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(   Pat Robertson gains superhuman powers with protein shake   ( divider line
    More: PSA  
•       •       •

4650 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Dec 2001 at 4:24 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

88 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-12-12 04:27:08 PM  
2001-12-12 04:27:14 PM  
jack neat - my power shake
2001-12-12 04:27:59 PM  
One of Pat's secrets to keeping his energy high and his vitality soaring is his age-defying protein shake. Pat developed a delicious, refreshing shake, filled with energy-producing nutrients, like pink crystal meth.
2001-12-12 04:28:24 PM  
that guy is a dick.
2001-12-12 04:28:42 PM  
I'll give Pat Robertson a protein shake.....

2001-12-12 04:29:23 PM  
I thought he lived on the heat generated by his goddamn unending preaching, the prejudiced fanatic.
2001-12-12 04:29:30 PM  
Ewww... you have to register to view the recipe. No fair!
2001-12-12 04:30:15 PM  
Dear TeenHealthFX,
My Boyfriend said that swallowing his "protein shake" will give me super human strength, should I try it?

Signed: Clueless
2001-12-12 04:30:30 PM  
the secret lies in his ability to transubstantiate the soy protein in the shake into the body of jesus christ...
2001-12-12 04:30:40 PM  
No problem, I just registered as Fb
2001-12-12 04:31:59 PM  
pat robertson leg presses 600 pounds by sliding low and using his back
2001-12-12 04:33:30 PM  
2001-12-12 04:34:05 PM  
Dear Clueless,
YES! It also works as a wonderful 'facial' cleanser.

hee hee :)
2001-12-12 04:34:08 PM  
The Revolution against Evolution loves Pat.

BTW, I always thought he was a vampire. Sucking funds from churches dry, and what not.
2001-12-12 04:36:35 PM  
oh . . .my . . . .God . . . . . .I think I just sprained my funny bone. Seriosuly, does this man have any self respect or public standing left?
2001-12-12 04:37:24 PM  
2001-12-12 04:37:58 PM  
An image of a giant Pat knocking over buildings just popped into my head. That bastard must be stopped before it's too late.

Or perhaps I just need to get some rest.

2001-12-12 04:38:04 PM  
Holy crap. Gotta be one of the funniest clips I've read on Fark.
2001-12-12 04:38:19 PM  
haha, crazy Pat Robertson drinking jizz shakes. Will that guy never get off his knees?
2001-12-12 04:39:02 PM  
omygod! Photoshop of Pat Robertson toppling buildings like Godzilla!
2001-12-12 04:39:41 PM  
Actually I have it from a good source that he derives his super-human abilities from gay sex. It's no coincidence that most super hero's wear bright colors and spandex. They rarely have love interests either. Think about it. Gays are almost always in better shape than straights, much nicer in personality and overall better citizens. I suggest most super hero's are gay. And that is a good thing.

However Robertson is a jackass so my source must be mistaken.
2001-12-12 04:39:43 PM  
Soon they'll be breeding us like cattle! You've got to warn everyone and tell them! His protein shake is made of people! You've got to tell them! His protein shake is people!
2001-12-12 04:39:44 PM  
had to come in and make my own protein shake = semen = Pat Robertson sux cox joke.

i feel much better now.
2001-12-12 04:39:44 PM  
Must... cross.. the streams!!
2001-12-12 04:41:13 PM  
How 'bout a nice protein shake?[image from too old to be available]
2001-12-12 04:41:31 PM  
would you like a straw with that?
2001-12-12 04:45:26 PM  
Sister Robertson, oh the time has come
And you know that you're the only one to say
Where you goin', what you looking for?
You know those boys don't want to play no more with you
It's true

You're motoring
What's your price for flight,
And finding Mister Right?
You'll be all right tonight
2001-12-12 04:47:33 PM  
Now I know where I can put all this cyanide.

ps: If you're reading this Mr Ashcroft, please don't send your stormtroopers to rough me up. I am joking. I do not posess any cyanide or arsenic or any lethal chemicals aside from those found inside the six-month-old casserole in the back of my fridge. And don't worry, I'm not even going to touch that. I would, however, sell said casserole of death to your thought police so they can use it to quiet those who talk too much. If you know what I mean. *wink*
2001-12-12 04:50:56 PM  
Nice, Beezulbob
2001-12-12 04:51:27 PM  
and thought it was from the deal he made with the Devil. He will have a best selling blues album comming out in a year or so.
2001-12-12 04:52:08 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Dear Farkers,

Correction from earlier, this is the worse article ever!
2001-12-12 04:52:14 PM  
For an even creepier picture of Pat, check out Pat's Age-Defying Antioxidants.

I pity da fool who chooses Pat Robertson for a spokesman!
2001-12-12 04:54:42 PM  
i dont want to register to find out. anybody else read it?
2001-12-12 04:55:18 PM  
he gets plenty o protein
2001-12-12 04:55:28 PM  
Disclaimer: No specific health benefit is implied or promised from this recipe. Ingestion of Pat Roberson's Super Shake™ does not insure immediate entrance through the gates of heaven, or remove the sins of homosexuality, or prevent eternal damnation.
2001-12-12 04:55:42 PM  
if he can only invent something that would pull his head out of his @ss i'd be impressed.
2001-12-12 04:56:21 PM  
I will insist on reposting this everytime someone insists on mentioning Falwell or Robertson:
[image from too old to be available]
2001-12-12 04:56:51 PM  
Anyone who registers:
Please give us either a username/password or the PDF file itself so that we can laugh even more.
2001-12-12 04:57:13 PM  
DZNUTS Register under someone else. I used Fb.
2001-12-12 04:57:59 PM  
img.fark.netView Full Size
Pat Robertson gains superhuman powers with protein shake
Farkers have clicked on the above link 666 times
2001-12-12 04:59:14 PM  
Damn, I thought Pat Roberton's shake was going to be Parkinson's.
2001-12-12 05:01:41 PM  
Pat can leg press 600lbs?! And I thought that bulge in his pants was.... well, let's just say I thought he was happy.
2001-12-12 05:02:34 PM  
If you download the pdf file for Pat Robertson's shake...then the terrorists like boobies
2001-12-12 05:04:52 PM  
Fbsimon - who's that sweet thing on the far right. mmmm mmmmm, that boy needs a tongue bath. that one in the middle is cute too, i'd call him Tiki and spank his sweet bottom.
2001-12-12 05:05:08 PM  
This man's obviously high on Jesus.

mmm... Jesus
2001-12-12 05:07:34 PM  
"Pat, how do you leg press 600lbs?"

P.R.- "Well, I just focus my energy on the sins of hot blooded youg gay men, with there sweaty abbs, and bulging sin poles. I focus all of my energy on the saving those taught bodied gay sex machines, and I just push press that weight on up."
2001-12-12 05:07:39 PM  
I'd like to see him in a new TROMA movie called......"SUPER JESUS FREAK"
2001-12-12 05:08:23 PM  
I understand that semen is high protein. Just thought I'd toss that comment out. Not that there's anything wrong with semen, per se.
2001-12-12 05:08:27 PM  
I love that post!
2001-12-12 05:08:40 PM  
The really nice thing about this magical brew is that you can put it in ice trays and presto! age-defying jello shots!
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