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(New York Daily News)   Massive, near-record-size python discovered in Florida's Everglades, submitter's pants   ( nydailynews.com) divider line
67
    More: Scary, Everglades, florida, submitter, South Florida Water Management District, Burmese pythons, Burmese, indigenous species, water management  
•       •       •

10883 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Feb 2014 at 9:38 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



67 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2wolves
2014-02-05 08:23:49 PM  
Just wait a couple of years until the anacondas start hitting full maturity.
 
No Such Agency
2014-02-05 09:42:15 PM  

2wolves: Just wait a couple of years until the anacondas start hitting full maturity.


I saw a movie about those once and it was scary, they can practically fly.
 
Sticky Hands
2014-02-05 09:42:20 PM  
The snake... fell short of the state record by 6 inches...
story of subby's  live.
 
Pribar
2014-02-05 09:43:00 PM  
Subby just because ya took an epic dump in ya pants is no reason to brag...
 
Wadded Beef [TotalFark]
2014-02-05 09:43:13 PM  
Subby, why is your pants in the Florida Everglades?
 
calbert [TotalFark]
2014-02-05 09:44:27 PM  
subby's a chick.
 
2wolves
2014-02-05 09:49:36 PM  

No Such Agency: 2wolves: Just wait a couple of years until the anacondas start hitting full maturity.

I saw a movie about those once and it was scary, they can practically fly.


Plus anacondas are live birthing snakes.  No eggs for any other predator to snack upon.
 
whatshisname [TotalFark]
2014-02-05 09:49:46 PM  
Why don't they just release 2 of every endangered species into the Everglades? Things seem to thrive there.
 
dangelder
2014-02-05 09:51:21 PM  
wfmu.orgView Full Size
 
wichitaleaf
2014-02-05 09:52:02 PM  
Why don't they just firebomb the everglades.
 
Amish Tech Support [BareFark]
2014-02-05 09:52:06 PM  
Florida is full of cold blooded slow moving dull creatures that grow fat while waiting to die. It also has a lot of pythons.
 
Solid State Vittles
2014-02-05 09:52:23 PM  

2wolves: Plus anacondas are live birthing snakes. No eggs for any other predator to snack upon.


That's the part that's really gonna fark things up.  Is it wrong of me to be looking forward to this?
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2014-02-05 09:57:45 PM  

Solid State Vittles: 2wolves: Plus anacondas are live birthing snakes. No eggs for any other predator to snack upon.

That's the part that's really gonna fark things up.  Is it wrong of me to be looking forward to this?


I totally am. Hopefully, someone will release some Komodo dragons down there before too much longer.
 
TheOther
2014-02-05 10:01:15 PM  

whatshisname: Why don't they just release 2 of every endangered species into the Everglades?


Because the gawddam pythons will eat them.
 
stuffy
2014-02-05 10:03:27 PM  
That will make a lot of nice boots.
 
karmaceutical
2014-02-05 10:06:02 PM  

wichitaleaf: Why don't they just firebomb the everglades.


Well, see... it is pretty wet to begin with...
 
wildcardjack
2014-02-05 10:07:58 PM  

wichitaleaf: Why don't they just firebomb the everglades.


Just wait for a dry year. It'll immolate itself.
 
parasol
2014-02-05 10:09:23 PM  
take a farkette's word for it - the glades can be stunning in their own way - and at least some parts of the state are still foolishly dependent on water - if not the people, then Big Sugar

there are scarier invasives doing quite well in FL - at least some of the local hipster chefs are making efforts to make some of them edible
 
baorao
2014-02-05 10:10:09 PM  

Solid State Vittles: 2wolves: Plus anacondas are live birthing snakes. No eggs for any other predator to snack upon.

That's the part that's really gonna fark things up.  Is it wrong of me to be looking forward to this?


MegaPython v. SuperConda
 
Mugato [TotalFark]
2014-02-05 10:10:32 PM  
Pave the Everglades. Just evacuate the mammals and napalm the entire things and pave it all. It would sure as shiat getting to Miami a lot easier now that that prick Scott vetoed the speed rail that everyone wanted.
 
MurphyMurphy
2014-02-05 10:11:54 PM  
speaking of record breaking pythons.....
 
