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(The Sun)   Exotic animal owner killed by pet black widow, rest of animals rush in to feed on corpse. Creepshow 3 ensues   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

38851 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Feb 2004 at 4:18 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

309 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-02-27 09:39:19 AM  
'Vinagaroons', there bite releases toxins that fark up your taste buds, everything you eat, drink, swallow, tastes like vinagar
2004-02-27 09:48:41 AM  
wakamole : Jay Farrar says that is tweedys new job!

/uncle tupelo rocks!
2004-02-27 09:50:16 AM  
GraphicAddiction: Always add this little bit to the code so the link opens a new window. Courtesy and all.
<a href="" TARGET="_blank">Your Text Here</a>

Thanks for the tip. Am I supposed to actually use the word "_blank", or does that mean that I should leave that area blank?
2004-02-27 09:50:53 AM  
ya know. I once caught a camel spider and jarred it with a scorpion, next morning I couldn't believe the scorpion was dead.
2004-02-27 09:53:56 AM  
yeah sounds like crap to me (former arachnologist).
we had black widows in our lab as amusements (that and people who didn't know what they were, and who brought them to us to identify, didn't want them back). they're not particularly aggressive, in fact they only got aggressive to crickets who were actually tangled in their web, otherwise they're scaredy-cats.
i have tarantulas as pets, and my general rule on handling them, is to be entertained/amused with them as they were fish: you don't pick them up do you?
the ones i have are aggressive bird-eaters, but i can't believe it happened as they surmised...if anything the tarantulas would have taken out the lizards or each other (cannibalism is fun!) before they ate human flesh...they're not particularly well-sighted, they're designed to hunt by vibration and chance...hence a dead, inanimate corpse won't exactly attract their attention.
flesh-eating termites? BULLFARK!
2004-02-27 09:56:35 AM  

I own spider number 8 on that list. And yes...she's farking insane! ;)
2004-02-27 09:58:39 AM  
Aggresive lil bastards...I don't think that have any toxins....but they are the Mike Tyson of the spider world.

/Camel Spider for teh Win!
2004-02-27 10:00:22 AM  

Jay-Tea: I had a moth fly into my ear once. It was a horrible experience. I could feel the farker fluttering around in my ear all the way to the ER. They drowned it with lidocaine and tried to suck it out. They ended up irrigating my ear with a huge turkey baster looking thing. The force the doc used to flush the sucker was so great, I had water coming out of my eye! I slept with a blanket over my head for 6 months. If I see a moth, I break out in a cold sweat.

Nothing like wearing glasses and having a wasp fly in under them.

I hope no one witnessed a grown man wailing like a kid with a scratched knee flailing around and throwing his glasses into the distance and running around like his clothes were on fire.
2004-02-27 10:03:10 AM  

Thank you, my first lol of the day...nice visual.
2004-02-27 10:03:47 AM  
"several thousand termites had gorged on his body"

Guy must have died with one serious woody.
2004-02-27 10:07:23 AM  
Comment from a coworker whom I forwarded the article too:

"Well, if you're going to die in your house, alone, you might as well have the ecosystem to back you up."
2004-02-27 10:09:31 AM  
A year ago my company built their new location in what used to be woods. When summer came around all these creepy-crawlies didn't have anywhere to go, so they came inside. I should have put the hero tag next to my cubicle for all the eight legged victims that were crushed by my steel toed size 12's.

However, one did creep me out. I stepped on it and it literally exploded into baby spiders. Tons of them. I was busy for quite some time but for some reason I kept hearing the soundtrack to DOOM II in my mind.
2004-02-27 10:10:53 AM  

I was driving my car, bleary eyed with a hangover one morning, and noticed a wasp crawling along the inside of my windscreen. I went from that hangover-automatic pilot condition you get, into panic mode within a fraction of a second. The next fraction of a second had my car on the pavement and me sprinting through a field on the other side of the road. The girl I was giving a lift home to at the time claimed I over-reacted. I didn't think so!
2004-02-27 10:11:14 AM  
Wippit: that last spider pic you posted was of a salticid (jumping spider) notice the large eyes? some have been shown to be as smart or smarter than mammals (maze-ability, memory, etc) the thing about salticids is their eyesight is on par with much more evolutionary advanced verterbrates, to the point where when you see one, you can watch it follow you, and decide that yes, you are too big to eat. :)

a salticid the size of a cat would scare the "jebus" out of me indeed...the tiny ones less than an inch long can take down prey sometimes 3-4 times their size, bumblebees, large moths, etc. its a fear that does keep me up sometimes...

