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(CNN)   Charlotte airport discovers scanners work best when plugged in - 6,000 passengers rescreened   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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4526 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2001 at 9:32 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

53 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-12-19 09:36:37 AM  
"It's a huge mistake. We don't believe [the magnetometer] was unplugged more than five minutes, but we're not sure we'll ever be able to determine that. It cost the airlines and the airport a lot of money."

How the fark could you not know!? Did the brainless screen-watchers fail to realize that they weren't seeing anything?
2001-12-19 09:36:37 AM  
Jeebus farking Christ
2001-12-19 09:38:27 AM  
Isnt there an l.e.d or something on this machine with the word 'on' next to it?

Well, Cmgreven, if you flunk out of college, at least you can get a job in airline security.
2001-12-19 09:40:41 AM  
In a related story, Charlotte airport discovers that security guards with brains do their job better than those without.
2001-12-19 09:42:45 AM  
Take away all the security risks, all the terrorist threats, and all the bad stuff that we're worried about on flights.

You're still 6 miles in the air in a big metal box.

Illusion of safety, people.
2001-12-19 09:43:00 AM  
And federalizing these employees is going to help us how? Keep in mind that, once "federalized," these will still be the same people with the same training.
2001-12-19 09:43:14 AM  
And yes, I've been saying that since 1998 - before Fight Club came out.
2001-12-19 09:45:28 AM  
Hhhhmm the Airport security system not operating don't say.......
2001-12-19 09:45:28 AM  
The terrorists have already won.
2001-12-19 09:47:28 AM  
Isn't crap airport security the reason it all kicked off in the first place? And wasn't the security crap because the airlines were asked to tighten it but they whined that it would cost too much?
2001-12-19 09:49:29 AM  
...He said nearly 6,000 people had to be rescreened..."

"It's a huge mistake. We don't believe [the magnetometer] was unplugged more than five minutes..."

Lets see. There are 1440 minutes in a day. This translates to 288 5-minute blocks. If 6000 people are rescreened from a machine down 5 minutes, this equals to 1,728,000 people passing through the airport per day. WOW!

I think the numbers are off a bit...probably mine.
2001-12-19 09:53:37 AM  
Notice how the farkers talk about it costing THEM a lot of money. Who gives a shiat about the passengers right? Damn airlines, cattle get treated better.
2001-12-19 09:59:46 AM  
I usually have to stop there when flying to the parents. Great.

Dues And on the ground your driving in a small metal box with shiatloads of crazy drivers who shouldn't be on the road, who are drunk, or have no clue how to drive, or better yet, their cars are in such bad shape that they are a danger.

It is the same no mater how you travel.
2001-12-19 10:02:33 AM  
and in a related story:
Members of the Babysitters club of the Carolinas were detained after the re-screening, but released a short time later when security determined that they were too ugly to be terrorists.

[image from too old to be available]
2001-12-19 10:02:38 AM  
Lwr, that reminds me of that joke thing about the different typs of government and a farmer with two cows.

You don't have any cows. The bank will not lend you money to buy cows, because you don't have any cows to put up as collateral.
2001-12-19 10:06:38 AM  
Okay, expalin to me how they knew it was unplugged for only five minutes? Did the person who unplugged it start his/her stopwatch? Did they see it unplugged for at least five minutes and do nothing about it? I just don't get it. It sounds like someone is trying to cover their ass and make things sound better. Dumbass.
2001-12-19 10:11:10 AM  
3M TA3 - shiat, you're right. Well, I guess I'm walking from now on.

But seriously though, I think there's a lot of inherent danger in flying, and all this extra crap is just trying to trick ourselves into thinking otherwise so that we don't spend the whole flight sweating bullets. Now, I fly a lot, but I know that there are some risks involved. And I know I could avoid those risks by driving. But, the benefit of getting from South Carolina to Texas in 2 hours instead of 14 outweighs the lower risk and cheaper cost of driving. For me, anyway.
2001-12-19 10:11:34 AM  
only one solution appropriate here, cock and ball torture for everyone involved

2001-12-19 10:13:17 AM  
Deus: Yes I think I heard that one in my Micro economics class once. I looked for it but all I could find was...

