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(The Atlantic)   How buzzwords are affecting our brains, synergizing our neural resources and ensuring we work smarter, not harder   ( divider line
    More: PSA, Harvard College, industrial revolution, trucking companies, physical environment, scientific revolution, Pepsico, Andrew Carnegie, hierarchy of needs  
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2503 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Apr 2014 at 6:26 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-04-25 08:00:13 AM  
3 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size

i.imgur.comView Full Size

/Babies born after the Simpsons stopped being good can legally drive
2014-04-25 10:05:47 AM  
2 votes:
Special High Intensity Training
Referred by: Comprehensive Remedial Advisory Panel
2014-04-25 07:16:17 AM  
2 votes:

Skr: "Be excellent to each other" is my favorite motto to live by.

Makes sense.
i1.ytimg.comView Full Size
2014-04-25 06:54:57 AM  
2 votes:

King Something: Penis.

Please work with that off line.
2014-04-25 11:13:58 PM  
1 vote:

leonel: gerbilpox: By making us think outside the box, that's how. Duh.

Outside the box? My synergistic enterprises are so ahead of the paradigm curve, I'm thinking INSIDE the box.

I'm a pervert so I'm thinking about the box
2014-04-25 10:28:33 PM  
1 vote:
Too lazy to Google, but there was a Baby Blues comic strip a couple of months ago:

Wife: So did you have a productive day?
Husband: I synergised with my empowerment team to find best practices to leverage our core competencies going forward. And you?
Wife: I made two trays of ice cubes.
Husband: You win.
2014-04-25 09:16:40 AM  
1 vote:

Danger Mouse: I was just litteraly asked

"Hey! when we socialized our proposal to the stakeholders did we have any evaluation critera that we could assess them by, you know,  in parrarel. I want to ensure we scratched everyone's itch."

I have no farking clue what he is talking about.  I told him I'd circle back later.

Tell him you have a concern that the deliverables may not have been synergized with the envisioned endpoint state and that you may have to re-visit the overall tasking.  Then ask how long the runway is on this.

If that doesn't shut him up, shoot him.
2014-04-25 09:00:18 AM  
1 vote:

Cold_Sassy: I got your joke, and know you hate buzzword/corporate-speak as much as I always have.

I think you and I have achieved

*takes glasses off*

2014-04-25 08:51:41 AM  
1 vote:

TheGogmagog: Our H.R. is full of SME's who want our S.M.A.R.T. goals submitted for our A.P.R. process.  No time for full words, let alone buzzwords.

/I need a list of smart goals that sound good yet I can achieve without doing anything.

somehow I read that as "smart goats"
2014-04-25 08:40:23 AM  
1 vote:

muck1969: there are so many useless office-speak word-salad lines to hate, but the phrase "with that said" pisses me off the most. there are better words or phrases that could have been used to describe if the previous statement is in support of, or in contrast to, the subsequent statement. using "synergy" in place of "teamwork" is a close second. the snark in this thread is inspiring.

I literally have to restrain myself from punching anyone who says "It is what it is."

/I do get a small bit of satisfaction picturing them on floor with a bloody face, though
2014-04-25 08:08:12 AM  
1 vote:

Ghastly: What does this mean for our proactive paradigms?

They died on the way back to their home planet.
2014-04-25 08:06:28 AM  
1 vote:
reach out.
leanig forward
Situational awareness
2014-04-25 07:44:29 AM  
1 vote:

Muta: MY boss often asks, "Could you prado that out for me?"

So I take it your chart is museum-quality.
2014-04-25 06:51:28 AM  
1 vote:

CaitoStreet: Lenny_da_Hog: enthralledgeishagirl: All we need is a mission statement and we will be able to begin our journey

Those are the ones that piss me off the most, as someone who did a lot of industrial policy writing and training.

Mission statements are actually important for policy writing -- The Preamble to the Constitution is a mission statement. It tells you everything you're trying to accomplish by establishing an administration or project plan.

Then along come seminar gurus pushing buzzwords to middle-managers who don't really understand what they mean. They diminish the importance by applying it to everything, and then when you try to train someone using the phrase "mission statement," they think they're being patronized and roll their eyes at you.

I could not agree more. The only thing I hate more then mission statements being trivialized are poorly written mission and vision statements.

Over a billion people seem to think the mission statement is to "do the needful"
2014-04-25 12:14:40 AM  
1 vote:
What does this mean for our proactive paradigms?
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