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(Cracked)   An Australian wonders why Americans are so damned happy all the time. Surprisingly, "Because our ecosystem doesn't consist of nothing but deadly murderous insects, snakes and sea creatures" is not the answer   (cracked.com) divider line
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4959 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Oct 2014 at 10:12 AM (6 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2014-10-03 8:00:42 AM  
Actually, he understands it perfectly well:

Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners, who are clearly all just miserable because because they don't realize how awesome it is to be born into the greatest, most wonderful nation on Earth.

The only quibble I have with that is he is missing the "that has ever existed in the history of the World" on the end of that sentence.
 
2014-10-03 9:19:57 AM  
I can't even imagine a life WITHOUT a huge damn lawn.  And a garden.  And a few acres of adjacent wooded property.  And an extra house we use as a shed.  It's good to own land.  REALLY good.
 
2014-10-03 9:53:16 AM  

nekom: I can't even imagine a life WITHOUT a huge damn lawn.  And a garden.  And a few acres of adjacent wooded property.  And an extra house we use as a shed.  It's good to own land.  REALLY good.


You probably wouldn't feel that way if the land was in Asstralia.
 
2014-10-03 9:56:52 AM  
dittybopper:
You probably wouldn't feel that way if the land was in Asstralia.

No, I prefer my snakes harmless and no large creatures with sharp teeth.

Well, there are supposedly copperheads around here but I've never actually seen one.  Rattlesnakes up in the mountains, also never saw one.  Once in a blue moon a bear will wander down from the mountains looking for food or employment.  But more or less the only real danger of critters here is rabies.
 
2014-10-03 10:09:28 AM  
Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.
 
2014-10-03 10:14:16 AM  
Nopealia
 
2014-10-03 10:14:58 AM  
Blizzocked at work.  Reader's Digest version?
 
2014-10-03 10:16:32 AM  

nekom: dittybopper:
You probably wouldn't feel that way if the land was in Asstralia.

No, I prefer my snakes harmless and no large creatures with sharp teeth.

Well, there are supposedly copperheads around here but I've never actually seen one.  Rattlesnakes up in the mountains, also never saw one.  Once in a blue moon a bear will wander down from the mountains looking for food or employment.  But more or less the only real danger of critters here is rabies.


We have mamma grizzlies and cougars that occasionally have a taste for man meat.
 
2014-10-03 10:17:24 AM  

nekom: dittybopper:
You probably wouldn't feel that way if the land was in Asstralia.

No, I prefer my snakes harmless and no large creatures with sharp teeth.

Well, there are supposedly copperheads around here but I've never actually seen one.  Rattlesnakes up in the mountains, also never saw one.  Once in a blue moon a bear will wander down from the mountains looking for food or employment.  But more or less the only real danger of critters here is rabies.


What, are they going to join the Navy or something?
 
2014-10-03 10:17:36 AM  
We're all hopped up on goofballs like celexa and topomax?
 
2014-10-03 10:20:02 AM  

dittybopper: Actually, he understands it perfectly well:

Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners, who are clearly all just miserable because because they don't realize how awesome it is to be born into the greatest, most wonderful nation on Earth.

The only quibble I have with that is he is missing the "that has ever existed in the history of the World" on the end of that sentence.


I can see why that's a problem. The socialists are trying hard to get us to stop. You know, share the misery equally.
 
2014-10-03 10:22:46 AM  
Cracked has an entertaining article? If it weren't a slideshow, I'd think the world is ending.
 
2014-10-03 10:23:14 AM  

Walker: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.


Did a three week vacation to a few Northern European countries recently, and for us it was The Dutch that were the biggest Eeyores. Don't know why, and I'm sure it's a small sample size, it was just...interesting.

Both in The Netherlands and Flanders.

*shrug*
 
2014-10-03 10:23:36 AM  
I thought it was because Pharrel was found actually to have a new strain of ebola virus and everyone in the US was slowly being infected.

HAPPY EBOLA!!

everyinstrumental.comView Full Size


Pharrel says, "I can rock a straw hat and still look awesome.  That is the power of being happy I don't live on Crikey Island"
 
2014-10-03 10:23:43 AM  
An Australian wonders why Americans are so damned happy all the time. Surprisingly, "Because our ecosystem doesn't consist of nothing but deadly murderous insects, snakes and sea creatures" is not the answer

Yeah, well, if you are Australian you probably spend most of your day sitting on the floor, rocking, looking at shiny objects and winning at blackjack so, you can just keep your opinions to yourself.
 
2014-10-03 10:26:22 AM  
Even the farking trees in Australia want to to die in agony.
 
2014-10-03 10:27:54 AM  
dittybopper: Actually, he understands it perfectly well:

Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners, who are clearly all just miserable because because they don't realize how awesome it is to be born into the greatest, most wonderful nation on Earth.

