Skip to content
Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(My High Plains)   Man takes 1d8 damage from short spear while attempting to burgle the home of a medieval weapons enthusiast   (myhighplains.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

7044 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Sep 2014 at 2:46 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



171 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2014-09-19 1:27:43 PM  
Short spear only does 1d6.

/nerd cred
 
2014-09-19 1:33:18 PM  
Second Amendment solution.

No, seriously:  It says "arms", not "firearms".
 
2014-09-19 2:18:07 PM  
"you never cross your legs"

Words to live by.
 
2014-09-19 2:21:30 PM  

Yaw String: Short spear only does 1d6.

/nerd cred


1d8 against medium sized creatures in Pathfinder,1d6 against small.
 
2014-09-19 2:44:58 PM  
D&D v3.5

dmg(s) 1d4
dmg(m)1d6

different system = different damage.
 
2014-09-19 2:49:08 PM  
You KNOCK before entering his mom's basement.
 
2014-09-19 2:49:25 PM  
Nerdiest thread on Fark, ever? I don't know, but it's off to a fantastic start....High-capacity spears, semi-auto spears....when spears are outlawed, only outlaws will have spears...
 
2014-09-19 2:49:42 PM  
Well, there's a story for SCA event campfires for years to come.
 
2014-09-19 2:50:25 PM  
SAVING THROW; SAVING THROW!
 
2014-09-19 2:51:40 PM  
2nd ed: damage is d6/d8.

I want a medieval weapons collection now...
 
2014-09-19 2:52:02 PM  
Jeans and a t-shirt = AC 10

Old sc
 
2014-09-19 2:52:09 PM  
Was he using it one or two handed?  Or was he dual wielding them?
 
2014-09-19 2:52:52 PM  
"I am a Christian man and I don't want to take life, however I want to make sure that he understands that his life was mine to take. I let him have it."

SCA dude is hardcore. As is his due he demands your allegiance for sparing his life. Perhaps if you serve well your son may be elevated to page at court.
 
2014-09-19 2:52:58 PM  
 
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2014-09-19 2:53:02 PM  

Anderson's Pooper: Jeans and a t-shirt = AC 10

Old school AD&D


FTFM
 
2014-09-19 2:53:02 PM  

ArkPanda: Was he using it one or two handed?  Or was he dual wielding them?


What combat feats does he have to back up his spear?
 
2014-09-19 2:53:24 PM  
I don't own a gun, but I am pretty sure that I could put a couple of feet of steel between a home invader's lunch and dinner faster than a gun safe can open. I don't need to know where his lunch and dinner are, because once his guts are on my floor I can probably point them out.

Short-handled sledge hammers are also extremely useful for melee home defense.

/ITG
 
2014-09-19 2:54:15 PM  
So would a guy with an AR-15 be a modern weapons enthusiast?
 
2014-09-19 2:54:17 PM  

Anderson's Pooper: Jeans and a t-shirt = AC 10

Old sc


The only way to play
 
2014-09-19 2:54:47 PM  
media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2014-09-19 2:54:58 PM  
Relevant


LIGHTNING BOLT!
 
2014-09-19 2:55:15 PM  
I, for one, appreciate the use of burgle instead of the more popular "burglarize".   I would like to do away with saying we should incentivize people to do things, when we merely want to incent them to do them, but I suspect that ship has long since sailed.
 
2014-09-19 2:55:22 PM  
Magic Missile....at the darkness!!!
 
2014-09-19 2:56:39 PM  
That's why you gotta work on that THACO
 
2014-09-19 2:56:42 PM  

Dave and the Mission: I, for one, appreciate the use of burgle instead of the more popular "burglarize".


I was going to mention this. It left the thread open for an argument about dice instead.
 
2014-09-19 2:57:29 PM  

Anderson's Pooper: Jeans and a t-shirt = AC 10

fc09.deviantart.netView Full Size


Flak Armor and Lasgun = Tissue paper and flashlight
 
2014-09-19 2:58:10 PM  

cgraves67: So would a guy with an AR-15 be a modern weapons enthusiast?


Not really.  The design is over 60 years old now.
 
2014-09-19 2:58:45 PM  
That dude better get into a better line of work.

/maybe Band-Aid commercials
 
2014-09-19 2:58:55 PM  

Anderson's Pooper: Anderson's Pooper: Jeans and a t-shirt = AC 10

Old school AD&D

FTFM


Depends on his dexterity.
 
