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(Slightly Warped)   A whole bunch of reasons not to move to Australia. #25 is actually a jellyfish   ( slightlywarped.com) divider line
    More: Scary, Australia  
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9297 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 May 2014 at 7:35 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-04 12:05:08 AM  
AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH


img.fark.netView Full Size

 
2014-05-04 01:23:22 AM  
 
2014-05-04 07:41:55 AM  
Stop being afraid of life.
 
2014-05-04 07:43:00 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2014-05-04 07:44:54 AM  
No wonder Hitler grew up to be such a bastard.
 
2014-05-04 07:45:10 AM  

Badgers: [i.imgur.com image 500x600]


Back away slowly :)
 
2014-05-04 07:45:55 AM  
Massive prawns though
 
2014-05-04 07:49:41 AM  

JasonOfOrillia: AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH

[img.fark.net image 700x525]


I'm pretty sure that's a King Brown Snake.  I place them very low on the list of things I want biting my sack.
 
2014-05-04 07:50:18 AM  
...we can always give you plenty more...
 
2014-05-04 07:51:04 AM  

LewDux: Massive prawns though


And they'delicious. At least when you eat them and not the other way around
 
2014-05-04 07:51:52 AM  

PopularFront: JasonOfOrillia: AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH

[img.fark.net image 700x525]

I'm pretty sure that's a King Brown Snake.  I place them very low on the list of things I want biting my sack.


really? What happens to be on the other end of that list?
 
2014-05-04 07:53:07 AM  

MassAsster: PopularFront: JasonOfOrillia: AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH

[img.fark.net image 700x525]

I'm pretty sure that's a King Brown Snake.  I place them very low on the list of things I want biting my sack.

really? What happens to be on the other end of that list?


Kate Upton!
 
2014-05-04 07:57:09 AM  
American living in Sydney to work on some of those dangerous animals, so I'm getting a kick.....


Here are some of my recent encounters:

img.fark.netView Full Size

A 16 foot-plus great white shark

img.fark.netView Full Size

Stephen's banded snake- yep, they can kill you


img.fark.netView Full Size
some sort of orb weaver
 
2014-05-04 08:01:43 AM  

juvandy: American living in Sydney to work on some of those dangerous animals, so I'm getting a kick.....


Here are some of my recent encounters:

[img.fark.net image 850x566]
A 16 foot-plus great white shark

[img.fark.net image 850x568]
Stephen's banded snake- yep, they can kill you


[img.fark.net image 850x568]some sort of orb weaver


img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2014-05-04 08:04:57 AM  
Why did TFA have the flying fox bat? They're harmless fruit eaters.
 
2014-05-04 08:15:57 AM  

PopularFront: Kate Upton


your clear she still has her teeth,  right?
 
2014-05-04 08:44:34 AM  

juvandy: American living in Sydney to work on some of those dangerous animals, so I'm getting a kick.....



Florida has a lot of dangerous animals including a lot of non-native species.  The Northern Snowbird is one of the most deadliest, especially when in pursuit of an Early Bird
 
2014-05-04 08:49:58 AM  

StrikitRich: juvandy: American living in Sydney to work on some of those dangerous animals, so I'm getting a kick.....


Florida has a lot of dangerous animals including a lot of non-native species.  The Northern Snowbird is one of the most deadliest, especially when in pursuit of an Early Bird


I once saw a male snowbird drive run a red in front of an ambulance with its lights going down there...

For Florida dangerous animals I prefer these:


pbase.comView Full Size


and these:
pbase.comView Full Size
 
2014-05-04 09:02:35 AM  

exatron: Why did TFA have the flying fox bat? They're harmless fruit eaters.


Yeah but they're scary as fark. I live in Brisbane. There's a mango tree outside my apartment that they swarm when the fruit is ripe. I'm afraid to walk out the door at night.
 
2014-05-04 09:09:14 AM  

juvandy: StrikitRich: juvandy: American living in Sydney to work on some of those dangerous animals, so I'm getting a kick.....


Florida has a lot of dangerous animals including a lot of non-native species.  The Northern Snowbird is one of the most deadliest, especially when in pursuit of an Early Bird

I once saw a male snowbird drive run a red in front of an ambulance with its lights going down there...

