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(Newser)   Man writes his own obituary, and it's shorter than this headline   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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18409 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Apr 2014 at 3:02 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2014-04-14 07:42:31 PM  

poot_rootbeer: For sale, baby shoes. Never worn.
(Too small.)

father and son scuba gear for sale used once.
2014-04-14 07:52:22 PM  

bikerbob59: The Aristocrats!

This wins for brevity.

/chronic masterbater dies doing what he loved.
2014-04-14 08:18:05 PM  

Creoena: My headstone and obituary will say one thing:

"He did the needful"

So you did the charitable thing and loved up some fatties ?
2014-04-14 08:49:57 PM  

Mikey1969: "I could name that tune in 2 notes..."

"Go ahead and name that tune.."

"I Died".

Seriously, TFA puts in a picture, but they can't come up with a picture of the farking 3-word obituary? Jesus, this "journalism" thing is going downhill faster and faster every day. Hell, they didn't even publish the LONGER one that papers came up with.

royalty issue?
2014-04-14 09:35:02 PM  
Always figured the Coroners report on me will include the phrase "Urban Avalanche"
2014-04-14 10:13:23 PM  
2014-04-15 07:07:19 AM  
bbsimg.ngfiles.comView Full Size
2014-04-15 11:05:57 AM  
My tux is rented....
2014-04-15 11:07:21 AM  
My casket has a ten year warranty. Please dig me up in nine and half and check for leaks.....
2014-04-15 02:07:53 PM  

charlesmartel11235: Mistah Kurtz - he dead

You really must listen to Kenneth Branagh's reading, available on Audible.  It is a masterpiece.  I put it on my bedroom stereo almost every night when I go to bed.
2014-04-15 02:33:11 PM  

StreetlightInTheGhetto: StreetlightInTheGhetto: charlesmartel11235: Mistah Kurtz - he dead

I'm gonna go with "the horror, the horror". In quotes. Hopefully the neighborhood kids will have some fun with that.

But I also don't want a real burial (waste of space, donating or composting is cool) so maybe I'll just buy enough space for the stone then find a way to plant some rumors about my reanimated corpse to go live after I die. Obituary hints And whatnot. Then any intrepid kids trying to dig down would find no body. Or something more fun. Hmm...

Gotta be remembered *somehow*, right?

my dad wants to be stuffed/taxidermied and fitted with a pull string voice box with a record of his (less than useful) advice.
2014-04-15 02:35:05 PM  

TheGogmagog: poot_rootbeer: For sale, baby shoes. Never worn.
(Too small.)

father and son scuba gear for sale used once.

i think i just got the joke in full metal jacket when the guys are saying they'll sell some guns, never been used, only dropped once.

well, that darkens the mood.  i always thought that was merely a reference to poor quality control in our military.
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