FARK.com: (8437880) An Australian wonders why Americans are so damned happy all the time. Surprisingly, "Because our ecosystem doesn't consist of nothing but deadly murderous insects, snakes and sea creatures" is not the answer

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		An Australian wonders why Americans are so damned happy all the time. Surprisingly, "Because our ecosystem doesn't consist of nothing but deadly murderous insects, snakes and sea creatures" is not the answer (cracked.com)		115
		More: Amusing

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5063 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Oct 2014 at 10:12 AM (8 years ago) | Favorite | share:

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dittybopper

2014-10-03 8:00:42 AM

Actually, he understands it perfectly well:

Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners, who are clearly all just miserable because because they don't realize how awesome it is to be born into the greatest, most wonderful nation on Earth.

The only quibble I have with that is he is missing the "that has ever existed in the history of the World" on the end of that sentence.

nekom

2014-10-03 9:19:57 AM

I can't even imagine a life WITHOUT a huge damn lawn. And a garden. And a few acres of adjacent wooded property. And an extra house we use as a shed. It's good to own land. REALLY good.

dittybopper

2014-10-03 9:53:16 AM

nekom: I can't even imagine a life WITHOUT a huge damn lawn. And a garden. And a few acres of adjacent wooded property. And an extra house we use as a shed. It's good to own land. REALLY good.

You probably wouldn't feel that way if the land was in Asstralia.

nekom

2014-10-03 9:56:52 AM

dittybopper:
You probably wouldn't feel that way if the land was in Asstralia.

No, I prefer my snakes harmless and no large creatures with sharp teeth.

Well, there are supposedly copperheads around here but I've never actually seen one. Rattlesnakes up in the mountains, also never saw one. Once in a blue moon a bear will wander down from the mountains looking for food or employment. But more or less the only real danger of critters here is rabies.

Walker

2014-10-03 10:09:28 AM

Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.

tonguedepressor

2014-10-03 10:14:16 AM

Nopealia

tricycleracer

2014-10-03 10:14:58 AM

Blizzocked at work. Reader's Digest version?

jwookie

2014-10-03 10:16:32 AM

nekom: dittybopper:
You probably wouldn't feel that way if the land was in Asstralia.

No, I prefer my snakes harmless and no large creatures with sharp teeth.

Well, there are supposedly copperheads around here but I've never actually seen one. Rattlesnakes up in the mountains, also never saw one. Once in a blue moon a bear will wander down from the mountains looking for food or employment. But more or less the only real danger of critters here is rabies.

We have mamma grizzlies and cougars that occasionally have a taste for man meat.

Benni K Rok

2014-10-03 10:17:24 AM

nekom: dittybopper:
You probably wouldn't feel that way if the land was in Asstralia.

No, I prefer my snakes harmless and no large creatures with sharp teeth.

Well, there are supposedly copperheads around here but I've never actually seen one. Rattlesnakes up in the mountains, also never saw one. Once in a blue moon a bear will wander down from the mountains looking for food or employment. But more or less the only real danger of critters here is rabies.

What, are they going to join the Navy or something?

LadySusan

2014-10-03 10:17:36 AM

We're all hopped up on goofballs like celexa and topomax?

Destructor

2014-10-03 10:20:02 AM

dittybopper: Actually, he understands it perfectly well:

Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners, who are clearly all just miserable because because they don't realize how awesome it is to be born into the greatest, most wonderful nation on Earth.

The only quibble I have with that is he is missing the "that has ever existed in the history of the World" on the end of that sentence.

I can see why that's a problem. The socialists are trying hard to get us to stop. You know, share the misery equally.

Ragin' Asian

2014-10-03 10:22:46 AM

Cracked has an entertaining article? If it weren't a slideshow, I'd think the world is ending.

Big Beef Burrito

2014-10-03 10:23:14 AM

Walker: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.

Did a three week vacation to a few Northern European countries recently, and for us it was The Dutch that were the biggest Eeyores. Don't know why, and I'm sure it's a small sample size, it was just...interesting.

Both in The Netherlands and Flanders.

*shrug*

K3rmy

2014-10-03 10:23:36 AM

I thought it was because Pharrel was found actually to have a new strain of ebola virus and everyone in the US was slowly being infected.

HAPPY EBOLA!!