For Florida dangerous animals I prefer these:


You're going to give Water Moccasins, Coral Snakes and Copperheads and inferiority complex
 
2014-05-04 09:15:40 AM  
Or was that first pic a Cottonmouth.....
 
2014-05-04 09:24:41 AM  
Map of Australia:

img.fark.netView Full Size
 
2014-05-04 09:28:46 AM  

StrikitRich: Or was that first pic a Cottonmouth.....


yep, it was
 
2014-05-04 09:32:53 AM  
This article brought to you by the populous of Australia.
 
2014-05-04 09:35:42 AM  
HMM... Death picked up a book at random and read the cover. "DANGEROUS MAMMALS, REPTILES, AMPHIBIANS, BIRDS, FISH, JELLYFISH, INSECTS, SPIDERS, CRUSTACEANS, GRASSES, TREES, MOSSES, AND LICHENS OF TERROR INCOGNITA, " he read. His gaze moved down the spine. VOLUME 29C, he added. OH. PART THREE, I SEE.
 
2014-05-04 09:37:30 AM  

GarColga: Map of Australia:

[img.fark.net image 533x463]


That map can't be right. The area labeled 'Deranged Gunmen' doesn't look anything like Idaho.
 
2014-05-04 09:43:17 AM  
That's where Hitler was from, enough reason for me not to go there.
 
2014-05-04 09:51:49 AM  
slightlywarped.comView Full Size


ticks - not really that uncommon anywhere, really crappy example of dangerous 'Aussie' wildlife

slightlywarped.comView Full Size


A swarm of bugs. Again, these don't look that Australian, nor dangerous.

slightlywarped.comView Full Size


Flies. Are you effing kidding me?!?

slightlywarped.comView Full Size


Regular millipedes. You probably have at least 10x what's pictured there, living right under your house. They're tiny, and harmless.

slightlywarped.comView Full Size


These guys are not even vegan, they're fruitarians, FFS - and they're super-cute!


/your unannotated pictures suck.
 
2014-05-04 09:58:19 AM  
slightlywarped.comView Full Size
Thumbs up

s1.postimg.orgView Full Size

Two BIG thumbs up!

(RIP Steve Irwin)
 
2014-05-04 10:00:31 AM  
True Fact: every animal in Australia evolved from a single species of venom sac.
 
2014-05-04 10:10:38 AM  
Crown Lager
Mmmmm...
 
2014-05-04 10:20:26 AM  
Imagine if aliens tried to contact us by sending an emissary to Australia.

/Or Africa
 
2014-05-04 10:20:42 AM  

uttertosh: Regular millipedes. You probably have at least 10x what's pictured there, living right under your house. They're tiny, and harmless.


Got the big ones running through the yard. Only problem I have is one of my dogs likes to eat them.
 
2014-05-04 10:26:48 AM  
A mole cricket? not dangerous except to your lawn.
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2014-05-04 10:27:00 AM  
Australia is a lush green land with no dangerous flora and fauna. Most of their 'wildlife' was invented to discourage tourists.
 
2014-05-04 10:30:58 AM  

juvandy: StrikitRich: juvandy: American living in Sydney to work on some of those dangerous animals, so I'm getting a kick.....

For Florida dangerous animals I prefer these:


raise the bar son.....
i1280.photobucket.comView Full Size

Deadliest creature you can ever hope to come across.
 
2014-05-04 10:41:45 AM  
A jellyfish that's not Chironex fleckeri? Ok,so it's big, but I doubt getting stung by it hurts so much that you stop breathing.
 
2014-05-04 10:48:18 AM  

Glockenspiel Hero: A jellyfish that's not Chironex fleckeri? Ok,so it's big, but I doubt getting stung by it hurts so much that you stop breathing.


Came here for this.  Tiny little jelly gobs of DEATH!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Box_jellyfish
 
2014-05-04 11:57:21 AM  
Constrictors won't hurt you unless there is nothing else to eat. Flying foxes are fruit eating pollinators. Crocs get displaced by floods and travel for mating just like gators, so just mind your business. The giant earthworm is harmless. The millipedes stink but won't hurt you, though the flies and the giant centipede probably would. Even the swarming spiders aren't a dangerous kind. And most jellyfish are more of an inconvenience than a real danger. I would be more worried about that damn koala. Those are smelly mean little bastards. With unbelievable claws, rip ya right open.
 