The types of cows

If a communist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government sells him some of the milk.

If a Socialist has two cows, he gives both to the government, and the government gives him some of the milk.

If a Nazi has two cows, the government shoots him, and takes both cows.

If a Capitalist has two cows, he sells one and buys a bull.

If a New dealist has two cows, he kills one, milks the other, and throws away the milk.

If a Liberalist has two cows, he sells them to the rich, then taxes them one cow and gives it to the poor.

If a Conservatist has two cows, he locks them up and charges people to look at them.

If an Atheist has two cows, he doesn't believe it.

If a Taoist has two cows, he lets them wander off.

If a Platonist has two cows, he looks for two others to milk.

If a Aristocrat has two cows, he sells them and buys one big one.

If a Pacifist has two cows, they stampede him.

If a government worker has two cows, he can't sell them, fire them, or even label them as cows.

If a Hillary Clinton has two cows, she robs the ranches and gives everyone two cows. If she doesn't have enough, she gives them bull.
2001-12-19 10:19:31 AM  
Um, what good is screening everyone when they arrive at their destinations going to do?
2001-12-19 10:19:33 AM  

If a Kentuckian has two cows, he takes them out behind the barn, sodomizes them, shoots both and sells the meat.
2001-12-19 10:39:45 AM  
You know, when my home PC loses power the UPS blinks and starts beeping loudly at me. It also triggers an event in the NT log and APC software and sends an alert to all users on my home network. Yes, this is at home.

I think it's very unlikely that my PC would be used by terrorists to kill innocent people, but it has more contingency and security than the security screening equipment at the airport at Charlotte?!? It defies logic.
2001-12-19 10:43:07 AM  
Random Person: Damn, sorry about that I guess I missed that line durring the cut and paste. I'll try harder next time.
2001-12-19 10:51:10 AM  
Deus, did I hear you say you think driving has less risks than flying? Are you insane?
2001-12-19 10:57:52 AM  
Badger: I would guess they sent everyone through the security screeners again. Many of the people who went back through were probably there for more than 5 minutes. With delayed flights, especially, the 6000 could have walked through the first time a few hours ago.

Gaboo: I think they are just trying to make it sound like they are semi-competent. They probably arent.

Schmee: My only guess is this affected people with for two or more flights on a trip. When you get off the plane at a gate you can normally just walk over to another gate without being screened again. For people who arrived at their final destination, I am just going to -guess- they did not need to walk through the security screening again (because they would just be walking right back into the "insecure" area again). I envision they were just ushered out and if they wanted to return to the gate area, they needed to be screened again.
2001-12-19 11:01:58 AM  
I say we eliminate security completely from the airports (not like they're work a damn anyway) and give all the passengers a complimentary box cutter for the flight. It'll put everyone on equal footing.
2001-12-19 11:03:45 AM  
You are right.
Deus should check the numbers of fatalities per person/mile for cars and for planes (and for other types of transport too I think). It gets even better when comparing for person/time in vehicle.
2001-12-19 11:15:31 AM  
how asinine
2001-12-19 11:15:46 AM  
ha ha ha. it's only a matter of time until the 'The Events of 9/11 Part Deux' comes out. morons.
2001-12-19 11:18:47 AM  
I have never been to bed with an ugly girl;
but fark i have woken up next to a few.
2001-12-19 11:46:34 AM  
If a Republican has two cows, follow the money.
If a Christian Right has two cows, he claims that he has the only two cows in the universe and calls others cows blasphemus.
2001-12-19 11:49:02 AM  
heheheh.. cock and ball torture.. I never get tired of saying that.
2001-12-19 11:54:03 AM  
If a Farker has two cows, he Photoshops one and gives the other to Wil Wheaton.
2001-12-19 12:05:43 PM  
This would almost be funny if it didn't mean that all those people had to pay for their blunder.
2001-12-19 12:11:18 PM  
2001-12-19 12:16:07 PM  
Maybe the answer is to put the cows in charge of security? I'm sure they could do an equal if not better job then that set of idiots. One of the qualifications for working with that equipment should be the ability to program your own VCR.
2001-12-19 12:24:39 PM  
good lawrdy dawrdy
2001-12-19 12:34:20 PM  

