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(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)   When you live at 1400 Pennsylvania Ave. in Washington, D.C. you sometimes receive a lot of hate mail that wasn't meant for you   ( divider line
    More: Interesting, Obama, hate mail, Uniontown, minimum sentence, United States Attorney  
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9231 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Mar 2014 at 8:04 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-03-24 11:03:03 PM  
2 votes:
I'm sure one of our Fark Republicans will defend this brave, brave child molester and remind us of what a true patriot he is.
2014-03-24 08:45:52 PM  
2 votes:
The Trials of the Presidency

By Brant "Don't-get-your-hopes-up-for-an-impeachment" goose

"Why is it that I keep getting hate mail addressed to Occupant? Most of it seems to come from some guy in Springfield (state illegible) by the name of Abe Simpson!"

"Just ignore those, Mr. President. He writes so many letters, some of them slip through. He often signs the wrong, or sends them to the Canadian Embassy on Pennsylvania Avenue, where they really upset the Canadians."

"The Secret Service has looked into Mr. Simpson and he is a gormless senile Veteran with a long distinguished career as a soldier, spy, and Cabaret artiste under the stage names Leela or Lilly Apératif. He was invaluable during the War because he could pump Hitler and his cronies for information better than Mata Hari ever managed with the French, Belgians, and Germans. There was nothing he would not do for his country. NOTHING, if you catch my drift."

"Got it."

"Just remember, he doesn't hate you personally. He thinks you're Roosevelt."

"He thinks I'm FDR?"

"No, the other one, sir. They fought over the gals something awful. Mr. Simpson refused to follow Teddy up the hill at San Juan. He turned his horse around to go home. He later ate it."

"Because he couldn't cross the sea to Florida on horseback?"

"No. It was only three hours later. He never even got to the beach before the Cubans captured him and put him to work rolling Cigars on his nubile thighs for the Hated Gringos in the Republican Club in Washington, DC. The Cubans thought it was a good joke."

" Um, I think it was a good joke. (Don't tell Gingrich.) But see if you can still get some of those cigars for me to hand out to Republican Senators."

"That was nearly a hundred years ago, sir. But we have tried. Trust, us we have tried. We tried for Clinton and we tried for Reagan. He wanted one for Gorbie. But Mr. C. Montgomery Burns, the collector who owns the last 1,000 cigars will not sell for love nor money. He says that they are the most fragrant cigars he ever smoked and he likes to smoke one on his birthday. He claims he needs them all."
2014-03-24 08:29:34 PM  
2 votes:
The U.S. attorney's office in Pittsburgh did not disclose the contents of the letter

6 to one odds it contained phrases such as "Musli[mn]", "usurper", "half-breed", "Constitution", "Patriot", "Benghazi", "Kenya", "take", "back", "our", and "country".
2014-03-24 08:20:48 PM  
2 votes:
"The White House
1400 Pennsylvania Ave
Washington, DC 20500

Dear President Osama..."
2014-03-24 08:45:12 PM  
1 vote:
Picture of the prisoner:

static.giantbomb.comView Full Size
2014-03-24 08:11:03 PM  
1 vote:
Well, there are a bunch of Blah's in D.C. chances are good it reached one that needed to die.
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