Pharrel says, "I can rock a straw hat and still look awesome. That is the power of being happy I don't live on Crikey Island"

trappedspirit

2014-10-03 10:23:43 AM

An Australian wonders why Americans are so damned happy all the time. Surprisingly, "Because our ecosystem doesn't consist of nothing but deadly murderous insects, snakes and sea creatures" is not the answer

Yeah, well, if you are Australian you probably spend most of your day sitting on the floor, rocking, looking at shiny objects and winning at blackjack so, you can just keep your opinions to yourself.

give me doughnuts

2014-10-03 10:26:22 AM

Even the farking trees in Australia want to to die in agony.

KeatingFive

2014-10-03 10:27:54 AM

Pumpernickel bread

2014-10-03 10:28:14 AM

I is skeptical. This one guy might be a miserable schlub, but are Australians in general? I would want to see the results of an actual study. Granted, the only Aussies I know of are Greg Norman and Crocodile Dundee, but they seem like pretty happy guys to me. Oh and Jim Jeffries. Now he seems like a miserable guy.

abhorrent1

2014-10-03 10:29:15 AM

And in America, lawns are hardly ever surrounded by fences or hedges or a barbed-wire demilitarized zone, like they would be in normal countries.

Um...wat?

Sin_City_Superhero

2014-10-03 10:29:33 AM

Ragin' Asian: Cracked has an entertaining article? If it weren't a slideshow, I'd think the world is ending.

A four-item list spread over 2 pages. Gotta love Cracked. Or not....

give me doughnuts

2014-10-03 10:29:49 AM

Big Beef Burrito: Both in The Netherlands and Flanders.

Seems cheerful enough:

Persnickety

2014-10-03 10:30:39 AM

Meh, he's probably not actually depressed. It's likely just hypoxia from living up in all that thin Alpine air. Take off the damn lederhosen and climb down off your mountain, you miserable foreigner.

tripleseven

2014-10-03 10:31:33 AM

England, you know, fish chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, England.

Pho Cue

2014-10-03 10:32:55 AM

You know who ELSE couldn't figure out why Americans are so happy?

EyeballKid

2014-10-03 10:33:11 AM

Yeah. Ignorance is bliss.

Sin_City_Superhero

2014-10-03 10:33:16 AM

Harden the fark up, Australia! NSFW language

PanicMan

2014-10-03 10:36:11 AM

Americans are happy all the time? Since when?

Publikwerks

2014-10-03 10:36:22 AM

abhorrent1: And in America, lawns are hardly ever surrounded by fences or hedges or a barbed-wire demilitarized zone, like they would be in normal countries.

Um...wat?

He's Australian. If they don't put up barbed wire, a bugabudieboo or some other drunk named animal thing will come in the night to eat their dog and lay eggs in their anus.

abhorrent1

2014-10-03 10:36:50 AM

And I guarantee you that in this situation, when you're there trying to stutter out some dignified last words and prepare yourself for the end, your American companion will cheerily blurt out something like: "Oh, don't worry. Everything will turn out fine!"

Maybe the rest of you all wouldn't be so farking miserable if you didn't just give up and accept your fate at the first sign of adversity. Man up and grow a farking pair, you bed wetting pansies.

juvandy

2014-10-03 10:38:18 AM

As an American in Australia, I think it's the exact opposite. The average Australian I've met here is far happier than most of the Americans I know. Also more sane.... and FAR less paranoid.... but maybe a tad more racist?

Sin_City_Superhero

2014-10-03 10:41:21 AM

A lot of foreigners wonder why Americans do stuff like this:

I wonder why they don't.

Publikwerks

2014-10-03 10:44:23 AM

abhorrent1: And I guarantee you that in this situation, when you're there trying to stutter out some dignified last words and prepare yourself for the end, your American companion will cheerily blurt out something like: "Oh, don't worry. Everything will turn out fine!"

Maybe the rest of you all wouldn't be so farking miserable if you didn't just give up and accept your fate at the first sign of adversity. Man up and grow a farking pair, you bed wetting pansies.

...and get a gun.

Mudd's woman

2014-10-03 10:44:25 AM

tripleseven: Walker: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.

England, you know, fish chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary farking Poppins, England.

Just trying to tidy things up ;)

kling_klang_bed

2014-10-03 10:47:15 AM

dittybopper: Americans probably don't realize how ~~crazy optimistic~~ miserable and poor they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy ~~foreigners~~ invaders, who are clearly all just miserable because because they don't realize how awesome it is to be born into the greatest, most wonderful nation on Earth.

abhorrent1

2014-10-03 10:49:03 AM

Publikwerks: abhorrent1: And I guarantee you that in this situation, when you're there trying to stutter out some dignified last words and prepare yourself for the end, your American companion will cheerily blurt out something like: "Oh, don't worry. Everything will turn out fine!"

