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(Fork)   Bad Valentine's Day love poem thread. Come do your worst. Roses are red   ( divider line
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2278 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2014 at 11:33 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-14 10:33:20 AM  
4 votes:

Al_Ed: I feel like I should make an ee cummings joke...

Roses. roses roses
red red            red
red roses
2014-02-14 10:18:45 AM  
3 votes:
Roses are red
Violets are violet
get it right
2014-02-14 10:47:48 AM  
2 votes:
But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?
It is your ass, damn that shiat's fine.
2014-02-14 10:23:28 AM  
2 votes:
Roses are red
These poems are banal
I'd like to know
If you're down for some anal.

Violets are blue,
Roses are red.
You'd look really good
Tied up in my bed.
2014-02-14 10:14:06 AM  
2 votes:
You leave me so breathless;
you're charming and cute.
I never have loved
a more fine prostitute.
2014-02-14 10:13:30 AM  
2 votes:
Roses are red
And so are your lips
Probably because of the psychology of makeup-makers because the lips are used as a symbol of a woman's vagina, which becomes redder, fuller and plumper when aroused and engorged with blood. By painting the lips red, it symbolizes that the woman is aroused and interested in a mate and is using it as a signal to attract attention to that fact.
Something about your nips.
2014-02-14 10:12:54 AM  
2 votes:
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If it weren't for you
My dick would rust
2014-02-14 10:12:26 AM  
2 votes:
This haiku is bad.
Valentine's day is now hear.
I misspelled a word.
2014-02-14 02:36:24 PM  
1 vote:
Roses are expensive
So I cancelled my order
As for your ring,
try looking in Mordor.
2014-02-14 02:05:35 PM  
1 vote:
Roses are red
Pickles are green
I like your legs
And what's in between.
2014-02-14 01:20:00 PM  
1 vote:
We climb into bed
You turned out the light.
Can we please do anal?
Cause your cooter ain't tight.

Now that you're drunk
On Old Milwaukee
Let's see how you look
After bukkake.

I've looked up at Mars
I've looked up at Venus
But I never saw a girl
With that big a peenus

I knew you were so impressed
When you saw my Beemer.
Maybe now you'll let me
Give you a Cleveland Steamer

Instead of staying in
Weeping all alone
How I 'bout I give you
The ol' rusty trombone?

What we're doing is OK.
Trust me, I'm a professional.
So why not get back on your knees
Here in the confessional.
2014-02-14 01:11:57 PM  
1 vote:
img.photobucket.comView Full Size
2014-02-14 01:07:16 PM  
1 vote:

TheSwizz: Hey I just farked you
And this is crazy
But there's the kitchen
So sandwich maybe?


You are gifted!
2014-02-14 12:20:38 PM  
1 vote:
I was having a really crappy day
til this thread came along and brightened the way
thank you dear farkers for making me laugh
Now, who'd like to join me in this nice bubble bath?
2014-02-14 12:00:39 PM  
1 vote:

shrthrdude: There once was a girl named meg
They guys, they started to beg
She made them all wait
They were starting to hate
Her ass, they all wanted to peg

Wait wait wait

I thought I was doing the pegging.
2014-02-14 11:54:31 AM  
1 vote:
My favorite jazz bassist was the great Charles Mingus.
Its the only word I could think of that rhymes with pussy eating.
2014-02-14 11:50:06 AM  
1 vote:
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
It's really been an exhausting week,
What say we just lay on the sofa and fall asleep watching the Olympics again.
2014-02-14 11:48:30 AM  
1 vote:
Valentine's Day,
Is for the weak.
I show you my love,
everytime I speak.

They tell me this day,
I must buy you a treat.
Then they jack up the pay,
so f*ck all those creeps.

I'll do nothing special,
for this fake Holiday.
But laugh like a devil,
at those Hallmark see's as prey.

