Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(St. Petersburg Times)   Inventor sees his bicycle mounted squirt gun system becoming "multibillion dollar industry" (with pics)   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

23105 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Feb 2004 at 4:30 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

97 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2004-02-15 10:08:46 AM  
How come I never see sand monsters? I would think that this guy, with his engineering background, would explain all of the potential pitfalls and perils of going to the beach. I feel sorry for that little girl. I say donate a water wheel to her.
2004-02-15 10:18:13 AM  
Unable to afford prototype quotes ranging as high as $75,000 in the United States, Englert arranged for a prototype to be built in China for $6,000.

This man is the biggest idiot I have ever heard of. That he worked as a structural engineer is scary, I hope that someone checked his work. That he was an engineer and yet he didn't know that when you are looking for someone to make you something, when they quote you an absurdly high price they are telling you that they aren't interested, that your idea is crap and it's a waste of their time. I could have made that POS prototype in a week for about 200 bucks tops.
2004-02-15 10:32:08 AM  
hehehe.. a Squirt Bike

/I can't believe farks didn't think of that
2004-02-15 10:45:14 AM  
This is so stupid that 10 minutes after reading the article I still think it might be a hoax.

How much water does it hold? Do you have to get of your bike every five minutes to refill it?
2004-02-15 10:46:30 AM  
2004-02-15 10:52:51 AM  
That'd be bloody perfect for riding bike trails to get those pesky two-across pedestrian roadblocks to CLEAR THE DAMN PATH!!! And a lot less recoil than a .20gauge.
2004-02-15 11:10:46 AM  
Somebody front me $500,000.

I have this rad idea for mounting paintball guns on tricycles.
2004-02-15 11:20:19 AM  

How do you plan on making molded plastic, with no molds? And no machine tools to machine the molds?

Sure, hire AMERICAN workers to scrape the plastic out of blocks into the correct shape. Workers who work in a factory that has to comply with OSHA regulations, whom you have to supply insurance for, and who require regular payoffs to the union folks to make sure there's no trouble.


They already have that, it's called a "bicycle bell". Works great.
2004-02-15 11:27:33 AM  
I think it's kinda cool...except he'd do better to sell it as a kit instead of a whole bike. Maybe he is selling it as a kit, but I don't have the energy to go through the site and find out.
2004-02-15 11:37:58 AM  
Too farking big. Make it smaller. Eliminate the water tank underneath the top tube and just use a normal water bottle. Sell it as an add on, not the whole bike. I like the independent aiming function. Fill it up with brake fluid for assholes in cars.
2004-02-15 12:08:16 PM  
Maybe if I fill it with bleach, then it would be fun.
2004-02-15 12:13:57 PM  
1. Invent totally useless contraption
2. Quit cushy, high paying job
3. waste $300,000
4. ??????
5. Profit????
2004-02-15 12:39:01 PM  
To quote the caption on one of th St. Pete's photos, re: aiming:

"The front guns on the Water Wheels squirt gun for bicycles can be aimed independently. The rider only needs to move a thumb lever to aim them."

Now that's a snazzy bit of design.

Personally, I think this is a cool idea, even without the aiming capabilities. Sounds like some of you cynical old farks have forgotten how to be a kid :) Though I'm thinking he went a bit overboard on setting up the clothing and other accessories before the toy's even officially on the market, you can't blame a fella for being confident that he's got the new hotness - err, cool wetness.
2004-02-15 12:55:06 PM  
Twelve years and roughly $300,000 later

I'm taking bets on how many hours it will take before someone gets killed with this thing. Heck, I'd buy it just to fill it with battery acid and go on a Hit'n'Run spree. Squirt Squirt!
2004-02-15 01:02:19 PM  
I would have wanted one of these- I wouldn't have gotten it, of course. It's an OK idea- but it is rather discouraging to think that it requires $300k and 12 years to develop something that is...OK. Sort of cool. (I wonder what this guy did to feed his kids in the meantime? Is that included in the 300K?)

I think he could make a little money on this. Maybe even quite a bit, if the right someone buys it from him. Theme parks? No.

I also think that there must be a better way of keeping the pressure from getting to high than bleeding off water. That means that you can't ride very far before all your water is gone. You should be able to disengage the system entirely to conserve. duh.

Of course, he will be ruined when my idea comes to market: twin soakers mounted at the temples of a BMX-style helmet. Now that's aim. Safety AND fun!

bwa ha ha ha ha hahahahahahaaaaaaa....
2004-02-15 01:16:11 PM  
I feel sorry for the guy. He did'nt have us here at Fark to dissuade him from his incredibly stupid idea. There are at least thirty things wrong about the whole concept.
2004-02-15 01:19:11 PM  
Wow, 12 years and $300,000?! God, and this guy claims to be an engineer! No automatic pressure release valve at the pump? What a tard.