Maybe the rest of you all wouldn't be so farking miserable if you didn't just give up and accept your fate at the first sign of adversity. Man up and grow a farking pair, you bed wetting pansies.

[www.thefirearmblog.com image 650x466]
...and get a gun.

Well, Happiness is a warm gun after all

Jim.Casy

2014-10-03 10:49:58 AM

tripleseven: England, you know, fish chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, England.

"Anything to declare?"
"Yeah, don't go to England!"

Marshmallow Jones

2014-10-03 10:50:43 AM

Bigger lawn = neighbors are further away.

I dont get the gigantic fast food either. Farking disgusting.

tripleseven

2014-10-03 10:52:20 AM

Mudd's woman: tripleseven: Walker: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.

England, you know, fish chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary farking Poppins, England.

Just trying to tidy things up ;)

Ah shiat, I stand corrected...

I don't like leaving my country Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less than warm sandy beaches and cocktails with little straw hats

pxlboy

2014-10-03 11:00:07 AM

Jim.Casy: tripleseven: England, you know, fish chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, England.

"Anything to declare?"
"Yeah, don't go to England!"

Classic.

dittybopper

2014-10-03 11:01:39 AM

KeatingFive: dittybopper: Actually, he understands it perfectly well:

Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners, who are clearly all just miserable because because they don't realize how awesome it is to be born into the greatest, most wonderful nation on Earth.

The only quibble I have with that is he is missing the "that has ever existed in the history of the World" on the end of that sentence. GUNS GUNS GUNS!

That's just a small part of it.

Like, maybe 10%.

Mudd's woman

2014-10-03 11:03:55 AM

tripleseven: Mudd's woman: tripleseven: Walker: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.

England, you know, fish chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary farking Poppins, England.

Just trying to tidy things up ;)

Ah shiat, I stand corrected...

I don't like leaving my country Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less than warm sandy beaches and cocktails with little straw hats

nice

PC LOAD LETTER

2014-10-03 11:05:31 AM

Cold_Sassy

2014-10-03 11:06:08 AM

I don't live there but one time a few years ago I spent about a week and a half in WV checking out the New River Gorge and Monongahela National Forest areas, and while the state has some absolutely breathtaking beauty, all of the locals were depressed as fark and that was sad.

/Red River Gorge FTW (IMO)

trappedspirit

2014-10-03 11:09:57 AM

Ragin' Asian: Cracked has an entertaining article? If it weren't a slideshow, I'd think the world is ending.

Hitting that "Next" link really threw you off your game?

dittybopper

2014-10-03 11:10:21 AM

It's my contention that somewhere between the "Bon Scott AC/DC - Mad Max - The Road Warrior" era, and the current era ushered in by The Wiggles, Australia lost its collective testicles.

I don't know how, or why, but sure as shiat, it happened. And I mourn for the Australia that once was.

tripleseven

2014-10-03 11:11:09 AM

trappedspirit: Ragin' Asian: Cracked has an entertaining article? If it weren't a slideshow, I'd think the world is ending.

Hitting that "Next" link really threw you off your game?

It's just Cracked.coms way of increasing impressions. I don't begrudge them, they're letting me read it for free.

pxlboy

2014-10-03 11:12:11 AM

Cold_Sassy: Walker: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.

I don't live there but one time a few years ago I spent about a week and a half in WV checking out the New River Gorge and Monongahela National Forest areas, and while the state has some absolutely breathtaking beauty, all of the locals were depressed as fark and that was sad.

/Red River Gorge FTW (IMO)

I recently moved to Washington and have been (and continue to be) simply blown away by the natural beauty up here. They say that people are depressed because of the weather or the (so I've heard) early sunsets in the winter.

I can see Mt Rainier from my office window or the high street by my apartment and it's always such an incredible sight.

I may have had a point in all this, but yeah, I see what you mean -- people need to look around at natural beauty around them.

Victoly

2014-10-03 11:12:23 AM

We've got sandy beaches

tripleseven

2014-10-03 11:12:28 AM

dittybopper: It's my contention that somewhere between the "Bon Scott AC/DC - Mad Max - The Road Warrior" era, and the current era ushered in by The Wiggles, Australia lost its collective testicles.

I don't know how, or why, but sure as shiat, it happened. And I mourn for the Australia that once was.

Because we all know that the key to strength is testicles, amirite?

I won't ask if you've ever been there to actually know what you're mourning.

Walker

2014-10-03 11:15:06 AM

Well duh, it's West Virginia.

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