The only quibble I have with that is he is missing the "that has ever existed in the history of the World" on the end of that sentence.
 GUNS GUNS GUNS!
 
2014-10-03 10:28:14 AM  
I is skeptical.  This one guy might be a miserable schlub, but are Australians in general?  I would want to see the results of an actual study.  Granted, the only Aussies I know of are Greg Norman and Crocodile Dundee, but they seem like pretty happy guys to me.  Oh and Jim Jeffries.   Now he seems like a miserable guy.
 
2014-10-03 10:29:15 AM  
And in America, lawns are hardly ever surrounded by fences or hedges or a barbed-wire demilitarized zone, like they would be in normal countries.

Um...wat?
 
2014-10-03 10:29:33 AM  

Ragin' Asian: Cracked has an entertaining article? If it weren't a slideshow, I'd think the world is ending.


A four-item list spread over 2 pages. Gotta love Cracked. Or not....
 
2014-10-03 10:29:49 AM  

Big Beef Burrito: Both in The Netherlands and Flanders.



Seems cheerful enough:
bbsimg.ngfiles.comView Full Size
 
2014-10-03 10:30:39 AM  
Meh, he's probably not actually depressed.  It's likely just hypoxia from living up in all that thin Alpine air.  Take off the damn lederhosen and climb down off your mountain, you miserable foreigner.
 
2014-10-03 10:31:33 AM  

Walker: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.


England, you know, fish chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, England.
 
2014-10-03 10:32:55 AM  
You know who ELSE couldn't figure out why Americans are so happy?
 
2014-10-03 10:33:11 AM  
Yeah. Ignorance is bliss.
 
2014-10-03 10:33:16 AM  
 
2014-10-03 10:36:11 AM  
Americans are happy all the time? Since when?
 
2014-10-03 10:36:22 AM  

abhorrent1: And in America, lawns are hardly ever surrounded by fences or hedges or a barbed-wire demilitarized zone, like they would be in normal countries.

Um...wat?


He's Australian. If they don't put up barbed wire, a bugabudieboo or some other drunk named animal thing will come in the night  to eat their dog and lay eggs in their anus.
 
2014-10-03 10:36:50 AM  
And I guarantee you that in this situation, when you're there trying to stutter out some dignified last words and prepare yourself for the end, your American companion will cheerily blurt out something like: "Oh, don't worry. Everything will turn out fine!"


Maybe the rest of you all wouldn't be so farking miserable if you didn't just give up and accept your fate at the first sign of adversity. Man up and grow a farking pair, you bed wetting pansies.
 
2014-10-03 10:38:18 AM  
As an American in Australia, I think it's the exact opposite.  The average Australian I've met here is far happier than most of the Americans I know.  Also more sane.... and FAR less paranoid.... but maybe a tad more racist?
 
2014-10-03 10:41:21 AM  
A lot of foreigners wonder why Americans do stuff like this:

smashinglists.comView Full Size


i1.ytimg.comView Full Size


epicportions.comView Full Size


I wonder why they don't.
 
2014-10-03 10:44:23 AM  

abhorrent1: And I guarantee you that in this situation, when you're there trying to stutter out some dignified last words and prepare yourself for the end, your American companion will cheerily blurt out something like: "Oh, don't worry. Everything will turn out fine!"


Maybe the rest of you all wouldn't be so farking miserable if you didn't just give up and accept your fate at the first sign of adversity. Man up and grow a farking pair, you bed wetting pansies.


thefirearmblog.comView Full Size
 
...and get a gun.
 
2014-10-03 10:44:25 AM  

tripleseven: Walker: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.

England, you know, fish chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary farking Poppins, England.


Just trying to tidy things up ;)
 
2014-10-03 10:47:15 AM  

dittybopper: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic miserable and poor they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners invaders, who are clearly all just miserable because because they don't realize how awesome it is to be born into the greatest, most wonderful nation on Earth.

cbc.caView Full Size

 
2014-10-03 10:49:03 AM  

Publikwerks: abhorrent1: And I guarantee you that in this situation, when you're there trying to stutter out some dignified last words and prepare yourself for the end, your American companion will cheerily blurt out something like: "Oh, don't worry. Everything will turn out fine!"


Maybe the rest of you all wouldn't be so farking miserable if you didn't just give up and accept your fate at the first sign of adversity. Man up and grow a farking pair, you bed wetting pansies.

[www.thefirearmblog.com image 650x466] 
...and get a gun.


Well, Happiness is a warm gun after all
 
2014-10-03 10:49:58 AM  

tripleseven: England, you know, fish chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, England.


"Anything to declare?"
"Yeah, don't go to England!"
 
2014-10-03 10:50:43 AM  
Bigger lawn = neighbors are further away.

I dont get the gigantic fast food either.  Farking disgusting.
 
