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(NPR)   Has the end come for the conference call?   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
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12067 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jun 2014 at 1:52 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-06-03 11:49:27 PM  
10 votes:
Every day, at 6:30 a.m., I join a conference call with colleagues on the East Coast. I call an 800 number, then enter a six-digit conference room number, then a PIN. And despite the group remaining largely unchanged, once a week, something goes wrong. When I conference with outsiders, there's a problem every other call. There's the "oops I got the wrong dial-in" problem. There's the "PIN is too long to remember" problem. There's the "is so-and-so on the line?" problem. And the "someone hasn't muted the line and is a mouth breather" problem.

It's possible that you and the people you work with are halfwits.
2014-06-04 03:22:30 AM  
6 votes:
The biggest problem with conference calls?

media-cache-ec0.pinimg.comView Full Size
2014-06-04 01:57:13 AM  
5 votes:
I used to work for a Japanese company. Conference calls with headquarters often consisted of 6 Americans sitting around answering emails while the speakerphone spewed out thousands of words per minute of Japanese.

It always felt like I had tuned in the wrong channel on cable TV.
2014-06-04 06:02:03 AM  
3 votes:
In the future, the telescreens will be smaller.
ditl.orgView Full Size
2014-06-04 02:14:08 AM  
3 votes:
dilbert.comView Full Size
2014-06-04 01:56:01 AM  
3 votes:
Gawd, I hope so.  Every week, I have a "team meeting" confrence call with everybody who works for the same boss - in over half a dozen states.  And most of the participants are old men in their 60s and 70s.  With all the rambling that implies.  We're all computer field engineers, and I'm surprised that some of these guys can even correctly identify their car keys, much less understand how to use them ;)
2014-06-04 12:26:16 AM  
3 votes:
*checks Outlook calendar*

Nope.  It's not the end of the conference call anytime soon.
2014-06-04 11:08:57 AM  
2 votes:
Another vote for Lync. Works flawlessly for conf calls, audio, video, screen sharing you name it.
However I was in a call last week and this one guy's dog was in heat. That one was fun.
2014-06-04 09:10:01 AM  
2 votes:
The mouth breatehr....good lord. It's like haveing a perverted Darth Vadar on the line. the only good thing about a conference call is you can mute and ask your co worker "What the fark is Barry going on about now? Lord this man is an idoit".

Of course there's been time were  we didn't have the mute button on and well sometimes things get said out loud that shouldn't have been said. "Did you ever see the tit's on barry' admin?....oh yea at " all the while wondering why my collegues across the table are waving thier arms wildly while the admin dives for the mute button and the intern laughs hystericly.

I miss that job.
2014-06-04 07:52:09 AM  
2 votes:
"Who just joined?"
"Who just joined?"
"I thought I heard a beep, did someone just join"
"Who was the last join please"
-"durr sorry my mute was on"

Both of these people kill me, every week...
2014-06-04 02:45:57 AM  
2 votes:
static.parade.condenast.comView Full Size

"That's you isn't it, Miriam..."
2014-06-04 02:25:29 AM  
2 votes:
My company is considering using Google hangouts for our conference call needs.

But the bosses are against it.

They've seen the TV commercials and they think having to invite the Muppets will reduce productivity.
2014-06-04 04:16:54 PM  
1 vote:

xkillyourfacex: mike_d85: The author is right. Every time you get into a conference call you miss out on quality FACETIME. It's like a horrible trap you can't eSKYPE from. Each time I get told to GOTOaMEETING I think "man, someone should invent some kind of conference system using video!"

My boss tried iGoFaceSkyping and it was a disaster.

One of the people here tried a video conference and it wouldnt work, later they found out it was because he didnt have a web cam. He thought it would just work through the monitor.
2014-06-04 02:34:43 PM  
1 vote:
Can whoever is typing in this thread mute your line please!
2014-06-04 02:01:57 PM  
1 vote:

\We should post the numbers and times for our calls and just crash them all for each other...

If this ever happened, I'd like thinking it would go down in internet history as one of the best group pranks ever orchestrated.
2014-06-04 12:39:16 PM  
1 vote:

pjkraatz: mikefinch: Nope -- once a month I sit there on the phone marvelling at how more than half of my co-workers managed to dress and feed themselves up to this point.

\We should post the numbers and times for our calls and just crash them all for each other...

I have to do roughly 5 calls a DAY like this (minimum). I was hoping TFA would give me a sign that the end is nigh but no, only the sweet release of death will free me from this hell. The stories, though...oh man, I've heard it all.

I may steal that idea for a call or two on 4/1/15. Could I press on a few dozen Farkers to perhaps bomb a call? Might be worth a beer at a San Diego County Fark party. And a recording. Gotta have the recording.

