Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Huffington Post)   Hilton to stop offering pornographic films. We'll always have Paris   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Ironic  
•       •       •

3955 clicks; posted to Main » and Business » on 19 Aug 2015 at 1:39 PM (5 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



101 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2015-08-19 9:59:35 AM  
FTA: However, we have listened carefully to our customers accountants and have determined that adult video-on-demand entertainment is not in keeping with our company's vision and goals moving forward. no longer profitable as it was before the Internet was widely available, and thus is not worth the hassle

Fixed that for them
 
2015-08-19 10:28:16 AM  
And this
 
2015-08-19 11:22:27 AM  
Subby, you use your tongue purtier than a 30ish yr old billionaire heiress.
 
2015-08-19 11:25:08 AM  
While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.
 
2015-08-19 12:34:53 PM  

Mugato: While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.


Oh, I can get way more pathetic than that. Calling the front desk because your porn order doesn't work, for starters.
 
2015-08-19 12:38:19 PM  
I just popped in here to say that that is a farkin fantastic headline, subs.
 
2015-08-19 12:44:29 PM  

Lsherm: Mugato: While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.

Oh, I can get way more pathetic than that. Calling the front desk because your porn order doesn't work, for starters.


Or calling the front desk because it actually says on your folio what movie you watched.
 
2015-08-19 1:06:49 PM  

Lsherm: Oh, I can get way more pathetic than that. Calling the front desk because your porn order doesn't work, for starters.


"Yes this is Senator Republicloset in room 237. I'm sitting here with my dick in my hand and when I pull up "Cum Gargling Ass Blasters" all that comes up is an episode of "The Walking Dead" and I can only beat off to that so many times. Wait, am I on speaker?"
 
2015-08-19 1:21:22 PM  
I forget where I read it but I read the average duration of time adult movies are viewed in hotels after ordering is about three minutes.

Which means most people leave them on while they go wash up
 
2015-08-19 1:22:59 PM  
Subby:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2015-08-19 1:33:16 PM  

NateAsbestos: I just popped in here to say that that is a farkin fantastic headline, subs.


Seconded. Here's looking at you, kid.
 
2015-08-19 1:43:55 PM  
If that isn't selected for HOTW I'll eat my hat.
 
2015-08-19 1:44:32 PM  

BizarreMan: Lsherm: Mugato: While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.

Oh, I can get way more pathetic than that. Calling the front desk because your porn order doesn't work, for starters.

Or calling the front desk because it actually says on your folio what four movies you watched.

 
2015-08-19 1:46:04 PM  

kidakita: NateAsbestos: I just popped in here to say that that is a farkin fantastic headline, subs.

Seconded. Here's looking at you, kid.


I'm shocked, shocked to find this headline on Fark.com!
 
2015-08-19 1:47:52 PM  
Uncensored frontal view of Paris Hilton
citymocha.comView Full Size
 
2015-08-19 1:48:18 PM  
+ 1
 
2015-08-19 1:48:54 PM  
the maids Union probably had something to do with this.

The Maid:
Sir, there is this sticky fluid all over the TV. This is the 7th time this week.
 
2015-08-19 1:50:19 PM  
That's what tethering and Chromecasts are for.
 
2015-08-19 1:53:01 PM  
I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.
 
2015-08-19 1:55:42 PM  

BMFPitt: That's what tethering and Chromecasts are for.


Can you get a Chromecast on the hotels network if you have to go through a splash screen to get the WiFi to work?
 
2015-08-19 1:56:06 PM  
They've replaced that income stream with WiFi fees.
 
2015-08-19 1:59:01 PM  

thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.


Next Spring Break, I want to party with you.
 
2015-08-19 2:00:28 PM  
Hanna > Paris

/GIS will be NSFW
 
2015-08-19 2:01:22 PM  

thornhill: BMFPitt: That's what tethering and Chromecasts are for.

Can you get a Chromecast on the hotels network if you have to go through a splash screen to get the WiFi to work?


It's not pretty but you can do it with a $20 travel router, easiest if you have a wired connection in the room, if wired is not an option you can bridge the wifi from your laptop to the wired port on your laptop and get it to the router that way.  All could be for naught though if the hotel disables the HDMI ports on the TV, or it is too damn close to the wall and doesn't move so you can't get the damn thing plugged in.

/travel a lot for work.
 
2015-08-19 2:02:48 PM  

Rapmaster2000: They've replaced that income stream with WiFi fees.


A whole lot of this. Wi-Fi rates are ridiculous in business goals. They know we're just going to expense it.
 
2015-08-19 2:03:17 PM  

thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.


Can you fap to that?
 
2015-08-19 2:04:02 PM  

hugram: Uncensored frontal view of Paris Hilton
[citymocha.com image 580x388]


Do you have a picture of the rear entrance?

I know, I know, it's been done, but so has every other bit of humor on fark.
 
2015-08-19 2:04:04 PM  

Mugato: While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.


I can think of something more pathetic. I used to work at a large chain record store, and we had a porn rental section. I remember working on Christmas day once, and being horrified at how many dudes came in to rent VHS porn from us on Christmas day.

I vowed that day to eat a bullet if I ever realized I was renting porn on Xmas.
 
2015-08-19 2:05:15 PM  

Mugato: thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.

Next Spring Break, I want to party with you.


Don't knock it till you try PBS Masterporn Theatre...

"Pole Dark"
"Frontdoors, Backdoors"
"The Virgin Queer"
"Downtown Alley"
 
2015-08-19 2:07:20 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.

Can you fap to that?


