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(Mental Floss)   Graph showing which countries read the most. America: TL;DR   ( mentalfloss.com) divider line
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9011 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Mar 2014 at 1:35 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-03-04 01:42:09 PM  
5 votes:
"You know I've noticed a certain anti-intellectualism going around this country ever since around 1980, coincidentally enough. I was in Nashville, Tennessee last weekend and after the show I went to a waffle house and I'm sitting there and I'm eating and reading a book. I don't know anybody, I'm alone, I'm eating and I'm reading a book. This waitress comes over to me (mocks chewing gum) 'what you readin' for?'...wow, I've never been asked that; not 'What am I reading', 'What am I reading  for?' Well, goddamnit, you stumped me...I guess I read for a lot of reasons - the main one is so I don't end up being a farkin' waffle waitress. Yeah, that would be pretty high on the list. Then this trucker in the booth next to me gets up, stands over me and says  [mocks Southern drawl] 'Well, looks like we got ourselves a readah'...aahh, what the fark's goin' on? It's like I walked into a Klan rally in a Boy George costume or something. Am I stepping out of some intellectual closet here? I read, there I said it. I feel better." ~ Bill Hicks
2014-03-04 02:04:16 PM  
4 votes:

Smeggy Smurf: I'd read more but the cats won't leave me alone in the shiatter

img.fark.netView Full Size
2014-03-04 01:42:52 PM  
4 votes:
i288.photobucket.comView Full Size
2014-03-04 01:40:37 PM  
3 votes:
Teenager: I read
Adult: What do you read?
Teenager: Twitter
2014-03-04 02:05:07 PM  
2 votes:
i635.photobucket.comView Full Size
2014-03-04 01:50:09 PM  
2 votes:
How do we know that the countries at the top of the list aren't full of slow readers?
2014-03-04 01:49:34 PM  
2 votes:
i.imgur.comView Full Size

This is what happens when you have an entire generation raised on online games and phone txt messages.  Anything over two sentences is, literally, tl;dr.
2014-03-04 01:43:22 PM  
2 votes:

Smeggy Smurf: I'd read more but the cats won't leave me alone in the shiatter

Um, stop peeing in their litterbox?
2014-03-04 01:30:58 PM  
2 votes:
mle.mymiddleearth.comView Full Size
2014-03-05 02:22:02 AM  
1 vote:

We're obviously up to something during those four hours a week.

From watching the Olympics, I'm guessing that it's curling.

That's over 216 hours a year per person, enough time to infiltrate the US and take it over without the Yankees noticing until it's too late.

The accent and terminology would give it away, we outnumber you roughly 10 to 1 and we're armed to the teeth.
2014-03-04 05:48:38 PM  
1 vote:
Do the articles in Hustler count?
2014-03-04 05:32:55 PM  
1 vote:

DubtodaIll: meat0918: DubtodaIll: macadamnut: DubtodaIll: Gravity's Rainbow, The Stranger, and 100 Years of Solitude.

[img4.wikia.nocookie.net image 576x384]

Don't try to turn this thread about illiterates into your own literature hipster litterbox.

If there's something I've never been it's a hipster.

That's exactly what a hipster would say

Yeesh, there's a Catch-22 for you.

I was a hipster before it was cool.
2014-03-04 04:13:13 PM  
1 vote:

anuran: What do you call someone who speaks three languages? Trilingual
What do you call someone who speaks two languages? Bilingual
What do you call someone who speaks one language? American

For extra irony, the joke works much better when you tell it in a language other than English, as in:

"What's the English word for someone who can speak two languages?"
"What's the English word for someone who can speak three languages?"
"What's the English word for someone who can only speak one language?"
2014-03-04 02:51:12 PM  
1 vote:
Anyone who says the Internet is bad for reading is full of crap.  Ever since I got my tablet last year my reading rate has skyrocketed.  Hell, I'm on Pirate Bay 3-4 times a week downloading new ebooks.  And not just international porn mags, but NY Times bestsellers and shiat.
2014-03-04 02:05:47 PM  
1 vote:
d202m5krfqbpi5.cloudfront.netView Full Size

I ain't got time to read!
2014-03-04 01:56:46 PM  
1 vote:
I had to go to Lexington, Ky (we have a house in Versailles) for a wedding. My young son at the time was getting crabby so I took him from the after party and went into a fast food place on our way to the hotel. The teenagers behind the counter were discussing how math/geometry (I am assuming nothing further) never did anything for them. As we left, the kid looked at me and asked "mom wants us to move here?" "Yes", "please fight her and let me get an education".
2014-03-04 01:51:34 PM  
1 vote:
[Smacks gum, looks at the map.] "Hey, rest of the world, whatchoo readin' for?"
2014-03-04 01:48:42 PM  
1 vote:

Weatherkiss: Jason English? Is that his real name?

whenyouputitthatway.comView Full Size
2014-03-04 01:46:47 PM  
1 vote:

Shaggy0717: Reading the same old book over and over again shouldn't count.

But I still can't find Waldo!
2014-03-04 01:40:59 PM  
1 vote:
I am reading Jonathan Livingston Seagull. So good!

Laugh all you want, but I am going to be all that I can be.
2014-03-04 01:40:17 PM  
1 vote:
WTF? Read? What for...I have a TV.
2014-03-04 01:39:34 PM  
1 vote:
FARK, it's not news, it's day old reddit.
2014-03-04 01:37:54 PM  
1 vote:
I'd read more but the cats won't leave me alone in the shiatter
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