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170 injured on SEOUL TRAIN, a macaroni and cheese tactical drone strike, and one nine-iron shot by Elin Nordegren: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 4/27 - 5/3
Posted by Unfreakable at 2014-05-05 2:41:57 PM (5 comments) | Permalink

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1850 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 May 2014 at 2:53 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Last week's headline about Donald Sterling being booted out of the NBA was the runaway votes winner last week, but there were a few more here that I personally thought were great.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2014-04-27 to Sat 2014-05-03:

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  Camels are now confirmed as the source of the MERS virus, emphysema, lung cancer  

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  Donald Sterling is quickly running out of people he can screw  

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  San Jose to offer 'pods' to homeless people. Don't trust them, I've seen this movie before  

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  £1.3m home for sale claims to have the remains of Robin Hood buried in the back garden. Bonus: There's also a little john out back  

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  Congress wants more control of Special Ops Iron Man suit. Don't they know this is exactly the sort of thing that caused the Armor Wars in issues 225 through 232?  

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  You will suffer great misfortune at work today  

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  Apparently, Paying $13,000 for a kitchen appliance is some people's cup of tea. Subby always thought economics abhors a vacuum  

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  170 injured on SEOUL TRAIN  

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  Journalists from CBS and Sky News detained in Ukraine. Someone from Buzzfeed was also held, but even Ukrainians won't go as far as to call anyone working there a "journalist"  

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  Four people were unable to figure out how lightning works when it finally struck them  

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  Miami teen arrested for hacking into his school's computer system to change grades. It's a WOPR of a story  


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  Bad news, Bears  

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  NBA agrees with Donald Sterling that certain types of people shouldn't attend Clippers games  

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  Even Donald Sterling's prostate wants nothing to do with Donald Sterling  


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  "All these worlds are yours except Europa. Attempt no landing there." Haha, you didn't say anything about Ganymede, suckers  

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  Here's a handy dragon comparison chart you can show your mother when she brings your dinner down to the basement  

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  Australians discover a way to deliver grilled cheese sandwiches by parachute. Not to be outdone, Americans are now working on a Macaroni and Cheese tactical strike drone  


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  That should be high on the Liszt  

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  Rage Against the Machine has decided the Machine has learned its lesson  

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  Jeremy Clarkson told he will be fired if he makes "one more offensive remark, anywhere, at any time". In other news, Top Gear will soon be looking for a new co-host  


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  Peace sells, flees shells by the sea shore  

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  Turns out the blunder made by Scalia is unprecedented. Pfft, like Scalia needs precedent to f*ck up  

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  Obama's two recent golf outings cost $2.9 million. Which still doesn't come close to costing as much as one nine iron shot by Elin Nordegren  


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  Coffee has gotten too expensive for Starbucks. That's the joke  

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  NYSE computer error cancels 20,000 trades. Malfunction triggered when someone placed a buy order for  

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  When you're a major wireless company, you buy a television provider. When you buy a television provider, people look at you funny. When people look at you funny, you'll get your ass kicked. Don't become a wireless company. Buy DirectTV
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5 Comments     (+0 »)
2014-05-05 03:01:44 PM  
If "SEOUL TRAIN" isn't nominated for HOTY, I'm going to be pissed.
2014-05-05 03:02:23 PM  

Bith Set Me Up: If "SEOUL TRAIN" isn't nominated for HOTY, I'm going to be pissed.

In the most literal sense, appearing on this list makes it a candidate.
2014-05-05 04:28:55 PM  
I'm inordinately proud of the mac and cheese cannon thread, and I wasn't even the submitter.
2014-05-05 05:40:16 PM  
I would like to take the time to thank Donald Sterling, his racism, and his growing prostate for giving me a HOTW.
2014-05-05 06:04:01 PM  
I would like to thank 140 Koreans for possibly giving me my first HOTY, also DirectTV for your ads. I love that shiat. ^_^
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