The question is does he fap to the movie or the guy seated in his leather wing chair describing the movie.
 
2015-08-19 2:14:25 PM  

regindyn: Hanna > Paris

/GIS will be NSFW


You weren't kidding:
farm9.staticflickr.comView Full Size

/Reporting self...
 
2015-08-19 2:15:09 PM  

thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.



I turn it on for local weather while I'm going back and forth to bathroom, luggage, etc.  Or to do automated check out.
 
2015-08-19 2:16:57 PM  
So are they blocking the internets as well?
 
2015-08-19 2:19:00 PM  

mongbiohazard: Mugato: While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.

I can think of something more pathetic. I used to work at a large chain record store, and we had a porn rental section. I remember working on Christmas day once, and being horrified at how many dudes came in to rent VHS porn from us on Christmas day.

I vowed that day to eat a bullet if I ever realized I was renting porn on Xmas.


You are aware that not everyone celebrates Christmas right?

Hell, now that my kids are all grown and moved away it's just another day of the week to me.
 
2015-08-19 2:19:19 PM  

Mugato: While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.


Yes, the maids are grateful for their chance at mounting my albino python.
 
2015-08-19 2:24:07 PM  

mongbiohazard: Mugato: While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.

I can think of something more pathetic. I used to work at a large chain record store, and we had a porn rental section. I remember working on Christmas day once, and being horrified at how many dudes came in to rent VHS porn from us on Christmas day.

I vowed that day to eat a bullet if I ever realized I was renting porn on Xmas.


Maybe they were Jewish or Muslim. Christmas day is the most boring day of the year for those who don't observe the holiday. Or maybe they wanted to rent a special treat to share with the family later that night. Because nothing says Christmas quite like midget gangbang bukkake porn.

/because it has many elves and is frosty
 
2015-08-19 2:24:12 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.

Can you fap to that?


That's the joke.
 
2015-08-19 2:24:26 PM  

Mugato: Lsherm: Oh, I can get way more pathetic than that. Calling the front desk because your porn order doesn't work, for starters.

"Yes this is Senator Republicloset in room 237. I'm sitting here with my dick in my hand and when I pull up "Cum Gargling Ass Blasters" all that comes up is an episode of "The Walking Dead" and I can only beat off to that so many times. Wait, am I on speaker?"


I LOL'd
 
2015-08-19 2:25:52 PM  

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: Mugato: thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.

Next Spring Break, I want to party with you.

Don't knock it till you try PBS Masterporn Theatre...

"Pole Dark"
"Frontdoors, Backdoors"
"The Virgin Queer"
"Downtown Alley"


I think he missed my joke.
 
2015-08-19 2:26:19 PM  

belhade: Mugato: While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.

Yes, the maids are grateful for their chance at mounting my albino python.


Yeah mounting that whitesnake up on the wall next to the thermostat. To encourage future guests not to be d*ck
 
2015-08-19 2:30:07 PM  

thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2015-08-19 2:30:54 PM  

belhade: Mugato: While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.

Yes, the maids are grateful for their chance at mounting my albino python.


reptilestogo.comView Full Size

Wat?
 
2015-08-19 2:32:33 PM  

thornhill: Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: Mugato: thornhill: I can't remember the last time I turned on a TV in a hotel. I always just stream stuff on my iPad, like PBS Masterpiece Theater.

Next Spring Break, I want to party with you.

Don't knock it till you try PBS Masterporn Theatre...

"Pole Dark"
"Frontdoors, Backdoors"
"The Virgin Queer"
"Downtown Alley"

I think he missed my joke.


I can't get this vision of Mr. Hudson banging away on Rose while he cleans his glasses with a free thumb and grunts "Aaacch, lassie, put some minge in it".
 
2015-08-19 2:35:22 PM  
Ha! I was in Paris 2 nights ago.
 
2015-08-19 2:36:44 PM  

physt: Ha! I was in Paris 2 nights ago.


I hope you used protection.
 
2015-08-19 2:43:52 PM  
Great. Now if Hilton has those rediculous wifi prices of $15/day, then they need to address that next.
 
2015-08-19 2:44:57 PM  

mongbiohazard: Mugato: While I'm hardly the bastion of dignity, I can't think of anything more pathetic than watching porn while sitting in a nice hotel room on vacation. I guess unless you're married and alone on a business trip or something.

Anyway, the maids are probably grateful.

I can think of something more pathetic. I used to work at a large chain record store, and we had a porn rental section. I remember working on Christmas day once, and being horrified at how many dudes came in to rent VHS porn from us on Christmas day.

I vowed that day to eat a bullet if I ever realized I was renting porn on Xmas.


Years ago, I went to a strip club for a bachelor party in the month of December. The club was hyping their upcoming holiday party, which would feature decorations, a buffet, and all of their dancers on one night. I couldn't help but think that the grizzled club regulars would surely be in attendance, this possibly being the only holiday celebration that they'll have with other people.

Now if that doesn't make you want to eat a bullet, what will?
 
2015-08-19 2:46:08 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: I forget where I read it but I read the average duration of time adult movies are viewed in hotels after ordering is about three minutes.

Which means most people leave them on while they go wash up

More than a decade ao I had a GF who worked Customer service for com cast,   The unwritten but adamant  rule was that they were not to refund PPV charges for any adult title that ran for more than 10 minutes before being shut off.
 
2015-08-19 2:46:11 PM  
Radio killed video star
 
2015-08-19 2:50:02 PM  

fark'emfeed'emfish: Radio killed the video star


(WiFi)
 
Displayed 50 of 101 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter



  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.