2014-05-04 11:59:51 AM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: Thumbs up


Two BIG thumbs up!

(RIP Steve Irwin)


I bet Australia hates that he represented their country to the world. What a moron.
// I had death pool for him as sea snake. Missed out on a big payoff....
 
2014-05-04 12:01:21 PM  

juvandy: American living in Sydney to work on some of those dangerous animals, so I'm getting a kick.....


Here are some of my recent encounters:


A 16 foot-plus great white shark


Stephen's banded snake- yep, they can kill you


some sort of orb weaver


Beautiful!
 
2014-05-04 12:01:49 PM  

JasonOfOrillia: AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH AAAAAHHHHH

[img.fark.net image 700x525]


Not to worry, the writer even has the wrong continent here as that was an Indian cobra:

http://www.damncoolpictures.com/2009/02/snake-in-toilet-in-india.htm l

Goddam poor article, flipping author can't even make a proper gallery of things that can kill you

FROM AUSTRALIA!

sundaydumbday.comView Full Size

HAHAHAHA..
 
2014-05-04 12:58:26 PM  
I think the plane ride would be what would kill me
 
2014-05-04 01:21:53 PM  
Why wouldn't any guy want to move someplace where the airlines automatically treat everyone with a Y chromosome as a convicted pedophile?
 
2014-05-04 05:13:48 PM  

Deedeemarz: Day_Old_Dutchie: Thumbs up


Two BIG thumbs up!

(RIP Steve Irwin)

I bet Australia hates that he represented their country to the world. What a moron.
// I had death pool for him as sea snake. Missed out on a big payoff....


Actually no.  Most people that I know there (friends, family, etc.) considered him to be a pretty good guy.  He was a conservationist, entertainer and got lots of people to actually care about wildlife.  Yes, he was a character, but Australians don't take themselves that seriously.  My grandmother thought he was hilarious.

CSB:

When visiting the Australia Zoo, where he worked and did shows, my dad and I actually saw him.  This was about a year or so before he died and I was out there catching up with family.  We were heading back to our car to get some lunch when he puttered by on a little red motorcycle right in front of us.  My dad yelled "Hey, Steve!" and he turned around, flashed us a peace sign, and zoomed off.  He struck us a pretty chill dude.

/RIP Steve
 
2014-05-04 05:24:23 PM  

lightgreyaussie: Deedeemarz: Day_Old_Dutchie: Thumbs up


Two BIG thumbs up!

(RIP Steve Irwin)

I bet Australia hates that he represented their country to the world. What a moron.
// I had death pool for him as sea snake. Missed out on a big payoff....

Actually no.  Most people that I know there (friends, family, etc.) considered him to be a pretty good guy.  He was a conservationist, entertainer and got lots of people to actually care about wildlife.  Yes, he was a character, but Australians don't take themselves that seriously.  My grandmother thought he was hilarious.

CSB:

When visiting the Australia Zoo, where he worked and did shows, my dad and I actually saw him.  This was about a year or so before he died and I was out there catching up with family.  We were heading back to our car to get some lunch when he puttered by on a little red motorcycle right in front of us.  My dad yelled "Hey, Steve!" and he turned around, flashed us a peace sign, and zoomed off.  He struck us a pretty chill dude.

/RIP Steve


Chill maybe. Idiot definitely. Glad the Aussies have a sense of humor.
 
2014-05-04 07:15:59 PM  

exatron: Why did TFA have the flying fox bat? They're harmless fruit eaters.


It's thought they might be vectors for some nasty viruses - lyssa and hendra.
 
2014-05-04 07:47:48 PM  
What is "a list of things that will kill me horribly"?
 
2014-05-04 08:48:00 PM  
I'm a little late, but my contribution to this thread is the knowledge that the collective noun for jellyfish is "a smack".  As in, "I was stung thirty times when I accidentally swam into a smack of jellyfish."
 
2014-05-04 08:50:35 PM  
Unregulated guns in the hands of idiots, scare me a shiat load more then any of those animals...
 
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