2014-10-03 10:52:20 AM  

Mudd's woman: tripleseven: Walker: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.

England, you know, fish chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary farking Poppins, England.

Just trying to tidy things up ;)


Ah shiat, I stand corrected...

I don't like leaving my country Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less than warm sandy beaches and cocktails with little straw hats
 
2014-10-03 11:00:07 AM  

Jim.Casy: tripleseven: England, you know, fish chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, England.

"Anything to declare?"
"Yeah, don't go to England!"


Classic.
 
2014-10-03 11:01:39 AM  

KeatingFive: dittybopper: Actually, he understands it perfectly well:

Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners, who are clearly all just miserable because because they don't realize how awesome it is to be born into the greatest, most wonderful nation on Earth.

The only quibble I have with that is he is missing the "that has ever existed in the history of the World" on the end of that sentence.
 GUNS GUNS GUNS!


That's just a small part of it.

Like, maybe 10%.
 
2014-10-03 11:03:55 AM  

tripleseven: Mudd's woman: tripleseven: Walker: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.

England, you know, fish chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary farking Poppins, England.

Just trying to tidy things up ;)

Ah shiat, I stand corrected...

I don't like leaving my country Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less than warm sandy beaches and cocktails with little straw hats


nice
 
2014-10-03 11:05:31 AM  
concept420.comView Full Size
 
2014-10-03 11:06:08 AM  

Walker: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.


I don't live there but one time a few years ago I spent about a week and a half in WV checking out the New River Gorge and Monongahela National Forest areas, and while the state has some absolutely breathtaking beauty, all of the locals were depressed as fark and that was sad.

/Red River Gorge FTW (IMO)
 
2014-10-03 11:09:57 AM  

Ragin' Asian: Cracked has an entertaining article? If it weren't a slideshow, I'd think the world is ending.


Hitting that "Next" link really threw you off your game?
 
2014-10-03 11:10:21 AM  
It's my contention that somewhere between the "Bon Scott AC/DC - Mad Max - The Road Warrior" era, and the current era ushered in by The Wiggles, Australia lost its collective testicles.

I don't know how, or why, but sure as shiat, it happened.  And I mourn for the Australia that once was.
 
2014-10-03 11:11:09 AM  

trappedspirit: Ragin' Asian: Cracked has an entertaining article? If it weren't a slideshow, I'd think the world is ending.

Hitting that "Next" link really threw you off your game?


It's just Cracked.coms way of increasing impressions.  I don't begrudge them, they're letting me read it for free.
 
2014-10-03 11:12:11 AM  

Cold_Sassy: Walker: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.

I don't live there but one time a few years ago I spent about a week and a half in WV checking out the New River Gorge and Monongahela National Forest areas, and while the state has some absolutely breathtaking beauty, all of the locals were depressed as fark and that was sad.

/Red River Gorge FTW (IMO)


I recently moved to Washington and have been (and continue to be) simply blown away by the natural beauty up here. They say that people are depressed because of the weather or the (so I've heard) early sunsets in the winter.

I can see Mt Rainier from my office window or the high street by my apartment and it's always such an incredible sight.

I may have had a point in all this, but yeah, I see what you mean -- people need to look around at natural beauty around them.
 
2014-10-03 11:12:23 AM  

tripleseven: Mudd's woman: tripleseven: Walker: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.

England, you know, fish chips, cup o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary farking Poppins, England.

Just trying to tidy things up ;)

Ah shiat, I stand corrected...

I don't like leaving my country Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less than warm sandy beaches and cocktails with little straw hats


We've got sandy beaches
 
2014-10-03 11:12:28 AM  

dittybopper: It's my contention that somewhere between the "Bon Scott AC/DC - Mad Max - The Road Warrior" era, and the current era ushered in by The Wiggles, Australia lost its collective testicles.

I don't know how, or why, but sure as shiat, it happened.  And I mourn for the Australia that once was.


Because we all know that the key to strength is testicles, amirite?

I won't ask if you've ever been there to actually know what you're mourning.
 
2014-10-03 11:15:06 AM  

Cold_Sassy: Walker: Americans probably don't realize how crazy optimistic they are until they're forced to hang around gloomy foreigners

True dat.

I travel a lot and some other countries do have very depressed looking people, especially England, but then again it's England. Rainy and gloomy there most of the time. No wonder they get drunk so much. Riding the tube was like riding the death train to Auschwitz. Everyone looked depressed. This might be more of a European thing. People seemed to be happier in Caribbean and Central/South American countries.

I don't live there but one time a few years ago I spent about a week and a half in WV checking out the New River Gorge and Monongahela National Forest areas, and while the state has some absolutely breathtaking beauty, all of the locals were depressed as fark and that was sad.

/Red River Gorge FTW (IMO)


Well duh, it's West Virginia.
 
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