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(New York Daily News)   Man turns dead son into diamond. Boy, and here you thought YOUR dad gave you a lot of pressure   ( nydailynews.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Italians, adamant, sons  
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7703 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Dec 2013 at 6:47 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-12-22 06:49:23 PM  
10 votes:
27.media.tumblr.comView Full Size

"Your dead son is now diamonds!"
2013-12-22 06:57:44 PM  
9 votes:
Father to son:

♫ Shine on you la-a-a-zy diamond. ♫
2013-12-22 06:52:56 PM  
5 votes:
Wonder if the kid's name was Jared.
2013-12-22 07:22:25 PM  
4 votes:
25.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
2013-12-22 07:14:12 PM  
3 votes:
What the story didn't tell you is that he had the diamond ground up and used the pieces to create a diamond saw blade.  That blade was then used to carve a giant glass sculpture of his son.  Then the glass sculpture was crushed and recycled into soda bottles.  The father the meticulously collected his urine after drinking all the soda, and distilled it down to extract the urea.  That was used as fertilizer for a rose bush in the garden.  Subsequently, he gathered the rose petals to make a lovely tea.  But it turned out that wasn't a rose bush, and instead was a deadly poisonous datura bush.  So when the father died, he had his ashes flown to Switzerland, and the circle of life continues.
2013-12-22 06:55:59 PM  
3 votes:
Shine bright like a dead kid
Shine bright like a dead kid
Shine bright like a dead kid
2013-12-22 06:51:18 PM  
3 votes:
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"I love my dead gay diamond!"
2013-12-22 08:39:03 PM  
2 votes:
img546.imageshack.usView Full Size
2013-12-22 07:08:10 PM  
2 votes:
So do you have to wait until your relatives are dead to have this procedure performed on them?
2013-12-22 07:03:29 PM  
2 votes:

Lady Indica: And the resulting stones are synthetics so the only 'value' they have is sentimental. Which I suppose is also a good thing.

There goes all hope for my Soylent Diamond factory.
2013-12-22 06:49:09 PM  
2 votes:
And they said he wouldn't amount to anything

/nice subby
2013-12-22 10:16:46 PM  
1 vote:

SpdrJay: So do you have to wait until your relatives are dead to have this procedure performed on them?

No waiting necessary. It will, however, be a bit of a shock, if they're not quite dead yet.

/ nibble nibble
2013-12-22 08:34:59 PM  
1 vote:

megarian: Na, I'm good to go!


Great, now I just need you to sign this contract agreeing that you're on call 24/7, can't work for competitors, that any ideas you may have in the course of your employment are mine, and that you can't unionize.

/Not that there would be anybody to unionize with. You are the only woman at this enterprise, probably
//At least that's what I need you to tell yourself. It's on page 372 of the employee manual, right before "names you are encouraged to call me during the act"
///Now, drop your pants and touch your toes. I'm gonna show you where the wild goose goes
2013-12-22 07:51:37 PM  
1 vote:

nytmare: Turning ashes into diamonds has long been a commercial service.

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2013-12-22 07:47:48 PM  
1 vote:
His grieving process has many facets.
2013-12-22 07:03:22 PM  
1 vote:

syzygy whizz: Better than conflict diamonds however....

If the two argued a lot, it might still be considered a conflict diamond.
2013-12-22 07:00:03 PM  
1 vote:
Too late for a HOTY, right?  That's seriously too bad, this is a masterwork.  A jewel, if you will.
2013-12-22 06:25:32 PM  
1 vote:
Well, he always said his boy was a real jewel.

/Bravo, Subby.
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