AeAe
2014-02-05 10:25:17 PM  
Don't gorillas eat pythons or something?  Just release a bunch of gorillas ..
 
ten foiled hats
2014-02-05 10:26:30 PM  

2wolves: Just wait a couple of years until the anacondas start hitting full maturity.


Something of an interesting read on that:
http://www.livingalongsidewildlife.com/2013/11/an-unstoppable-anacon da -invasion-in.html
 
2wolves
2014-02-05 10:27:17 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Solid State Vittles: 2wolves: Plus anacondas are live birthing snakes. No eggs for any other predator to snack upon.

That's the part that's really gonna fark things up.  Is it wrong of me to be looking forward to this?

I totally am. Hopefully, someone will release some Komodo dragons down there before too much longer.


Nile monitor lizards are running loose in Florida.  Still just on the east coast.
 
Oldiron_79
2014-02-05 10:27:22 PM  
Time to release the Gorillas.
 
drjekel_mrhyde
2014-02-05 10:42:46 PM  
Fark you had to kill it for
 
elvisaintdead [TotalFark]
2014-02-05 10:43:45 PM  

Oldiron_79: Time to release the Gorillas.


From orbit- it's the only way to be sure.
 
TrotlineDesigns
2014-02-05 10:46:34 PM  
2wolves:

Nile monitor lizards are running loose in Florida.  Still just on the east coast.

No, they are as far north as Clewiston and DNR just trapped a Tegu lizard in Lake Harbor last week.
 
2wolves
2014-02-05 10:47:09 PM  

ten foiled hats: 2wolves: Just wait a couple of years until the anacondas start hitting full maturity.

Something of an interesting read on that:
http://www.livingalongsidewildlife.com/2013/11/an-unstoppable-anacon da -invasion-in.html


http://articles.latimes.com/2010/jan/24/nation/la-na-anaconda24-2010 ja n24

So far what it boils down to is that there is no consensus concerning green anacondas living anywhere north of the southern tip of Florida.
 
Emposter
2014-02-05 10:48:34 PM  
State record.  And it didn't even beat that.  This gets news coverage?

Hey, look at that snake!  Isn't it big?
Yeah, I guess it is.   But I've seen bigger.
THIS IS NEWS!

ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz
 
flup
2014-02-05 10:54:00 PM  
(it's his penis)
 
99.998er
2014-02-05 11:00:13 PM  

parasol: take a farkette's word for it - the glades can be stunning in their own way - and at least some parts of the state are still foolishly dependent on water - if not the people, then Big Sugar

there are scarier invasives doing quite well in FL - at least some of the local hipster chefs are making efforts to make some of them edible


I thought the hipster chefs were the scarier invasive creatures to invade Florida,
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2014-02-05 11:02:13 PM  

2wolves: Gyrfalcon: Solid State Vittles: 2wolves: Plus anacondas are live birthing snakes. No eggs for any other predator to snack upon.

That's the part that's really gonna fark things up.  Is it wrong of me to be looking forward to this?

I totally am. Hopefully, someone will release some Komodo dragons down there before too much longer.

Nile monitor lizards are running loose in Florida.  Still just on the east coast.


Yeah, but I want the big 10-foot long venomous motherf*ckers, the ones that can eat people whole.
 
Prey4reign [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2014-02-05 11:06:21 PM  
"The python found on Tuesday was killed ..."  This was a case of cold blooded murder, because ... snakes are cold blooded.  Rimshot and I'll be here all week.  Try the veal and be generous with your server.
 
Disappearing Hitchhiker
2014-02-05 11:06:31 PM  

parasol: take a farkette's word for it - the glades can be stunning in their own way - and at least some parts of the state are still foolishly dependent on water - if not the people, then Big Sugar

there are scarier invasives doing quite well in FL - at least some of the local hipster chefs are making efforts to make some of them edible


Mmmmmmmmm nutria........
 
2wolves
2014-02-05 11:06:31 PM  

Gyrfalcon: 2wolves: Gyrfalcon: Solid State Vittles: 2wolves: Plus anacondas are live birthing snakes. No eggs for any other predator to snack upon.

That's the part that's really gonna fark things up.  Is it wrong of me to be looking forward to this?