I envision 10 year-old's loading them full of lighter fluid, possibly adding an ignitor of some sort, and having jousting duals where the one less bbq'd wins.
2004-02-15 01:19:17 PM  
Maybe this invention should be called the "portable juvenille hydroplaning device". Any money this guy makes might be taken by the parents of kids who find out the hard way bicycle tires slide on water too. Well, "if" we're dealing with large enough amounts of water anyway.

/hums theme to old snl commercial for Big Red.
2004-02-15 01:21:06 PM  
Like fishrocket said, they can aim at things other than what you drive towards. Some of you guys are farking idiots. RTFA.

Befuddled: The company making the prototype doesn't have a vested financial interest in the success of the product, because they most likely will not be producing the line if it's ever mass produced. Try again next time.

It's not that bad of an idea, you guys need to relax. Think about it. Squirting your friends on bicycles. Think how awesome that would have been.
2004-02-15 01:24:26 PM  
If he added some side-mounted guns (for drive-by squirtings, or classic "ship-of-the-line" broadsides) and a couple of water-balloon grenade launchers, that thing would kick ass.

And maybe some reactive armor made from sodium.

2004-02-15 01:27:11 PM  
1st place award and trophy out of 65,000 entries at the 1977 Industrial Arts Fair in Western PA for Original Home Design.

This might just be the largest number of entries EVER for a design competition.

most design competitions have between 200-800 entries.
WTC rebuilding - 300 entries
WTC memorial - approx 5,500 entries - noted by the organizers as the largest number design competition in the world...
2004-02-15 01:43:25 PM  
From the article
"Hadd compared himself to Wilson, the next door neighbor who doled out sage advice over the fence to Tim Allen's character on the TV show Home Improvement."

Righto. I would'nt show my face either if I'd screwed over my so-called friend with know nothing advice.
300+K! for something you could cobble together for a couple grand. Incredible.
2004-02-15 02:07:51 PM  
Oh yah. Only a few weeks until someone does the brake fluid or other caustic substance trick with this and ends up blind from the back spray.

The name should be "Your Last Bike Ride, EVER!"
-ha ha
2004-02-15 02:40:38 PM  
Is this a joke? WHat happens when the first kid riding down the street frantically trying to aim his squirt guns with his thumbs goes head over heels and splits his brain pan on the sidewalk? NO ONE will insure this. He has a better chance of selling real guns to kids than this. You have to put warning lables on Superman costumes warning children they cant fly because of lawsuits. He should of taken that 300K to vegas. The odds are better.
2004-02-15 02:44:20 PM  
Design Expertise:
AutoCAD version 12, Intergraph CADD (Interact and Interpro), DataCAD 8.0

if this guy had bothered to learn a 3D modeling program (SolidWorks, etc) then perhaps he could have cut down on his $300K investment.

as far as prototyping, the guy shoulda used parts from available Super-Soakers... then at least he could have pitched the idea at minimal cost to see if there was any interest, with the caveat that his final design would not infringe on the Super-Soaker patents.
2004-02-15 02:45:56 PM  
No one's even mentioned the "electronic Heads-Up-Display safety goggles." I'd like to see that prototype before handing over my investment capital, please.
2004-02-15 02:55:09 PM  
No one's even mentioned the "electronic Heads-Up-Display safety goggles." I'd like to see that prototype before handing over my investment capital, please.

and the laser sighting attachment ought to be a big hit in East L.A... that would be fun to watch as some kid accidently locks on to a gang member and the gang member, after seeing a red dot on his chest, opens fire on the kid.
[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-15 03:08:46 PM  
the laser sights get my noodle going.
2004-02-15 03:17:10 PM  
Hmmm. Bike and a squirt gun that only shoots what you're heading towards, or inline skates and a super soaker.

Not much of a decision if you ask me.

I do like how it starts draining the precious little liquid if you pedal too much. Great idea. Not.
2004-02-15 03:20:22 PM  
Aside from the watergun device itself. The bicycle he has it mounted all on is an utter pile of crap. Yeesh.
2004-02-15 03:28:05 PM  
I came up with a better name for that stupid thing in about 10 seconds flat.

2004-02-15 03:58:54 PM  
The Ultimate Water Gun: I mounted this one on a motorcycle helmet, for gold metal-flake-y goodness and a "heads-up" aim. And it didn't cost no $300K to develop!

On the site, you can borrow it for two weeks, if you promise to take good pictures and send them back with the Gun.
2004-02-15 03:59:20 PM  
The guns can be aimed, not just shot forward - try reading the artical next time. And inline skate bearings aren't going to last too many water fights.
2004-02-15 04:18:53 PM  
Holy Fark! Look how far that thing can shoot!​0​9.jpg
(opens in a new window)
2004-02-15 04:25:37 PM  
It loooks like a viable idea to me.

