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(Washington Post)   Three USA Today employees fired, lose severance packages after getting fingerprints on corporate artwork: A "big blue ball" that cost $100,000.   ( washingtonpost.com) divider line
    More: Asinine  
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7144 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Dec 2001 at 5:28 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

65 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-12-06 05:31:40 AM  
Uh...lame. Corporate whores need to chill out.

2001-12-06 05:39:12 AM  
dammit -- you beat me
2001-12-06 05:41:25 AM  
I say we should all boycott USA Today. Anyone else with me?
2001-12-06 05:44:40 AM  
I can't boycott them, because I have never read their piece of shiat so called newspaper in my life. But I am willing to boycott anyone who advertises in the paper.
2001-12-06 05:45:02 AM  
they will win their lawsuits and endup with more money than they would have with their salary..good for them. i am tired of arrogant executives who are usually idiots with small dicks.
2001-12-06 05:55:49 AM  
Ther terrorists won back in 1984 when this "newspaper" first began. Most newspapers nowadays resort to that silly big color graphics.
2001-12-06 06:07:47 AM  
How dare they touch the blue ball. Thats the bosses big blue ball and he said no one can touch it. Dont touch my ball ! he cried with a concerned look.
2001-12-06 06:18:18 AM  
Sources report the Albuquerue ball was coated in a blue powdered mixture of PCP, MDMA and heroin. All three of the women reportedly jumped from the roof about 15 minutes later after what witnesses say was a panicked realization that "Kthulu" had "called them to fly home". Gannet CEO Douglas McCorkindale had previously come forward about his addiction to the Albuquerque mixture of substances, and admits his successful career to "licking the ball" every morning.
2001-12-06 06:56:13 AM  
How about someone linking in a pic of this "hypnotic" sculpture? I wanna see!! :)
2001-12-06 06:57:48 AM  
2001-12-06 07:14:31 AM  
We can boycott the Pigskin Pick football pool.
2001-12-06 07:22:29 AM  
I want to dip my balls in it.
2001-12-06 07:50:41 AM  
Operation Latte Thunder?
2001-12-06 08:07:59 AM  
Women just can't help themselves when it comes to touching big blue balls
2001-12-06 08:17:01 AM  
The social pages say I've got the biggest balls of all.....
2001-12-06 08:17:17 AM  
I'd give my left nut to touch that ball
2001-12-06 08:20:09 AM  

That site sucked big blue balls. It looks like a blind retarded third grader made it.
2001-12-06 08:31:36 AM  
USA Today: We put the "paper" in "newspaper".
2001-12-06 08:36:34 AM  
USA Today: Like People Magazine, but with more colorful charts
2001-12-06 08:42:48 AM  
A picture of this 'hypnotic' blue ball would be nice.
2001-12-06 08:46:08 AM  
Blue balls are very hypnotic. It's true.
2001-12-06 08:53:19 AM  
fingerprints on "BlueBalls".....Doesn't sound that bad to me!
2001-12-06 08:53:28 AM  
Oh...my...God...they're boycotting the Christmas party.

The horror!
2001-12-06 08:55:59 AM  
"There were three employees involved in an incident and an investigation was conducted and security tapes were reviewed," Curley told us yesterday, adding that criminal charges were considered. "People came to a conclusion and made recommendations to me, and after hearing them, the decision was made." Curley called the firings "irreversible."

Farking chicken-shiat CEO. Listen to the passive voice. He doesn't dare just say "I fired them". I hate this kind of corporate 'leadership'. Oh yea-- and I hope these women get better jobs at better papers.

2001-12-06 08:57:07 AM  
Farking arrogant management. How stupid do you have to be to blow 100 grand on a sculpture? You have to be the head of Gannett, that's how.
2001-12-06 08:58:55 AM  
Skywalker.... Is all of this crap out of your guestbook true?

Hi joHn (OOps, meant to say Skywalker). How are you doing over there on 38 Elm Street in Lynn, MA zip code 01902, phone number (78)596-2851? WELL, I WAS GLAD TO SEE YOUR SITE, oN HomeSTead (password "boobies"). SEEES u LLAterZZZ. U RULZ!!!!!

