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(CBC)   Pistorius stumps for forgiveness   ( divider line
    More: Followup, Oscar Pistorius, murder trial, night terrors, trial by jury, Reeva Steenkamp, premeditated murder  
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1592 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Apr 2014 at 9:28 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-04-07 12:28:42 PM  
2 votes:
I doubt he'll ever set foot in prison.

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2014-04-07 09:53:57 AM  
2 votes:
 If the leg don't fit, you must acquit.
2014-04-07 09:43:58 AM  
2 votes:
Pistorius delivered a tearful apology to his girlfriend's family in court.  He spoke in Afrikaaner.  Luckily enough, Fark managed to secure the services of the same hand signer who did such a nice job for President Obama when the president addressed the South African nation at the memorial for the late Nelson Mandela.  This is his translation of Pistorius' statements in court:

"I can't begin to tell you the depth of my sorrow at the loss of your late sister and daughter.  At first, I felt like Nancy Kerrigan felt being knee-capped, confused and hurting.  Then I realized I have no knees to cap and I just settled back into a feeling of confusion and hurt.  There are times since I've been cut off from beloved that I feel half a man, with the best part of me ripped from me.  I've thought through those tragic events and, try though I might, I can't seem to conjure up a logical explanation that will stand on its own and all I can say is this stumps me."
2014-04-07 08:18:38 AM  
2 votes:
He doesn't have a leg to stand on.

/Getting it out of the way early.
2014-04-07 12:54:42 PM  
1 vote:

Cold_Sassy: ...Sanctioned or not, he competed on a wildly tilted playi ...

My Mom always said this.

Dude, all that work. All the research to make sure I had my facts straight. And then you cut to commercial on the payoff pitch.
2014-04-07 10:11:43 AM  
1 vote:

Satanic_Hamster: What kind of idiot just starts shooting through a closed bathroom door without even confirming if there's a burglar in there, much less a family member?

I'm stumped.
2014-04-07 09:45:03 AM  
1 vote:
2014-04-07 09:36:00 AM  
1 vote:
I'm sure he's kicking himself.
2014-04-07 08:34:13 AM  
1 vote:
Well, shoot.
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