Because in the end,
you know how I feel.
And screw they who pretend,
I must compete to be a beau ideal.
2014-02-14 11:45:49 AM  
1 vote:
This Haiku is so
I come on Valentine's Day
On your face and tits
2014-02-14 11:43:39 AM  
1 vote:
Your roses are red,
My roses are redder,
I submitted this thread earlier,
But my headline was better.
2014-02-14 11:40:31 AM  
1 vote:
In the polls
I'm takin' a lickin'
But I still have you
So hold still, chicken
2014-02-14 11:35:27 AM  
1 vote:
Here come the liters
to enjoy your wit
or maybe they'll say
What the f*ck is this sh*t
2014-02-14 11:07:41 AM  
1 vote:
Your body quivers with excitement;
your skin slides warm, against mine.
But could you please contain your flatus,
at least while we sixty-nine?
2014-02-14 11:04:44 AM  
1 vote:

KingoftheCheese: Roses are red
This thread has gone green
I think we all need to thank
Our buddy Chris Ween

Oh, KOTC, you put admins to shame
Even though his rhymes suck, you should have thanked James!
2014-02-14 11:04:32 AM  
1 vote:
Roses are red
Violets are blue
You will be with Ron
When I murder you

And I'm not going to lie
Its a sad way to go
When the police chase me
In my Ford Bronco

They will question me once
And I will deny it
They may question me twice
But the bloody glove still will not fit

I got away with murder
You may think I did it
But I'm a free man
So who gives a shiat
2014-02-14 11:03:18 AM  
1 vote:
Roses are red
This thread has gone green
I think we all need to thank
Our buddy Chris Ween
2014-02-14 10:55:00 AM  
1 vote:
Roses are red,
This thread is funny.
I can't wait to be
Balls deep in your cunny.
2014-02-14 10:49:41 AM  
1 vote:
Labia are red
Your balls are blue
You're alone today
Sucks to be you
2014-02-14 10:32:17 AM  
1 vote:
I'm not much for poems
I hope this goes well
Please put on the lotion
While you're in my well
MBK [TotalFark]
2014-02-14 10:22:09 AM  
1 vote:
Girl your ugly
and that's okay
someone out there
will hit it anyway

(not directed at anyone, DON"T HURT ME)
2014-02-14 10:21:55 AM  
1 vote:
Now that I gave in
And we threesome'd with my brother
I assume you're down
For you, me and your mother?
2014-02-14 10:20:49 AM  
1 vote:
Roses are red
You're a stupid c*nt
2014-02-14 10:20:23 AM  
1 vote:
Ayn Rand says
that A=A
I think she's a lez
Who like the vajay.
2014-02-14 10:19:09 AM  
1 vote:
The roses are dead,
The violets are too,
I'm not ashamed to tell you,
I wish you were too.

(no it hasnt been a good v-day)
2014-02-14 10:18:57 AM  
1 vote:
We made love so sweetly,
for hour after hour.
I think I completely
used five pounds of flour.
2014-02-14 10:18:06 AM  
1 vote:
Farkers are sexist
Wimmin be shoppin'
I'd appreciate it much
If you'd get my nuts a-poppin
2014-02-14 10:16:34 AM  
1 vote:
friends may come
and friends may go
and friends may peter out, you know

but we'll be friends
through thick and thin
peter out..or peter in
2014-02-14 10:15:35 AM  
1 vote:
Roses are red,
violets are blue.
Let's get naked
and f*ck.
2014-02-14 10:13:08 AM  
1 vote:
Roses are red
Black are my Crocs
Please let me smell
Your sweet tampon box
2014-02-14 10:10:40 AM  
1 vote:
I loved her 'til morning,
and sighed, as I kissed her,
"it's too bad I'm married
to your biatch of a sister."
2014-02-14 10:10:35 AM  
1 vote:
Roses are red.
Blood is redder.
Hey, do you like
Eddie Vedder?

Roses are red
Roses are blue
Goddamn GMO
makes flowers confusing too.
2014-02-14 10:09:34 AM  
1 vote:
Roses are red, violets are blue.
I have the clap, and now you do too.
2014-02-14 10:09:20 AM  
1 vote:
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