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(Standard Digital (Kenya))   Not news: Police track down and impound stolen property. News: A cow. Fark: Which had already been slaughtered and was being cooked for a wedding reception   ( divider line
    More: Unlikely  
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2039 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2013 at 9:34 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

15 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
2013-12-23 07:06:04 AM  
No names - believable? Nah, funny though.
2013-12-23 09:36:27 AM  
Charges dropped due to lack of evidence (butp)...
2013-12-23 09:40:28 AM  
There was a cow at Subby's wedding, too... his mom! rofl
2013-12-23 09:42:13 AM  
Did they have a steak out?
2013-12-23 09:44:56 AM  
Replacing Duck Dynasty on A&E -- The Wedding Butcher.
2013-12-23 09:47:02 AM  
Picture of the cops
cdn-static.denofgeek.comView Full Size
2013-12-23 09:47:23 AM  
Well there goes the dowry.
2013-12-23 09:55:28 AM  

Brick-House: Charges dropped due to lack of evidence (butplug)...

2013-12-23 09:57:39 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-12-23 10:04:56 AM  
Law and Order - SCU (Stolen Cow Unit)

Abubba:  Got a report of a stolen cow.
Kisaranna:  (Sigh) I'm never going to get my child to that virgin sacrifice
A:  Your daughter must be 14.  What man would find her acceptable now?
K:  (Sigh)  Indeed.  I may sell her to the war lord as a sex slave.
A:  It's better for all that way.
K:  I had hoped that she would marry a rich man with his own hut and maybe a farm.
A:  A girl can dream.
K:  So can her mom.  Where was the cow stolen?
A:  Report came in on the jungle drums.  Collection of mud huts 24.
K:  I should have known.  Only an albino fool would take a cow through that area.
A:  We warn them.  They do not listen.  They are like the palm fronds of yesterday.
K:  I know.  I know.
Collection of mud huts 24

Victim:  I was taking my cow to market when a young lady stopped me and asked me if the moon was going to come out tonight!  When I cast my weather sticks upon the ground for their answer, I was struck from behind by a very large club and when I awoke, my cow was gone.
A:  Do you know how long you lingered between the lands of the dead and the lands of the living, sir?
V:  I was only gone long enough to see the families who had passed in the last year.
K;  Ten minutes at most.
A:  Yes.  They couldn't have gotten far.  Wait here, sir.
V:  Yes sir and undesirable woman.
(away from the victim)
A:  How did he know it was a large club, if it struck him from behind?
K:  I thought the same thing but I waited for you to say something out of respect and fear that you might beat me again.  That wound looks like it was self inflicted.
A:  I will allow you to point that out to me.  Maybe we should question him further.
K:  I will be the good cop.
A:  I shall be the one with the evil and vile spirit living within.
(Goes back to the vicitm)
K:  I have but one simple question for you sir.  Why do you allow demons to live in you?
V:  What?
A:  (Begins pummeling the victim) I shall beat the demons from your body and you will live in the light
of truth!
V:  Ah! The demons have left me!  The cow is hidden in a mud hut nearby! I will take you there and show you it is resplendent and happy!  The demons made me sell the cow to two people!  I thought if it were stolen, neither buyer would be upset with my wretchedness!
A:  I believe all the demons have fled you sir.  I shall cut off only one of your hands as a lesson.
V:  It is well.
K:  But  if you pull this stunt again, I shall see you are strung up by your genitals as is customary for second offenders.
V:  You will neither see me or hear of me again, discarded old woman.
A:  Get out of here.
K:  Well, that took care of that.  (Sigh) I worry about my son.  He has been in that army for two years now.  I fear I won't see him for his 10th birthday.
A:  Well, swing by the medicine man.  Maybe he can give you a potion and shut that unyielding yap of yours.
K:  Certainly, but I am buying.
(tones)(Fade out)
2013-12-23 10:11:49 AM  
we hang rustlers here, podner!
2013-12-23 10:19:59 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: There was a cow at Subby's wedding, too... his mom! rofl

2013-12-23 11:08:28 AM  
Such dialogue is rarely so well done in a medium such as FARK, Harry Freakstorm.
2013-12-23 01:04:56 PM  
that's a load of bull.
2013-12-23 02:53:05 PM  
Why did they confiscate the rice pilau?
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