened carefully to our customers accountants and have determined that adult video-on-demand entertainment is not in keeping with our company's vision and goals moving forward. no longer profitable as it was before the Internet was widely available, and thus is not worth the hassle

Fixed that for them
 
2015-08-19 7:50:48 PM  
1 vote:
I stay at Hilton Hotels exclusively (Diamond Member) and have rented porn in my room on a couple of occasions.  The reasons I don't do it every time is that A). I have the internet, and B). I can't rewind the T.V.  Without the ability to rewind, I have to time everything just perfectly, which means I have to take the "Do Not Disturb" sign off of my door only moments before I want the maid to walk in.

Ugh, the things I have to get off these days.
 
2015-08-19 4:30:39 PM  
1 vote:

FrancoFile: Highroller48: steve_wmn: Highroller48: Invincible: Rapmaster2000: They've replaced that income stream with WiFi fees.

A whole lot of this. Wi-Fi rates are ridiculous in business goals. They know we're just going to expense it.

I stay in hotels on busness all the time, and have never once seen a Wi-Fi fee.  What kind of shiatholes are you people staying at?

The last time I booked a Marriott hotel they wanted $10 a night for Wi-fi in the room. Only their VIP club members got it for free. I stayed one night and moved to a place with free Wi-fi.

Wowzers.  Must be an American thing.  I've never (and I really mean never) been required to pay for WiFi in a hotel over hundreds of stays at many different chains (including Mariott).


It's actually a fascinating exercise in economics.

If you're travelling on business with an expense account, then ancillary fees for WiFi, breakfast, parking, etc. don't bother you.  You're mostly concerned with location, plus maybe racking up points.  So more expensive hotels can charge $10/night for WiFi and have it go right to the bottom line.

If you're travelling on your own dime, you take the total expense into account and shop accordingly.  So Holiday Inn etc. give you WiFi for free - originally as a competitive advantage, and now it's as standard and expected as an ice machine down the hallway.


There's clearly a geographic component, too.  I just spent 10 minutes on Expedia and was unable to find even ONE hotel that charged for Wi-Fi,  I tried business and leisure hotels, even motels.  Don't get me wrong, I was a GM, so I know that the "free parking", etc, is really just included in the rate, but until today I had honestly never even HEARD of a hotel charging a separate WiFi access fee.  For example, 447 hotels in Toronto alone offer free internet.  0 charge for it.
 
2015-08-19 4:23:36 PM  
1 vote:

thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.


quickmeme.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-19 3:47:49 PM  
1 vote:

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: Mugato: thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.

Next Spring Break, I want to party with you.

Don't knock it till you try PBS Masterporn Theatre...

"Pole Dark"
"Frontdoors, Backdoors"
"The Virgin Queer"
"Downtown Alley"


"Tie Me Upstairs, Tie Me Downstairs"
 
2015-08-19 3:42:44 PM  
1 vote:
Paris Hilton "sex tape" is THE

vignette3.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size


Worst. Porno. Ever.
 
2015-08-19 3:02:18 PM  
1 vote:

physt: Ha! I was in Paris 2 nights ago.


I thought I saw you there.
 
2015-08-19 3:00:51 PM  
1 vote:
readwatchwrite.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-19 11:25:08 AM  
1 vote:
While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.
 
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