2014-09-19 3:01:15 PM  

sabbacca: That's why you gotta work on that THACO


THAC0, not THACO.

And besides, BAB makes way more sense.
 
2014-09-19 3:01:33 PM  
dittybopper: Second Amendment Edition solution.

No, seriously:  It says "arms", not "firearms".


It's all about the THAC0.
 
2014-09-19 3:01:48 PM  
Now that's a sticky situation.
 
2014-09-19 3:02:10 PM  
is it wrong that I wanted so badly for the spear wielder's name to be Chuck?
 
2014-09-19 3:02:41 PM  
+1 subby, but -1 for using the word "enthusiast" and not the word "expert."
 
2014-09-19 3:03:19 PM  

MythDragon: Anderson's Pooper: Jeans and a t-shirt = AC 10
[fc09.deviantart.net image 850x345]

Flak Armor and Lasgun = Tissue paper and flashlight


yea but enough flashlights will fark your Terminators eventually.
 
2014-09-19 3:04:04 PM  
The funniest part of this entire article:

"Police say they later found out the stolen car McGowan was driving actually belonged to McGowan who had failed to report to police that he had recovered his car after reporting stolen."

Man, I wasn't even supposed to be here today!
 
2014-09-19 3:04:46 PM  
Sometimes you're the spearchucker and sometimes you're the spearchuckee.  It's always best to be the spearchucker.
 
2014-09-19 3:05:17 PM  

with great power comes great insanity: Anderson's Pooper: Anderson's Pooper: Jeans and a t-shirt = AC 10

Old school AD&D

FTFM

Depends on his dexterity.


I saw the pic.  He didn't look too dextrous.
 
2014-09-19 3:06:07 PM  
well i'd say he missed his saving throw.
 
2014-09-19 3:06:24 PM  

Prey4reign: Sometimes you're the spearchucker and sometimes you're the spearchuckee.  It's always best to be the spearchucker.



The SpearChuckler sounds like a DC villian cross between the Joker and Hawkeye.
 
2014-09-19 3:06:39 PM  
That's why whenever I break into someone's home, I always bring a rust monster with me.
 
2014-09-19 3:07:52 PM  

Lord_Baull: +1 subby, but -1 for using the word "enthusiast" and not the word "expert."


Well he only beat a single unarmed and unarmored dude. We'll need to see some more fights before we go with "expert".
 
2014-09-19 3:07:55 PM  

IgG4: Yaw String: Short spear only does 1d6.

/nerd cred

1d8 against medium sized creatures in Pathfinder,1d6 against small.


Was this guy charging?  Because double damage if the spear was set to receive it.

Anderson's Pooper: He didn't look too dextrous.


He should have gone with being a fighter.
 
2014-09-19 3:09:19 PM  

Skyrmion: dittybopper: Second Amendment Edition solution.

No, seriously:  It says "arms", not "firearms".

It's all about the THAC0.


Pathfinder > D&D 3.5 > D&D 3.0 > AD&D 2 > AD&D 1 > D&D > D&D 4
 
2014-09-19 3:09:47 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Anderson's Pooper: Jeans and a t-shirt = AC 10

Old sc

The only way to play


Harrumph!!
 
2014-09-19 3:09:53 PM  
Hey subs...
fc02.deviantart.netView Full Size



I see what you did there.  and there.  and over there.  and back there.  and way over there too.  Ok...you know what?  I saw it all.
 
2014-09-19 3:10:12 PM  

To The Escape Zeppelin!: "I am a Christian man and I don't want to take life, however I want to make sure that he understands that his life was mine to take. I let him have it."

SCA dude is hardcore. As is his due he demands your allegiance for sparing his life. Perhaps if you serve well your son may be elevated to page at court.


Also came here to mock this exact line.  I remember playing DnD but I don't ever recall taking it this seriously. The only time my life has ever been in anyone's hands was a particularly toothy BJ, and it is unsettling.
 
2014-09-19 3:10:18 PM  
Meh. My katana does 1d10 with a 2x critical on 18-20.
 
2014-09-19 3:11:24 PM  

meanmutton: sabbacca: That's why you gotta work on that THACO

THAC0, not THACO.

And besides, BAB makes way more sense.


Dammit they never explained that to me in the Marine core.
 
2014-09-19 3:12:24 PM  

Cantankerous Gnome: That's why whenever I break into someone's home, I always bring a rust monster with me.


Proactive, very nice.
 
Displayed 50 of 171 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.