I ride a motorcycle, and getting chased by dogs is a bad problem. I ran one over once--put the front wheel over him, dumped the bike, ripped open my elbow, skinned about a nickel's worth of hamburger off my knee---and didn't hurt the damned dog one bit.

Something which would allow you to blast them in the snoot with ammonia or pepper spray at the push of a button would definitely sell.

There are 6 million motorcycles and 50 million bicycles on the road in the USA; if you could sell to 1% of them at $100 a unit, that totals $56 million; not too shabby!
2004-02-15 04:36:10 PM  
For those of you totally knocking this idea, you have grown up, you are no longer a kid. Please give away your toys!
2004-02-15 04:37:42 PM  
Coming soon to RAGBRAI no doubt.
2004-02-15 05:40:31 PM  
How do you plan on making molded plastic, with no molds? And no machine tools to machine the molds

Gromky, a prototype is a proof of concept, something to show others as to the viability of the idea. You wouldn't go all out and make injection molds, you make something that was nearly the same, you'd wait and spend the startup costs for a production run after you find a buyer. And who says I don't have access to a machine shop?

Befuddled: The company making the prototype doesn't have a vested financial interest in the success of the product, because they most likely will not be producing the line if it's ever mass produced. Try again next time.

The Blue Raja, if someone comes to a manufacturer with a product that sounds promising, said manufacturer will try to entice product developer to go into business so manufacturer will make more money than can be made for a one-off. If manufacturer doesn't have the interest in doing business yet the idea is sound (and the developer isn't a fool, as dealing with a fool is a big pain in the ass) he'll do it at the normal rates. If the guy is a dope and you want him to go away without having to explain every reason under the sun why he is a fool, quote him an absurd price.
2004-02-15 05:55:42 PM  
This will create a multibillion dollar industry, just not for him. Personal injury lawyers will be raking it in.
2004-02-15 07:03:32 PM  
Geez, guess I gotta show my age. Doesn't anybody remember those little black & white ads in the backs of commic books, featuring all sorts of boy-type mischief? One such device was " the B.B. Machine Gun", with a small clamp designed to be mounted on your bike handlebars!

It was made of yellow plastic and had a small open hopper at the top where you poured the b.b.s(?) and then shot them by cranking a small handle on the side of the under-5" high affair.

I never did buy one, but just reading the ads were inspiring to all of us daredevils on two wheels, fancying ourselves as fighter aces and such.
2004-02-15 07:42:20 PM  
To all you farkers that are like "Who is going to buy this?!".... I think it's evident:

The Japanese.
2004-02-15 09:34:38 PM  
They should build these suckers into Segways.
2004-02-15 09:52:53 PM  
Back in the day, when cars were still made in AMERICA, you could turn the little windshield-washer jets on your hood in any direction. So of course we'd turn them sideways and squirt people at stoplights. Oh the hilarity.

Then there was the time Andy, in his '75 Nova, "jousted" with my brother Chris in his '72 Ford Bronco that he made out of two halves welded together. They turned the washers to the left, and sort of had a dogfight in the Immaculate Conception parking lot trying to squirt in each other's open windows.

More about Andy: His Nova was a silver four-door piece of shiat his grandmother gave to him. Spent half my teenage years sitting in it. One time the aerial busted off, and he stole a big plastic owl decoy from the supermarket he worked at, and stuck it in the hole on the side of his hood. He drove around like this for a while, until a cop stopped him and asked him what the f*ck was wrong with him.

He was a big punk rock fan, but he also for some goddamn reason enjoyed listening the Sousa marches on the 8-track. He'd drive by, staring straight ahead, with "Stars and Stripes Forever" blasting out the windows. Now a telecommunications exec in Jersey, wife, two kids.

Then there was Billy's '67 Mustang, a rusted-out piece of crap. He had a "Don't Drink and Drive" bumper sticker on the back UPSIDE DOWN. One time his psycho girlfriend left the bar mad at him, and wrote terrible things all over the car in red lipstick. Things like, "Billy R___ has a small dick" and "F*ck you asshole", etc. We tried to wipe it off with napkins, but that didn't work, so we drove around the rest of the night with that shiat written all over it. He didn't care.

/bored on a Sunday night, couldn't stop typing, sorry.
2004-02-16 08:33:18 AM is farked.

we cant even see how much it blows!
2004-02-16 12:14:26 PM  
mmmm Squirters... I want one of those mounted on MY handlebar.
2004-02-16 02:26:12 PM  
So, you aim where the bike is going.

great. "Hey Timmy!" spritzspritzCRUNCH
2004-02-16 05:26:07 PM  
This is a very good example of what happens to nerds who don't get enough swirlies in high school.
Displayed 47 of 97 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.