Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NPR)   This year's Super Bowl Bud commercial featuring a puppy and a Clydesdale proved to be the most dust-in-room creating one of all   ( divider line
    More: Sappy, Super Bowl Bud, Clydesdale, Super Bowl  
•       •       •

3496 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2014 at 4:18 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-02-03 04:31:42 PM  
5 votes:
The Coke commercial wins, hands down, for causing the most outrage among right-wingers, though.
2014-02-03 04:33:05 PM  
3 votes:
I've always thought there's an inverse correlation between the quality of a beer commercial and the quality of the beer being advertised therein.
2014-02-03 04:27:12 PM  
3 votes:
Imma let you finish, but Audi had the best doggie comercial...
cdn5.feeldesain.comView Full Size
2014-02-03 05:08:41 PM  
2 votes:
The only ad that made me cry was the Coca-Cola "America the Beautiful" one, after learning that a legitimate percentage of Americans think that a) it's our national anthem and b) it can never be sung in anything but English.

Granted, those types probably weren't happy Ray Charles was allowed to sing it anywhere but the cotton fields.
2014-02-03 04:49:41 PM  
2 votes:
Cute? Heart-warming? Well, if the fires of Hell are "warm" enough for your stoney, god-hating heart, then I suppose so.

You're so blind to the cute puppy that you fail to recognize (or perhaps you're secretly celebrating?) the underlying message that drinking beer will make you more comfortable having Gay Sex with Young Children.

That's right. After all, the union of an adult horse, a gigantic Clydesdale no less, and a juvenile dog or "puppy", is an obvious metaphor for the unnatural union of a well-hung man, perhaps of Scottish descent (ref. the river Clyde), with a thick, bushy beard and pubic area. His enormous, horse-like genitals are wantonly available beneath a flouncing kilt. Pair him with a young man, perhaps a teenager or "twink" as The Gay likes to refer to the youthful males on which they prey. The rebellious young man leaves his school or home and runs away in search of adventure. Feeling emboldened he ventures into the "barn", only a soft "n" sound away from "bar", where alcohol is served. Note that in the puppy's first encounter, the horse is not completely visible. Only his head comes over the door of the stall, so the youthful and inexperienced "pup" has no idea what he's getting himself into. The horse, on the other hand, is a mature adult, lurking in his stall, an allusion, no doubt, to the bathroom stall in The Gay's bar where these unnatural unions are so often consummated.

The man attempts to return the puppy to the kennel three times, a clear reference to Christ's asking Peter three times if he would deny him. Of course, in this case the Christ figure comes a third time to redeem the puppy only to be thwarted by a host of the massive homosexuals with their thick, veined erections and powerfully muscled bodies, at once symbols of lust and desire, but also of menace and intimidation for anyone who would stand between them and the soft, tender young body of the un-violated youth, his smooth belly still pink and soft, his eyes wide with wonder at these new experiences, but ignorant to the Spiritual Poison that awaits.

We see the man and woman are clearly interested in one another in a natural, normal heterosexual fashion and it is suggested that once they become better acquainted they will indeed engage in heterosexual congress, his copious ejaculate filling her loins until her body overflows and it trickles down her thigh. But their natural and wholesome expression of God's desire as mandated in Genesis (man and woman cleve together? remember that part?), the dog is now "separated" from this as the ruthless, lusty, muscular gang of "studs" have surrounded the car, taken the "pup", and now enclosed him in their area, their turf, where the big, burley, sweaty, stud "Clydesdale" with his prodigious turgidity can now be free to seduce and have his way with the "puppy."

Notice how they frolic uninhibited in the pen while the loving parental figures can only look on, helpless. Clearly the attractive woman with supple, pouting bosom and ample round hips represents Christian Eve, while the resourceful, strong man with his muscular forearms and thighs, his cowboy jeans suggesting, but not flaunting, a generous manhood that will please the woman in manners proscribed by Almighty God, taking her in multi-positioned sex throughout the course of their rural day, all in a beautiful representation of Christ as Husband of the Church (us). But the Beer company doesn't care about the Family. They say, "Let your young men run free, let them come to the city and drink beer so their senses are dulled when the "studs" mount them and penetrate them deeply with huge erections, laying them in slings with their feet suspended from the ceiling as they coat each other with lubricants and numbing agents that allow them to remain erect longer without reaching orgasm, the only thing that will bring escape for the smooth young man, now their plaything. But the penetrators don't reach climax and stop. No, they continue to savage the youth's anus for terrible and unnatural duration because they've trained themselves in their cult of penis worship to prolong and forestall orgasm through drugs and obsessive discipline.

And the youth's parents can only weep and pray from the fence line, knowing that their son is an anal sex slave of The Gay.

And you think it's adorable. You should be ashamed.
2014-02-03 04:46:54 PM  
2 votes:
The commercial was notable for the brief scene of the Clyde jumping the fence.
That's something you don't see every day.
2014-02-03 04:28:04 PM  
2 votes:
I didn't find it that effective, really. There was only one plot element, and there was no development of the idea.

The dog didn't want to be separated from the horse at the beginning of the spot, and, by the end of the spot, the dog still didn't want to be separated from the horse. OK, then.

2014-02-03 11:23:16 PM  
1 vote:

John Buck 41: Mikey1969: WTFDYW: dryknife: Bob Dylan selling Chryslers made me tear up a little.

Got a link to that? I missed it. Must have been out on the porch having a smoke.

Jesus, the same thing was like half an hour long, don't know how you missed it. It was basically a much better version of Clint Eastwood's 'Halftime in America' one from a few years back...

2 years ago.

Well, a "few" usually starts at about three, since a couple is two, so I'm off by a year. Does that somehow make you FarkChampion? I mean, if it does, I can hand you the trophy personally if you'd like...
2014-02-03 06:15:18 PM  
1 vote:

berniex: Mikey1969: berniex: Puppy mills suck.

Good thing that all breeders aren't puppy mills then, isn't it? Otherwise, you might have something to get outraged about.

As far as I'm concerned, all breeders ARE puppy mills, as long as there are millions of unwanted dogs and puppies.

Too bad that "as far as you're concerned" isn't the gold standard for word definitions.

Breeders are not the same as puppy farms, period.
2014-02-03 06:03:05 PM  
1 vote:

Mikey1969: berniex: Puppy mills suck.

Good thing that all breeders aren't puppy mills then, isn't it? Otherwise, you might have something to get outraged about.

As far as I'm concerned, all breeders ARE puppy mills, as long as there are millions of unwanted dogs and puppies.
2014-02-03 04:51:15 PM  
1 vote:
I kinda liked the Cheerios commercial where the girl is being told she's getting a baby brother and her reaction is to leverage it to get a new puppy.
2014-02-03 04:30:41 PM  
1 vote:
Worst.  Ad.  EVER.

It still doesn't compel me to go out and start drinking Bud.
2014-02-03 04:28:06 PM  
1 vote:
Could they find a more overwrought cliche farking commercial? That thing was a by the numbers sappy POS.
2014-02-03 04:23:57 PM  
1 vote:
Now if it were a lesbian puppy barking Arabic, you'd hear the outrage.
Displayed 14 of 14 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.