uttertosh: uttertosh: Ishkur: uttertosh: That's the thing, though. Once you start bullshiatting, it's a slippery slippery slope. I mean, I started with just one white lie, which lead me into fibbing quite a bit, which led me directly into insurance telemarketing. Fastforward a decade, and now my fark handle is literally uttertosh.Next step: Fox News.Nah, that's the step up from door-to-door encyclopaedia salesman, not insurance telemarketer. Insurance telemarketers usually get into personal finance, band promotion/management, internet commentary, or real estate - something that requires actually knowing you're lying in the first place and keeping that poker face at all times.Or public fundraising for Greenpeace, yeah.
uttertosh: Nah, that's the step up from door-to-door encyclopaedia salesman
doglover: Tobacco isn't safe, but it's not exactly deadly either.
doglover: Back on topic, though.Tobacco is one of the more benign smokes out there. It takes years to kill you.I like loose incense. Frankincense smoke burns like hellfire if you get too close to the braizer. You can feel your lungs resining up. That'd kill ya in weeks or months.And coal? Coal smoke is bright green, heavier than air, and can gack you in minutes.But remember, smoke is still smoke. None of it's healthy.
Ishkur: Those people have increased in number so much recently that Hell had to add a new Circle just to accommodate them all:
doglover: Tobacco isn't safe, but it's not exactly deadly either.It's much safer than a lot of things in your home. Staircases, for example, can turn deadly in seconds. Anyone under 40 grew up with anti-smoking propaganda every bit as false as the bogus studies PM paid for about how cigarettes made you virile etc.Lots of things will kill you eventually. Moderation is the key.
omeganuepsilon: That's the thing with anti-smokers. They think less of people who do things that they dislike, making the following very apt indeed:
drxym: omeganuepsilon: That's the thing with anti-smokers. They think less of people who do things that they dislike, making the following very apt indeed:If you asked 10 people who were anti-smoking about their opinions and their toleration of smokers you would 10 different answers. But hey, invent some stupid straw man and pretend they're all "riled up" if you prefer.I expect most would be quite happy to see you smoke yourself to death providing you didn't harm anybody else in the process.
Pangea: omeganuepsilon: That's the thing with anti-smokers. They think less of people who do things that they dislike, making the following very apt indeed:That sentiment is definitely not limited to anti-smokers. Please see pretty much any thread on Fark for confirmation.I suggest bicycle threads for some of the best, because there is no clear cut "obviously correct" position.
Kit Fister: I don't smoke. But you know what? If you want to smoke? Go for it. Your body, you do what you want to with it. You only get 100 years, maybe a bit extra, to be on this earth and enjoy it. Why worry about what might kill you or be bad for you? We're all going to die anyway.
IRQ12: This is stupid and pitiful. Pretty much every company in that era was guilty of everything from 1/2 truths to outright lying about benefits and health concerns with their products.Not that it makes it ok but it's a complete waste of time to make a company say "gee we were wrong" after the numerous courts have already made them say it with their wallets.
uttertosh: Not one mention of bankers. Not one. And 'Falsifiers' qualifies me to the 2nd deepest level of hell, all because I made fake ID for my little brother?!? I'd have at least thought that my time as a torturer for MI7 would have counted for something...
Bigdogdaddy: brimed03: tillerman35: What I find interesting in the mock-up is that nowhere does it make those statements in the first person. It's A Court ordered this statement. And cigarette companies control the level of nicotine...Even when they explicitly list the cigarette companies by name, it's in the third person. Hell, even when they mention cigarettes themselves, they're mentioned generically, no ownership taken.There's no WE intentionally designed cigarettes to make them more addictive. There's no OUR PRODUCT kills, on average, 1200 Americans every day.This is about as meaningful as the time I called up my best friend Doug and said "My mom made me call to apologize for calling you a poopie head."You know, you're right. I'd like to see a list of names, all the people in tobacco, advertising, research, and government who contributed to the addiction and the lies for the past 50+ years.Might take more than a one-page ad though.Ad headline: WE SUCK. AND WE'RE ONLY COURT-ORDERED SORRY.[cdn.freelancestar.com image 600x375]
If you like these links, you'll love
The next best thing to UltraFark
Sign up for the Fark NotNewsletter!
Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.
When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.
Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.
You need to create an account to submit links or post comments.
Click here to submit a link.
Also on Fark
Submit a Link »
Copyright © 1999 - 2018 Fark, Inc | Last updated: Apr 26 2018 17:48:02
Runtime: 0.216 sec (215 ms)