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(Examiner)   For the love of money... here we go again. Mega Millions rolls up to $550 million. For that kind of money, subby could buy Fark   ( examiner.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Mega Millions  
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1845 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Dec 2013 at 7:10 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
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2013-12-14 07:18:39 PM  
3 votes:
I would kill four people.
2013-12-14 07:21:30 PM  
2 votes:

AbiNormal: With that kind of money I bet I could buy the Presidency twice like the Bush family did.

How many faded Kerry stickers do you have on your Hyundai Tuscon?
2013-12-15 01:50:38 AM  
1 vote:
I'd offer anyone that has to work the nights selling lottery tickets $1,000 dollars to quit on the spot.

Seriously, so annoying. People who have never bought a lottery ticket shouldn't buy lottery tickets. Take the free advice.

"Um, do you have that mega powerball thing? It's like, 400 billion dollars, right? How much does it cost? A dollar? Yeah, I'll take a couple of those. Yeah, 3 of them. Oh, you can only pay cash? Well, I don't have any. You sure you don't take debit cards? It's as good as cash!"

"No. Just cash. When I said only cash, I didn't mean debit, check, or a song. Papery foldin' money. Now please move on, there are 10 people behind you who all want to go through this same conversation."

I'm bitter.
2013-12-14 11:43:28 PM  
1 vote:
I find it amusing how many people would give to charities in this thread. It reminds me of Louis CK talking about how he likes to think about giving up his first class airline seat to a soldier because it makes him feel good, but then he doesn't. Not that you fine people wouldn't, and don't already, give lots of money to charity. It's just something I do to feel better about -myself-.

Anyhow, if I won 550 million I'd start a couple non-profits that need to exist, a couple of businesses I see a place and need for, and fund research into some sorely needed technologies. Fox News would be calling me the biggest socialist to ever do whatever it is they think socialists do. And then I'd discover the money I'd won was short a 0 or two to get all that off the ground, give up, and hire a bunch of hobo's, give them assault weapons and take over a small country somewhere nice and retire.

Or buy up all of a non-essential commodity in a world region just to screw with people. The Thank You Card shortage of 2014. The toilet paper run of Brown Tuesday. The Great Valve Stem Cap Scare.

Good. Evil. They're both fine choices.
2013-12-14 08:07:06 PM  
1 vote:
If I won I would buy about 1000 acres far the fark away from any big cities.  On it I would build my home, a modest 3000 sq footer.  Behind it would be my 25 car garage, a small track, dragstrip and a workshop for woodworking, gardening and such.  toward the edge of my land, where I would not have to listen to their cat fights, would be the house for all my whores.  There would be about 10 or so.  One would make her way to the main house each night to pleasure me while my wife is working in her 1000 sq foot scrapbooking/crafts cottage.  They would be rotated out and replaced every few months.  I would also have a nice garden which would grow most of my food, acres of every fruit and veggie you could think of, and some you probably wouldn't.  It would of course be tended by some attractive, young immigrant women who might occasionally get to serve in my whore stable.  My garage would contain a 1969 Dodge Daytona, Bugatti Veyron, hot rodded orange 1976 Pinto, Viper, Z06 Vette, Nissan GTR, and 70 Roadrunner, GMC Typhoon, Regal GNX, Buick GS 455 and a Bentley among other toys.
2013-12-14 07:52:29 PM  
1 vote:
Considering the prices right now I'd buy Detroit for $40k, mow it down and build my own city.
It would look like Org
2013-12-14 07:25:15 PM  
1 vote:
Hmmm, for every $2 I spend on used books I expect $10 in profits, minimum. Perhaps my business is why I have such a hard time getting myself to engage in house-favored gambling, I deal in the small for small for about 10 hours a week.

Oh, and I'd take the cash option because I know what I'd do with the money. 80% insured tax exempt municipal bonds, 10% playing with covered calls, 5% VC investing, 5% cash on hand. And fark the charities.
2013-12-14 07:19:16 PM  
1 vote:
With that much money, I'd come down with a nasty case of the affluenza that's been going around.
2013-12-14 04:23:30 PM  
1 vote:
2 chicks at the same time, 550 times.
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