Thems are some uuuuuggggglllllyyyy biatches.
2001-12-19 01:08:20 PM  
I was searching for appropriate airport pictures, but after seeing them, I was disuaded. So I just decided to put them up and be done with it.
I can't even imagine what would possess so many ugly chicks to congregate together, but I can hope that it was a field trip to some distant desert island, where I won't have to worry about (as Brisvegas_Boy says)"waking up next to one" after a long night spent with Guiness and the Good Captain.
2001-12-19 01:24:42 PM  
If anyone else here has actually BEEN to the Charlotte airport (I live here don't get me started), it's amazing that the retards that run the security checkpoints only managed to leave ONE unplugged. Damned low unemployment....
2001-12-19 01:34:28 PM  
If this is what the airport is admitting happened...what really happened? Sometimes when you read about incompetence in government, security, or the military, you are reading a cover story that is more palatable than the truth.

Why not just have luggage planes? No bags are screened, passengers carry on nothing (no laptops, no duffles, nothing--people can last a few hours without their toys). All luggage goes on a little tiny plane that follows the big one. If the luggage plane blows up, we lose one pilot and a lot of underwear.

I suppose the next call will be to federalize airport security. Apparently some people believe government workers are more professional than private workers. I know when I'm standing in line to pay the filing fee to pay the tax on my license tabs, I'm impressed by government efficiency.
2001-12-19 01:48:13 PM  
What really happened... not only were the gates unplugged, the security guards were nowhere in sight... getting drunk.
2001-12-19 01:55:32 PM  
"No, Mr. T, I have no idea why your 39 gold necklaces did not set off the metal detector. Good lookin out Mr. T!"

"I pity the fool who forget to plug in the security equipment!"
[image from too old to be available]
2001-12-19 02:14:20 PM  
The inoperative magnetometers have already won...
2001-12-19 02:23:00 PM  
The LINE of the article...
Passengers aboard flights that had already taken off were rechecked at their destinations, said FAA spokesman.

ahh, wonderful government logic.
"Thank you for flying with us today. If you would please follow the security guard to the screening post instead of going on to the baggage claim area..."
"Because you may not have been screened at Charlotte, and as a security precaution we have to make sure that you didn't take any weapons onboard the aircraft for your flight today."
", barn door. Ya know?"
*stage whisper*"Don't ask me, man, I only work here..."
2001-12-19 03:20:17 PM  
Take away all the security risks, all the terrorist threats, and all the bad stuff that we're worried about on flights.

You're still 6 miles in the air in a big metal box.

Illusion of safety, people.

You can make anything sound bad.

Walking down the street: "Suspending your skull six feet above pavement on an inherently unstable, swaying structure."
2001-12-19 03:28:45 PM  
Federalizing the security is going to be the death of the airline industry.

I'm not even going to go and subject myself to such asinine logic. These guys probably all got fired from Mickey D's for being retards. Now they are running dat dare masheen.
2001-12-19 03:36:47 PM  
"Walking down the street: "Suspending your skull six feet above pavement on an inherently unstable, swaying structure."

Good point. Start crawling.
2001-12-19 03:47:46 PM  
No shiat Ishidan if they'd asked to screen me after I'd already in rode the farking plane you'd be seeing a news story about another 'idiot' rushing a checkpoint.

If they we smart (long shot I know) they'd have plugged the thing in, shut their mouth, and pray nothing happened to any of those flights. Imagine a sleeper agent trying to keep a straight face being screened after a 'test flight'
2001-12-19 04:05:59 PM  

Illusions of safety are illusions of security though; those who are ruled by these illusions are still going to be discouraged from trying anything

a thought...
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