Big Friggin' Eyes! (but cute)
2004-02-27 10:13:47 AM  
OH fark, OH fark.
That is disgusting and now I have the "things crawling on skin, possibly to eat me" heebie jeebies.
I will now go throw up my breakfast Hostess Cupcake.
2004-02-27 10:15:27 AM  
that said, anyone know a grad school that would accept someone with shiatty grades, but with years of research experience and several publications?

specialty: invertebrate zoology

I'm looking to get out of the research technician phase of my life...3 years has been enough.
2004-02-27 10:16:05 AM  
little miss:
Someone please tell me that flesh eating termites only live in Germany. We dont have any of those kind here in the states......right? RIGHT??

Like many insects, they won't eat living flesh, but they will eat dead, rotting flesh.
2004-02-27 10:16:43 AM  
King Diamond not available for comment...

[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-27 10:17:59 AM  
Between this spider story and a call at work from a demented ex-girlfriend.. I'll just go ahead and jump out of a window. Happy farking Friday.
2004-02-27 10:20:13 AM  
Helluo, thanks for the info, even though you were talkin to Wippit. I wanted to know what the hell that was, having kept a couple of tarantulas in the past myself.

I like the coloration, for one.

*sad, fond memories of his Cobalt Blue and Blonde Hair [tarantulas]*
2004-02-27 10:21:08 AM  
Let this be a lesson to everyone out there:

"Don't name your kid Loner."

2004-02-27 10:23:01 AM  
several thousand termites had gorged on his body

Police have released this picture of the victim:

[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-27 10:24:02 AM  
I feel icky now. Thanks you freaks.
2004-02-27 10:25:15 AM  

I want my Daddy!
2004-02-27 10:30:03 AM  
Ugh, that's just nasty.

As for those aggressive spiders in that link from vejita1975 ... holy farking crap! 12" spiders that are very agressive?? ugh

And then finally, to give you all some more ...
2004-02-27 10:33:55 AM  
"The only good bug is a dead bug!"
[image from too old to be available]

2004-02-27 10:36:51 AM  
Ok, this has probably already been asked, but how the hell did they know all the names of the pets? Were the spiders wearing tags?

And what will happen to them? Like, would you adopt one of these things?

"Hi, my name is Helmut. I ate my owner. Please adopt me!"
2004-02-27 10:39:54 AM  
Jay-Tea, that was great, but you owe me a monitor cleaning. The boyfriend is sick on the recliner staring at me as I sat here and laughed.
2004-02-27 10:43:12 AM  
Spider expert and animal cruelty officer Gabi Bayer said he kept creatures that should never be allowed in a private home.

She said: He had spiders so aggressive they are the equivalent of a pit-bull in the animal world.

I have problems with this statement. Pitbulls are sweet sweet dogs. I've never known a mean one. People teach them to be aggressive. This statement suggests that pitbulls should not be allowed in public homes. Ugh.
2004-02-27 10:44:42 AM  
666death - You own one of these?
Sounds like a fun one /sarcasm
2004-02-27 10:46:04 AM  
Ok, this has probably already been asked, but how the hell did they know all the names of the pets? Were the spiders wearing tags?

Maybe he was one of those evil pet owners who buys/makes cute little outfits for all his pets.

"Helmut, aren't you just adorable in your little sweater with your name embroidered on it! Yes you are! You are just the cutest itty bitty widdle gecko that ever was!"

It was at that point that Helmut understood. Mark Voegel must die.
2004-02-27 10:48:47 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-27 10:51:11 AM  
I think the clock spider is a joke. I've seen prank clocks that look average but have those legs sticking out before. thankfull.. they didn't move ^^
2004-02-27 10:51:21 AM  
Because we've had about two weeks of non-stop rain and I live in the country where many spiders roam, I'm now on a caffeine and No Doze diet. Spiders creep me out!!!!!!
2004-02-27 10:51:24 AM  
Wonder how long it'll be before this one turns up on CSI.