The lulz. Do it for them.

/PM me if interested

I half wrote a bit about doing this, starting my own website   and just try to annoy everyone at the meeting..."can you repeat that"  - drawing a penis on the graph being displayed, or being that person who keeps asking inane questions at the end of the meeting when everyone is trying to leave, or just long phrases of business jargon "can this be vertically integrated with our product line to have a organic infrastructure to connect to the cloud for more synergism and green energy consumption, or will this require a restructuring of our platform to a new paradigm while maintaining customer stability in the online market, without having to overhaul our competitive space with inter connectivity and raise our Weinburg score?"
2014-06-04 12:36:13 PM  
1 vote:
I used to have a monthly conference call. The service was awful. The first 10 minutes of every call was:

"Ok, we're going to get.."

"John.....has just joined the call"

"Ok, let's get..."

"Bob......has just joined the call"

"Alright everyone..."

"Jenny.....has just joined the call"

This continues for a few minutes.

Then: "Ok, can we take roll call?"

Me: Faceplam
2014-06-04 10:41:23 AM  
1 vote:
Ever have someone put you on hold, instead of mute? Everyone gets to listen to elevator music while you desperately try to figure out who it is and contact them.
2014-06-04 10:29:00 AM  
1 vote:
The NSA would like to remind you that every call is a conference call.
2014-06-04 10:11:15 AM  
1 vote:

eeyore102: I work with some incredibly smart people, but it's amazing how the first 15-20 minutes of every Google Hangout are spent on teaching the participants how to Internet.

(CW IMs me) "Where is the hangout, can you invite me?"
(I IM back) "Look in your calendar, there's a link there."
(CW) "I can't find it, can you invite me?"
(I invite him)
(CW connects, then drops)
(CW IMs me) "It didn't work, can you invite me again?"
(other CW, in Hangout) "Check it out, I can make it give me a funny hat!"

What kind of hat?  Can a monocle be inserted?  Possibly a mustache?
2014-06-04 08:53:49 AM  
1 vote:
On the Internet, we are used to our communications being clearly heralded.

Leethax69 has joined the conference
2014-06-04 07:22:39 AM  
1 vote:

Harry_Seldon: We use Microsoft Lync. Works great. I talk to people all over the world with clarity of talking to someone next door. Everyone has a USB headset. We can talk 1:1 or conference calls, share chat session, screens, and documents. It works nearly flawless.

I'm not the biggest Microsoft fan but Lync does work really well even without a headset.

Tho on one call my dog decided to wake up and start woofing at some invisible critter outside.
2014-06-04 07:01:55 AM  
1 vote:
Has the end come for the conference call?

Is it over? Do we hang up now? Anybody there? Am I the last one on the line? Hellooooooooo?
2014-06-04 06:22:31 AM  
1 vote:
We do a fair number of conference calls here.  The reason people do them at their desk is to that they can "multitask" which means being non-productive at more than one thing at a time.

Favorite conference call moment from a female colleague in the advertising industry...

During the idle chit chat while you are waiting for everyone in three offices to get on the line, a guy starts talking about his recent vacation to the Grand Canyon and how much fun he had.  My friend says:

"One time I went down on a donkey."

Everyone in all three offices erupted in laughter. Took her quite a while to live that one down.
2014-06-04 05:53:32 AM  
1 vote:

AngryDragon: I see NPR is approaching CNN levels of "journalism"

NPR only mentions tweets. CNN would have based their whole story on tweets. They would have set up a conference tweet with a bevy of celebritards all twittering and tweeting away in the twitterverse while the CNN "news" staff all circle-jerked their way to a tweeterful twittergasm.
2014-06-04 03:16:05 AM  
1 vote:
And the "someone hasn't muted the line and is a mouth breather" problem.

I'm this guy... on purpose. It's hilarious!
2014-06-04 02:22:48 AM  
1 vote:
I hope not.  I've tried tons of alternatives.  Butcher, Orphan Maker, Flakker.  None of them come close to Conference Call's performance.  The Swordsplosion's nice, but for direct, rapid fire?  CC all the way.
2014-06-04 02:06:57 AM  
1 vote:
This article was written by the pointy-haired boss in Dilbert.

/can't figure out Skype either
2014-06-04 02:00:44 AM  
1 vote:
Oh for crissakes. I have recently submitted a cornucopia of brilliance and this is the drivel that gets greenlit?
What gives mods?
Did I sit on your stool at Happy Hour?
2014-06-04 12:04:57 AM  
1 vote:
I learned just today that a conference call between two techs and a customer who doesn't speak English results in two techs repeating "Could you please repeat that?" over and over again

/I was following orders
//I hate my job
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