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(Toronto Sun)   Shia LeBoeuf announces his retirement from public life, using a nice speech originally written by J.D. Salinger   ( divider line
    More: Sad, Shia Labeouf, J.D. Salinger, Blast!  
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7230 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 10 Jan 2014 at 2:59 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

343 Comments     (+0 »)
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2014-01-10 04:01:33 PM  

FraggleStickCar: HotWingConspiracy: FraggleStickCar: I don't know whether the whole plagiarism thing started as a stunt, or just ended up that way, but the idiotic version of haughty arrogance this dude has been putting on display for a long time now is pretty fascinating considering its coming from the star of Even Stevens and the Transformers movies.

It's like he's didn't just plagiarize someone's work, he's also plagiarizing a shiatty attitude of someone who has actually done something of artistic merit. (showing your dick in a sigur ros video doesn't count, unfortunately)

He's trying to play it like he's some Warholian figure and the world just isn't ready.

Basically he knows he's pretty well farked and had nothing left to do but keep quiet or troll. He chose troll but is trying to sell it as some take down of the intellectual property culture.

Yeah that seems most likely.  It is unfortunate for him that lofty ideas like that are maybe more than a little bit beyond his actual grasp.

Or maybe it's all part of even larger and more carefully orchestrated scheme, and you and I will merely be another set of dominos to fall when Shia Labeouf executes his final master stroke.

"If we can hit that bullseye the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards, checkmate!"

-Shia LaBeouf
2014-01-10 04:02:52 PM  
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone"   "May the force be with you."

Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:03:57 PM  
"Shia LeBEOUFS. Shia'll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between."

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:04:35 PM  
"All the fame you should look for in life is to have lived it quietly."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:05:41 PM  

Majikthise: "One day, I shall come back. Yes, I shall come back. Until then, there must be no regrets, no tears, no anxieties. Just go forward in all your beliefs and prove to me that I am not mistaken in mine. "

*Shia LeBeouf

Ah.  This nearly brought a tear to my eye.  Never knew Shia had a granddaughter named Susan Foreman.
2014-01-10 04:07:19 PM  
"I couldn't care less about Shia LaBeouf."

-Shea LaBeouf
2014-01-10 04:07:25 PM  
"Is it in yet?" -Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:07:42 PM  
"When I was all set to go, when I had my bags and all, I stood for a while next to the stairs and took a last look down the goddam corridor. I was sort of crying. I don't know why. I put my red hunting hat on, and turned the peak around to the back, the way I liked it, and then I yelled at the top of my goddam voice, "Sleep tight, ya morons!" I'll bet I woke up every bastard on the whole floor. Then I got the hell out. Some stupid guy had thrown peanut shells all over the stairs, and I damn near broke my crazy neck."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:08:34 PM  
"Call me Ishmael."

-Shia LeBeoughft

Mugato: All of these aren't actually quotes from Shia LeBeouf, are they?


some of my previous ones were direct from the source, just like Manon.
2014-01-10 04:08:57 PM  
kristinhoppe.files.wordpress.comView Full Size
2014-01-10 04:10:12 PM  
"Let's roll."

-Shia LeBouf
2014-01-10 04:10:50 PM  
Can we possibly retroactively remove him from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?
2014-01-10 04:11:18 PM  
"I've got to go, Rock. It's all right. I'm not afraid. Some time, Rock, when the team is up against it, when things are wrong and the breaks are beating the boys, ask them to go in there with all they've got and win just one for the Gipper. I don't know where I'll be then, Rock. But I'll know about it, and I'll be happy."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:11:29 PM  
img2.timeinc.netView Full Size

Someone break the news to Vanity Fair...The New Tom Hanks he is not.
2014-01-10 04:12:08 PM  
"Totes adorbs."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:13:40 PM  
"Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, give in. Never give in. Never give in. Never give in."

  - Shia LeBouf
2014-01-10 04:14:40 PM  
"You remember when we used to go down to Bloy's to try to pick up girls?  That's where he met her at.  Camp meetin.  That'll make you ponder the ways of God.  He asked her out and she told him she wouldn't go out with a man that drank.  He looked her straight in the eye and told her he didn't drink.  She like to fell over backwards.  I guess it come as something of a shock to her to meet a even bigger liar than what she was.  But he told the naked truth.  Of course she called his hand on it.  Said she knew for a fact he drank.  Said everybody in Jeff Davis County knew he drank and drank plenty and was wild as a buck.  He never batted an eye.  Said he used to but he quit.  She asked him when did he quit and he said I just now did.  And she went out with him.  And as far as I know he never took another drink.  Till she quit him of course.  By then he had a lot of catchin up to do.  Tell me about the evils of liquor.  Liquor aint nothing. "

Shia LeBeef
2014-01-10 04:15:55 PM  
farbish.comView Full Size
2014-01-10 04:16:08 PM  
"Nothing!  Absolutely nothing!  Stupid!  You're so stupid!"

- Shia Lebeouf
2014-01-10 04:16:54 PM  
"Time for some traffic problems in Ft. Lee."

- Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 04:17:24 PM  
"You face forward, or you face the possibility of shock and damage."

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:18:06 PM  
"Your kind cannot bear that the world be ordinary.  That it contain nothing save what stands before one.  But the Mexican world is a world of adornment only and underneath it is very plain indeed.  While your world ... your world totters upon an unspoken labyrinth of questions.  And we will devour you, my friend.  You and all your pale empire."

The Beef
2014-01-10 04:18:56 PM  
"Moral law is an invention of mankind for the disenfranchisement of the powerful in favor of the weak. Historical law subverts it at every turn."

Shia LeBouef
2014-01-10 04:19:32 PM  
"Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that.... MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! GO! GO! GO!"

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:20:57 PM  
"Go for the eyes, Boo!"

-Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:21:24 PM  
"An artist's only concern is to shoot for some kind of perfection, and on his own terms, not anyone else's."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:25:51 PM  
I heard his mother was one of those flower child sluts who got passed around at the commune back in the day.
2014-01-10 04:26:24 PM  
"It was a very stupid thing to do, I'll admit, but I hardly didn't even know I was doing it."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:26:27 PM  
Magua knows that the white man is a dog to his women. When they are tired, he puts down his tomahawk to feed their laziness.  When the Grey Hair is dead, Magua will eat his heart. Before he dies, Magua will put his children under the knife, so the Grey Hair will know his seed is wiped out forever.

- Chiapas La Boheme

ZeroCorpse: Can we possibly retroactively remove him from Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull?

That movie was never made, so why bother?

Tomfoolery Rules Over Logical Living: "Nothing!  Absolutely nothing!  Stupid!  You're so stupid!"

- Shia Lebeouf

2014-01-10 04:26:35 PM  
"It is a mistake to expect too much of justice in the world.  The notion that evil is seldom rewarded is greatly overspoken for if there were no advantage to it then men would shun it and how could virtue then be attached to its repudiation?  It is true that time heals bereavement, but it does so only at the cost of the slow extinction of those loved ones from the heart's memory which is the sole place of their abode then or now.  Faces fade, voices dim.  Seize them back.  Speak with them.  Call their names.  Do this and do not let sorrow die for it is the sweetening of every gift."

Chia McBeef
2014-01-10 04:28:15 PM  

Spare Me: I heard his mother was one of those flower child sluts who got passed around at the commune back in the day.

"My mom is the backbone not just of my family but of many families." -Sheera La Beard.

ZOMG, that puts the quote into so much context!
2014-01-10 04:29:05 PM  
"So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay."

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:29:39 PM  
    Then wear the gold hat, if that will move her;
    If you can bounce high, bounce for her too,
    Till she cry "Lover, gold-hatted, high-bouncing lover,
    I must have you!"

--Shia le Boeuf
2014-01-10 04:30:40 PM  
"You get nothing! You lose! Good day,sir!"

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:31:33 PM  
No no no, no no no no no!
2014-01-10 04:33:28 PM  
"A categorical imperative would be one which represented an action as objectively necessary in itself, without reference to any other purpose."

-Sheeshee LaRoux
2014-01-10 04:34:09 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: At 27, hopefully he'll plagiarize Cobain's wall art.

HaywoodJablonski: I would have preferred he use Bud Dwyer's exit strategy

Starhawk: So he's still eligible for the 27 Club? Woohoo!

I'm always amazed at the eagerness of people to wish death upon someone for such banal reasons. I know it's the internet, but it's still pretty disturbing.
2014-01-10 04:35:11 PM  
"Do I really look like a guy with a plan?"

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:35:19 PM  
"Hoooottttt pocket!" - Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:36:41 PM  
"I'm a map, I'm a map, I'm a map, I'm a map, I'm a MAAAAAPP!"

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:36:44 PM  
"They have seen my strength for themselves, have watched me rise from the darkness of war, dripping with my enemies' blood. I drove five great giants into chains, chased all of that race from the earth. I swam in the blackness of night, hunting monsters out of the ocean, and killing them one by one; death was my errand and the fate they had earned. Now Grendel and I are called together, and I've come."

-Shia LaBeowulf
2014-01-10 04:37:43 PM  
Dear fellas, I can't believe how fast things move on the outside. I saw an automobile once when I was a kid, but now they're everywhere. The world went and got itself in a big damn hurry. The parole board got me into this halfway house called "The Brewer" and a job bagging groceries at the Foodway. It's hard work and I try to keep up, but my hands hurt most of the time. I don't think the store manager likes me very much. Sometimes after work, I go to the park and feed the birds. I keep thinking Jake might just show up and say hello, but he never does. I hope wherever he is, he's doin' okay and makin' new friends. I have trouble sleepin' at night. I have bad dreams like I'm falling. I wake up scared. Sometimes it takes me a while to remember where I am. Maybe I should get me a gun and rob the Foodway so they'd send me home. I could shoot the manager while I was at it, sort of like a bonus. I guess I'm too old for that sort of nonsense any more. I don't like it here. I'm tired of being afraid all the time. I've decided not to stay. I doubt they'll kick up any fuss. Not for an old crook like me. P.S: Tell Heywood I'm sorry I put a knife to his throat. No hard feelings

Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:38:02 PM  
"I regret I only have one life to give to my country"

Shia LeBeefstain
2014-01-10 04:38:36 PM  
"Sweep the leg. Do you have a problem with that, Mr. Lawrence?" - Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:38:52 PM  
"It's not over until I say it's over!"

- Shia LeBeouf
2014-01-10 04:39:19 PM  
In this fall...this is very this fall I'm going to take my talents to South Beach and join the Miami Heat.

-Shia Lebron
2014-01-10 04:40:56 PM  
"There's a Devil in my dick, a demon in my semen."

~Shia LeBoeuf
2014-01-10 04:41:17 PM  

Car_Ramrod: Nana's Vibrator: At 27, hopefully he'll plagiarize Cobain's wall art.

HaywoodJablonski: I would have preferred he use Bud Dwyer's exit strategy

Starhawk: So he's still eligible for the 27 Club? Woohoo!

I'm always amazed at the eagerness of people to wish death upon someone for such banal reasons. I know it's the internet, but it's still pretty disturbing.

That. Even worse is when they tell other posters to kill themselves over trivial shiat like which movie they like more.
2014-01-10 04:42:55 PM  
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"

- Shia Leboof
2014-01-10 04:43:10 PM  
"I'm still better liked than that Apple commercial guy."

-shiat LeBeef
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