Grissom would have a field day with all those creepy-crawlies.

2004-02-27 10:51:31 AM  
Problem easily solved.

Anytime you see a spider, go out of your way to kill it. Same goes for snakes, bugs and birds.

If we all do this then the world will be a better place.
2004-02-27 10:51:32 AM  
I'm glad I got to work to read this, because often when I suffer from insomnia I go to Fark and entertain myself thoroughly.

If I'd seen this last night before I went to bed, you can bet your ass I'd be up all night, barricaded in my room with about every can of bug spray, shoe and fly swatter known to man.

Strike that: a lighter and can of WD-40...homemade flame thrower!!

Course now I'm at work and getting all freaked out...dammit!
2004-02-27 10:54:15 AM  
I lived in the jungles of Ecuador for 1 month in college doing research. They have those 12" spiders there that catch birds for dinner. I, fortunately, didn't see one or I would have shiat my pants. It was bad enough seeing farking tarantulas everywhere- yes, EVERYWHERE! I HATE spiders! I also almost sat on a 6in scorpion which was hanging out on the outhouse toilet seat, and there were cockroaches there as big as my hand.
2004-02-27 10:56:38 AM  
American_Draka - I was wondering if anyone was gonna get the Alice Cooper ref. You get a cookie!

GirTheGecko - A consolation cookie for you for being first runner up. ;p

Son of Thunder - Sorry, that is a little confusing, isn't it? You should type the code in bold exactly as it is shown. You want a new blank window to pop up for your link to load into.
2004-02-27 10:58:23 AM  
The best part of Eight Legged Freaks:

The itsy bitsy spider
crawled up the water spout.
Down came the rain
and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun
and dried up all the rain.
And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.

The itsy bitsy spider
crawled in from the sun.
Crept into the crib,
found a baby bun.
Baby kept a-cryin'
'till mommas' work was done.
And the itsy bitsy spider
crawled back out in the sun.

The itsy bitsy spider
crawled into momma's bed.
Crawled up on her hubby
and bit him in the head.
Momma lay there sleepin'
while hubby lay there dead.
And the itsy bitsy spider
crawled outta momma's bed.

The itsy bitsy spider
crawled into momma's shoe.
Momma was forlorn
and didn't know what to do.
She tried to go for help
But her foot was turnin' blue.
And the itsy bitsy spider
crawled outta momma's shoe.

So the itsy bitsy spider
crawled up the water spout.
Down came the rain
and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun
and dried up all the rain.
And the itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.
2004-02-27 11:00:11 AM  
It's funny because it's true...
2004-02-27 11:01:24 AM  
You should type the code in bold exactly as it is shown. You want a new blank window to pop up for your link to load into.

Let's see if I understand.

GIS for "giant spider"

Got it, thanks!
2004-02-27 11:03:09 AM  
Christ spiders freak me out, even if I know the ones I'll meet here in Sweden are harmless. I'm surprised, has noone mentioned the Australian funnel web spider? Have a friend who live in Ozzieland, said the bastards would run like hell and make noise (NOISE!), hissing like cats. BRRR
2004-02-27 11:06:48 AM  

augh! I hates the centipedes. nasty wiggling snake-spider hybrid mofos that need to be exterminated from the face of God's good Earth!

/goes off to shiver in corner
2004-02-27 11:06:57 AM  
your lymph nodes must be the size of cats!
2004-02-27 11:08:26 AM  
I love spiders and I'm also a devout worshipper of Lolth.

Praise be to Lolth, the queen of spiders!
2004-02-27 11:10:18 AM  
Too bad the guy wasn't keeping radioactive spiders.
[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-27 11:12:57 AM  
I used to want to visit Australia someday. But from all the unholy-freaking-spider mentions it's getting- I think I'll revise that travel plan.
2004-02-27 11:14:08 AM  

I also own a curly hair tarantula (Brachypelma albopilosum). They both rule!
2004-02-27 11:17:23 AM  
Dear God, this thread has made me physically sick.

Can't. Sleep. Spiders. Will. Eat. Me.
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