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(USA Today)   Traditional burials are dying in Florida as over half of residents would rather shoot their loved ones in the sky, turn them into a locket, or just dump them in the Gulf of Mexico   ( usatoday.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Gulf of Mexico, Cape Coral, Southwest Florida  
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2190 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jan 2014 at 11:45 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2014-01-05 05:24:16 PM  

de_Selby: [The Loved One.jpg]

/nothing is obscure on fark

Just watched it a couple nights ago on TCM. Mr Joyboy's mom eating and smacking her lips still makes me howl like a monkey. Had no idea it was based on a book by Evelyn Waugh (Brideshead Revisited) until seeing again. A comedy classic years ahead of it's time.
2014-01-05 05:25:32 PM  

SoupJohnB: Would not be the 1st time I've had my ashes hauled. Hyuck, yuck

Your jib, I like the cut of it.
2014-01-05 05:42:14 PM  

awfulperson: You may think this is crazy, but when I die, I want all my bodily fluids to be drained and replaced with toxic chemicals designed to keep my flesh from spoiling. I then want to have my body cosmetically enhanced with makeup, modelling clay, and industrial fillers to give my corpse the appearance of being a slightly-less-dead corpse, so that when people lie and say, "he looks like he's sleeping" or "he looks so peaceful" they won't feel so obvious about it. That, and if there are tomb robbers, they won't feel so uncomfortable at my decomposed appearance.

I then want my corpse dressed in the finest clothes in which one could rot (if one hadn't been filled with flesh-preserving chemicals), placed in a box made of the finest mahogany and silks which has been polished to a high sheen (make sure to wipe off the fingerprints before burial), vacuum-sealed, then lowered slowly and gently into a watertight concrete coffer, topfilled with earth, and landscaped in perpetuity.

Better still, there is a company that advertises locally, offering "funeral apartments"--I don't know what that is, but if it involves a simulated living space where my relatives could visit me, and they'd have my corpse propped up on a couch to greet them, I think that would be super-duper. Stick a motion-activated speaker in my gut, and preprogram my voice with greetings and responses for my visitors.

Now there's a seed of an interesting sci-fi story idea...fake apartments for visiting the dead, with a camera, mic, speaker, and a small AI computer implanted in the carcass.  Trying to deal with relatives a generation or two removed, as told from the AI's POV.  Or maybe they put the wrong AI into the body...or it's become self-aware...
2014-01-05 05:46:11 PM  

Dahnkster: SoupJohnB: Would not be the 1st time I've had my ashes hauled. Hyuck, yuck

Your jib, I like the cut of it.

*raises glass to clink a toast*  Yarrrgh, matey.
2014-01-05 06:38:12 PM  
This is what I want!

3.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2014-01-05 06:43:01 PM  
You had me at "shoot their loved ones..."
2014-01-05 07:11:24 PM  

bratface: This is what I want!

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x250]

There is a way to do that and get around all those pesky laws and such.  Have your body cremated and then have them sprinkled on the ship before it is lit.  Yeah, it is not the same thing, but you are more likely to get away with just burning a ship as a symbolic gesture than you would with actually cremating a body on a burning ship.
2014-01-05 07:14:17 PM  
Burial is stupid. Waste of land and money
2014-01-05 07:17:04 PM  
Matthew 8:22
2014-01-05 09:42:44 PM  
Legalize taxidermy!
i265.photobucket.comView Full Size

*best picture I could find from that episode*
2014-01-05 11:51:33 PM  
This can't just be Florida dumping ashes in to the Gulf, and I say that because it makes Galveston's water make perfect sense.
2014-01-06 09:30:54 AM  
What's so new about this?  People have been dumping bodies in the Gulf / Everglades as long as there's been people (and crime) in Florida.

Oh wait..this story's about non-murder deaths....Nevermind.
2014-01-06 10:04:47 AM  

It's the only way to go.

"Lo, there do I see my father.
Lo, there do I see my mother.
And my sister and my brother
Lo, there do I see the line of my people
Back to the beginning.
Lo, they do call to me.
They bid me take my place among them
In the halls of Valhalla
Where the brave may live forever."
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