Probably not a good idea to leave it up in public? Or perhaps its karma for spamming fark
2001-12-06 09:10:12 AM  
In yesterdays issue of USA Today, they had an article about the US Command Center for the war in Afghanistan. Complete with detailed map on it's location. Traitors!!!!
2001-12-06 09:19:20 AM  
I'm so happy I don't work for these wankers anymore.
2001-12-06 09:27:34 AM  
Ironic... Usually female employees would get a salary increase after touching the CEOs balls.

By the way, did anyone else picture "Operation Latte Thunder" from Fight Club when you read about the giant ball artwork at this corporation?
2001-12-06 09:31:51 AM  
I'm very impressed with the artist's reaction -- "Oh my God! Are you kidding? This is crazy!" The creator of the art object didn't even expect such severe punishment; USA Today did it entirely on their own. Bastards.
2001-12-06 09:55:43 AM  
"USA Today - The choice newspaper for 9 out of 10 terrorists!!"
2001-12-06 10:01:02 AM  
You can take my blue balls from me when you pry them from my cold, dead, uhhhh never mind
2001-12-06 10:17:12 AM  
Jeezus, don't you think USA today might have overreacted just a little?
2001-12-06 10:32:29 AM  
Down the page, there's another item:
High-Tech Heretic
• Novelist Tom Wolfe recently scoffed at technological innovation, telling the Baltimore Sun, "One reason that Jefferson, or for that matter Zola or Balzac or any of these great figures of the 18th and 19th centuries, got so much done, so much more done than people today, is that they didn't have any time-saving or labor-saving devices."
Yeah, that and the fact that THEY WERE STINKING RICH.
2001-12-06 10:34:41 AM  
Bored at work:

search Morpheus for:
small dick, big balls, lots of cum.

then, decide whether it's real or not.
2001-12-06 10:40:34 AM  
Maybe someone can explain it to me. I've never understood the name of this paper. USA Today. Everything in the paper happened yesterday didn't it? So shouldn't they call it USA yesterday? Am I missing something? Are they psychics?
2001-12-06 10:45:57 AM  
The penalty was greeted with shock from the women's colleagues, some of whom threatened to boycott the company Christmas party.

No. No! Anything but the Christmas Party!
2001-12-06 11:33:05 AM  
oh geeze...no don't boycott the xmas party

hey maybe the ceo likes getting the female employees drunk and taking advantage of them at the xmas party...maybe that actually is a serious threat
2001-12-06 11:33:05 AM  
Nothing about blue balls is funny.
2001-12-06 11:35:13 AM  
Sounds like a frickin Seinfeld script.
2001-12-06 11:40:59 AM  
Some balls are held for business, some balls are held for charity, but the balls that are held for pleasure are the balls that I like best!
2001-12-06 11:58:07 AM  
Some balls are held for charity, and some for fancy dress, but when there held for pleasure their the balls that I like best. My balls are always bouncing to the left and to the right. It's my belief that my big balls should be held every night.

2001-12-06 12:09:25 PM  
we need a Fight Club tag
2001-12-06 12:22:34 PM  
Corporate art is an oxymoron
2001-12-06 12:25:15 PM  
Well, I think they should at least be held accountable for defacing the ball, it is an expensive piece of artwork, and they shouldn't have to put up a "do not touch" sign like for kids or anything. (Maybe they should have made them clean it, since it was all dusty)

I did like the part about people threatening to "boycott the christmas party"... they probably didn't want to go to the farking thing anyway, so that's their out!
2001-12-06 12:32:49 PM  
G0dzilla: Any paper is a better paper. USA Today eats a dick.
2001-12-06 12:52:36 PM  
I wish more stockholders invested based on thier principles. To see companies punished for crap like this with falling stock prices would be great.
2001-12-06 01:01:22 PM  
Ah...behold. Look what we are bombing the rocks to protect. The corporate Taleban. What hypocrites we are. Phuck the suits. This is what our flag flies for. D ickheadedness.
2001-12-06 01:09:07 PM  
anyone have a picture of this corporate art? I'd love to see the giant bowling ball that cost a hundred large.
2001-12-06 01:29:17 PM  
A public service announcement from Lord Argent.
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