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(Fox News)   Bad: Mouse infestation. Worse: Rat infestation. Worse: Alligator infestation. Fark: Alligators are protected   ( foxnews.com) divider line
    More: Scary, ExxonMobil, Mississippi, retention basin, alligators, Mississippi Supreme Court  
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5956 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2014 at 3:07 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-04 04:03:25 PM  
2 votes:
So they bought land in the bayou, and are disappointed that there are alligators involved.

I might have a legitimate claim against the guy who sold me a house in north Jersey. I woke up yesterday and the whole property was covered in a most inconvenient form of frozen water.
2014-02-04 03:15:19 PM  
2 votes:
Generally, it's not a good idea to purchase land next to Some Dude's Petroleum Waste Landfill Inc., regardless of the presence of alligators.
2014-02-04 04:27:12 PM  
1 vote:

durbnpoisn: Fissile: A few years ago, some people in Jersey found a timber rattler nest in their backyard.  The state told them, "Protected species.  There is nothing you can do about it.  I would stay out of the yard if I was you."

This reminds me of a story...
My next door neighbor (in NJ) had a skunk take up residence under his shed.  He called animal control because, we've all got kids and pets, and because the thing was generally stinking up the whole neighborhood.  Animal control said, "nothing we can do unless it's injured, or has rabies, or something."

So, what do you do if you have no idea how to get rid of a skunk?  Fortunately, in my neighbor's case, you call your neighbor.
I set up a couple of live traps (essentially a cage with a drop-down door).  Put some cat food in there and waited.  First I caught 2 of my cats (dumbasses).  The next morning, I got the skunk.
Then I borrowed another neighbor's truck, drove it about 10 miles into a really nice park and set it free.

Fortunately, I didn't get sprayed.  And the skunk was pregnant, which I didn't realize until it was running away.  It can be a mother and have babies all it wants.  Just not next door, thank you...
Evolution has done a terrible misservice to the skunk.  They are actualy really cute animals.  But that defense mechanism is WAY overkill.

You baited a trap with cat food, caught cats that you had let outside, and the cats are dumb asses?
2014-02-04 04:21:54 PM  
1 vote:
That's just great. She gets dinner and Dixieland and laid. And I get mosquitoes and no beer and... not laid. How could this get any...

static1.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size

LET ME FINISH... worse. You ruined it. You ruined the moment.
2014-02-04 03:44:56 PM  
1 vote:

Rapmaster2000: jfivealive:

Bullshiat, next you'll tell me that onions don't cure the flu?  I know they work because I had the flu, put out some onions, and in a few days I did not have the flu anymore.

*googles "onions flu"*

A friend told me that onions absorb germs from the air. She also said that this has been known for centuries and that in medieval times onions protected people against the Black Death.

See.  Proof.
2014-02-04 03:13:38 PM  
1 vote:
Diplomatic immunity!
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