I totally am. Hopefully, someone will release some Komodo dragons down there before too much longer.

Nile monitor lizards are running loose in Florida.  Still just on the east coast.

Yeah, but I want the big 10-foot long venomous motherf*ckers, the ones that can eat people whole.


YouTube worthy reptiles is it?
 
Capt.Plywood
2014-02-05 11:10:18 PM  
How he got in my pajamas, I don't know.
 
TheManofPA [TotalFark]
2014-02-05 11:13:41 PM  
Watch your cornhole subby
 
parasol
2014-02-05 11:18:34 PM  

99.998er: parasol: take a farkette's word for it - the glades can be stunning in their own way - and at least some parts of the state are still foolishly dependent on water - if not the people, then Big Sugar

there are scarier invasives doing quite well in FL - at least some of the local hipster chefs are making efforts to make some of them edible

I thought the hipster chefs were the scarier invasive creatures to invade Florida,


t/y - i haven't laugh/snarfed milk from my nose in a long while
 
Resident Muslim
2014-02-05 11:30:17 PM  

AeAe: Don't gorillas eat pythons or something?  Just release a bunch of gorillas ..


You can't. Florida doesn't have freezing winters to kill off the gorillas. Duh.
 
Oldiron_79
2014-02-05 11:32:06 PM  

Gyrfalcon: 2wolves: Gyrfalcon: Solid State Vittles: 2wolves: Plus anacondas are live birthing snakes. No eggs for any other predator to snack upon.

That's the part that's really gonna fark things up.  Is it wrong of me to be looking forward to this?

I totally am. Hopefully, someone will release some Komodo dragons down there before too much longer.

Nile monitor lizards are running loose in Florida.  Still just on the east coast.

Yeah, but I want the big 10-foot long venomous motherf*ckers, the ones that can eat people whole.


Well komodos are like critically endangered so you arent gonna have a pet one unless you are like open an accredited zoo for your own personal amusement rich.
 
redly1
2014-02-05 11:34:41 PM  
on the plus side, if sea level rise achieves moderate dooms day predictions, this problem will be short lived
 
tbeatty
2014-02-05 11:41:15 PM  
Subby has a poor excuse for the thing that bit off his penis.  Small farm animals and rodents such as his hamster experiments mysteriously missing from article.
 
AeAe
2014-02-05 11:44:05 PM  

Resident Muslim: AeAe: Don't gorillas eat pythons or something?  Just release a bunch of gorillas ..

You can't. Florida doesn't have freezing winters to kill off the gorillas. Duh.


Doh!
 
OscarTamerz
2014-02-05 11:46:22 PM  
adultfilmdatabase.comView Full Size

Mandingo is so happy for you Submitter he's laughing with you, not at you.
 
TylerGuyler
2014-02-06 12:01:49 AM  
Has the state enlisted the help of J Lo or Jon Voight, yet? I don't think Florida is really even trying.
 
Gyrfalcon [TotalFark]
2014-02-06 12:10:36 AM  

2wolves: Gyrfalcon: 2wolves: Gyrfalcon: Solid State Vittles: 2wolves: Plus anacondas are live birthing snakes. No eggs for any other predator to snack upon.

That's the part that's really gonna fark things up.  Is it wrong of me to be looking forward to this?

I totally am. Hopefully, someone will release some Komodo dragons down there before too much longer.

Nile monitor lizards are running loose in Florida.  Still just on the east coast.

Yeah, but I want the big 10-foot long venomous motherf*ckers, the ones that can eat people whole.

YouTube worthy reptiles is it?


You bet. The vids of dragons chasing down fat rednecks on Hoverounds and bluehaired old ladies with poodles would pay for the damage to the environment in a week.
 
BATMANATEE
2014-02-06 01:13:51 AM  
WHATCHA GONNA DO, BROTHER?
 
Lee Jackson Beauregard
2014-02-06 01:14:41 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size


Are we going to have to?
 
doctor wu
2014-02-06 01:20:19 AM  
Ok, I'm a moron and freely admit I know nothing about snakes, blah blah, so here goes. Why is that guy able to play with that thing without being attacked? Is it in some kind of docile state?
 
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