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(USA Today)   Study finds that, during sex, 43% of all men have an orgasm within two minutes. Chin up, dear Farker, I know that seems like an eternity, but there are exercises you can do   ( usatoday.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, New Republic, Alfred Kinsey, exercises, Dr Harry  
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7463 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Apr 2014 at 6:36 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-04-27 08:04:39 PM  
9 votes:

tarheel07: Practice pinching off when you pee to strengthen your PC muscle and last longer in bed.

I've done this for years, and I've finally gotten to the point that I can go for an extra 15 minutes before urinating on my partner.
2014-04-27 06:43:36 PM  
9 votes:
Fishing with grandpa. Fishing with grandpa. Fi...shing...wi...wi...gr...oh...


(rolls over)

2014-04-27 06:53:10 PM  
7 votes:
Women take 2 hours in the bathroom, 3 hours to change.

Men, we don't care. Piss on the seat, dirty t-shirt. Just get the job done. We are about efficiency. 

If orgasms were publicly traded companies, women would be Neiman Marcus and Prada. Men are Walmart and Big Lots. The product may be crappy, but we sure meet our sales figures
2014-04-27 07:04:38 PM  
6 votes:

ecmoRandomNumbers: Sex is a destination, not a journey.

If you're married long enough, sex is Mission Impossible.
2014-04-27 07:02:47 PM  
6 votes:
i-mockery.comView Full Size

I'm getting better.
2014-04-27 06:46:20 PM  
6 votes:
Listening to music can double your time, apparently.

everythingfunny.orgView Full Size
2014-04-27 06:41:02 PM  
6 votes:
or keep this mental image handy when you feel an orgasm coming on

fc06.deviantart.netView Full Size
2014-04-27 10:24:27 PM  
4 votes:

Frederick: FizixJunkee: I orgasm at the 13 minute mark.

Prime numbers set me off too.

In other words, done in one.
2014-04-27 09:08:55 PM  
4 votes:
I tend to orgasm shortly after the Chinese lady tells me to roll over.
2014-04-27 08:24:48 PM  
3 votes:
The two of us are making love violently, she's digging it, I figure I better start thinking of ballplayers quickly. So I figure it's one out, the ninth, the Giants are up. Mays lines a single to right, he takes second on a wild pitch. Now she is digging her nails into my neck. I decided to pinch-hit for McCovey. Alou pops out. Haller singles, Mays holds third. Now I got a first-and-third situation. Two out, the Giants are behind one run. I don't know whether to squeeze or steal. She's been in the shower for ten minutes, already. This is too...I can't tell you anymore, this is too personal. The Giants won.
2014-04-27 07:54:53 PM  
3 votes:
I just skip all of that work and go directly to sleep.
2014-04-27 07:50:59 PM  
3 votes:

whither_apophis: So if 43% of sex is under two minutes, but the average is 7 minutes, that means there's like one guy who lasts a couple hours.

i1126.photobucket.comView Full Size
2014-04-27 07:02:50 PM  
3 votes:

Mad_Radhu: Yeah, but by the time I finally dip my wick I've made her cum several times already in various out her ways.

She's supposed to come?
2014-04-27 06:44:13 PM  
3 votes:

Mad_Radhu: Yeah, but by the time I finally dip my wick I've made her cum several times already in various out her ways.

img.fark.netView Full Size
2014-04-27 05:36:13 PM  
3 votes:
theinfosphere.orgView Full Size
2014-04-27 04:56:02 PM  
3 votes:
In before every Farker alive claims they're long lasting marathon men in their hand, whoops, I mean in the sack.
2014-04-27 09:57:41 PM  
2 votes:

harlock: Every man is different, but I'll let you in on a little secret.   If you polish the bishop at just the right interval beforehand, you'll be able to perform but you'll last a long time.

Ok, but what if you're not Catholic?
2014-04-27 06:50:17 PM  
2 votes:
I knew I was good at sex from the start. First time, I came.
2014-04-28 10:02:00 AM  
1 vote:
2 minutes? I hate those difficult Steam Achievements.
2014-04-28 04:05:58 AM  
1 vote:
So what about guys who last too long? It takes me forever to finish, always has. Like 20 minutes or more, even when masturbating. I'd give my left nut to be able to come in 2 min. lolz
2014-04-27 10:50:16 PM  
1 vote:
The advantage of being gay.  Just climax - play video games for a half hour - and do it again.  Repeat.
2014-04-27 09:19:20 PM  
1 vote:
I don't get sleepy afterwards. I get hungry and more awake. So I read/massage her to sleep and go make an enormous sandwich and play old Blizzard games.

My sexual habits: only Fark knows them.
2014-04-27 08:21:27 PM  
1 vote:
When I was in my 20's yes admit it. But I was able to 5 times in a row. Nowadays ....20/30 mins follwed by huffing and puffing and clutching my heart.
2014-04-27 08:04:02 PM  
1 vote:
The more sex you have, the longer you can go. In my case.
Also, as I get older, I can go longer. It's no longer about quantity or conquest, it's about pleasure.
Well, that's what my left hand says. Righty is a frigid biatch but I hate warm beer.
2014-04-27 07:56:09 PM  
1 vote:
This thread is really gross.
2014-04-27 07:33:19 PM  
1 vote:
So if 43% of sex is under two minutes, but the average is 7 minutes, that means there's like one guy who lasts a couple hours.
2014-04-27 07:18:11 PM  
1 vote:
Two mins is a long time to hold your breath so compared to some things my body can do, that's an eternity.
2014-04-27 07:14:54 PM  
1 vote:
Apparently some of you farkers are pretty lame.
Go and buy a lobster. Save the bands.
Serve lobster to wench. Reuse bands.

'cause I know you're cheap, just serve broccoli as the vegi of choice.  Reuse bands.

You want to fark like a porn star?  Lidocaine  jelly. Topical  anesthetic + nerve blocker.

Some sorry ass motherfarkers.
2014-04-27 07:10:44 PM  
1 vote:
but there are exercises you can do

Learn how to eat pussy?
2014-04-27 06:55:48 PM  
1 vote:

unyon: You mean I'm not supposed to be trying to get a personal best time??

Now that's what I call a tool assisted speedrun.
2014-04-27 06:54:15 PM  
1 vote:
Also, DNRTFA. I saw the word "orgasm" and had to go make one of my own. See, even my post was made poorly to meet sales expectations.
2014-04-27 06:41:36 PM  
1 vote:

Hobodeluxe: just rub one out about 3 hours before going out :)

Which, we all know, could lead to this:

3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2014-04-27 06:41:03 PM  
1 vote:
Nurse: So, what's your sperm count again?
Me: About two minutes, max.
2014-04-27 05:33:37 PM  
1 vote:
Two minutes? I wish I could last that long.
2014-04-27 05:17:04 PM  
1 vote:
Sex is a destination, not a journey.
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