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(Fark)   Fark's 2013 Headline of the Year contest, Round 2: March through May   ( fark.com) divider line
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3962 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Dec 2013 at 4:00 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-12-12 10:25:31 AM  
Hello and welcome to the second greenlit voting thread for Fark's Headline of the Year contest for 2013. We've collected the best headlines from each month and let the Totalfarkers vote on their favorites. These are the 10 top-voted headlines from March through May.

Now it's up to you: vote on your favorites, and the top five from this contest will make it to the final round next week. There will also be a contest for each of the biggest subtabs later: sports, showbiz, geek, politics and business. The week after that we will have the voting threads for pun/wordplay headlines and the context headline of the year.

There are also some that you might not see here because either: 1) they've been moved to a separate contest, such as a context headline or one that's on a subtab, or 2) they didn't make it out of the voting threads in Totalfark.

Please don't enable voting; the finalists for this period are set. Nothing wrong with sharing a favorite headline from this period, as long as you don't enable voting for it.

So enjoy these and vote for the ones you like.
2013-12-12 10:26:33 AM  
Police round up two baby goats running in traffic ... *sigh* ... kids these days

2013-12-12 10:26:48 AM  
First black bears spotted in Anchorage. White bears immediately fear decline in den value

2013-12-12 10:27:06 AM  
Man accused of bestiality porn gets off on a technicality. Also, a horse, several dogs, a lemur and a pack of ferrets

2013-12-12 10:27:24 AM  
Why the new pope, even though he is a Jesuit, chose the name "Francis" rather than Ignatius to honor his order's founder: Maybe to invoke St Francis' commitment to charity and social justice, or maybe just to avoid being "Iggy Pope"

2013-12-12 10:27:43 AM  
Gardeners celebrate naked planting day with local hoes

2013-12-12 10:27:58 AM  
Starbucks to ban smokers within 25 feet of the entrance. Wouldn't that put them in front of another Starbucks?

2013-12-12 10:28:13 AM  
True beef or not true beef, that is equestrian

2013-12-12 11:06:44 AM  
Actual headline: "FBI joins search for missing Brown student". There's a first time for everything, I suppose

2013-12-12 11:07:01 AM  
England slated to get six inches, encouraged to lie back and think of itself

2013-12-12 11:07:18 AM  
Fetus found in hospital trash bin, officially kicking off prom season

2013-12-12 11:07:33 AM  
Herpes virus now leads to memory loss. Especially when you have it and your spouse wants to know where you got it

2013-12-12 11:07:53 AM  
Entire Vatican library to be digitized across 2.8 pedobytes

2013-12-12 11:12:09 AM  
Transgender high school student wins right to wear dress to prom. No word on whether it will be an original Wang

2013-12-12 11:12:24 AM  
Woman told she's allergic to husband's sperm, says the news was hard to swallow

2013-12-12 11:12:39 AM  
India's 'Disneyland' set to open, now hiring caste members

2013-12-12 11:13:06 AM  
Mom tells school to remove all potential nut threats to allergic son, which is silly since most schools don't even use slatted chairs

2013-12-12 11:13:25 AM  
There is unrest in the forest, There is trouble with the trees, For the maples want some respite, From the farking syrup thieves

2013-12-12 11:14:40 AM  
Serial masturbator to represent himself in court as it is his habit to handle his own business

2013-12-12 11:14:57 AM  
Gabrielle Giffords honored with JFK award... well of course, she did meet the one major requirement

2013-12-12 11:15:32 AM  
When the porn makes you feel like inserting an eel ... that's a moray

2013-12-12 11:15:56 AM  
Deaf parents charged with killing their crying baby, waive their right to hearing

2013-12-12 11:16:31 AM  
"3rd Grader Who Loved to Sing Among the OK Tornado Victims": That is one disturbed 3rd grader

2013-12-12 11:16:48 AM  
Man kills self in Notre Dame cathedral in Paris. Tour guide not surprised, says he had a hunch back at the bell tower

2013-12-12 11:17:05 AM  
Best Korea fires 6th missile into the sea. Reports say that the ocean is winning but is taking on water

2013-12-12 11:17:26 AM  
2013-12-12 11:17:56 AM  
For what may be the first time ever, a priest actually pulls out of Boy Scouts

2013-12-12 11:18:24 AM  
Woman arrested and found to have a loaded gun in her hoo hah. No word if there was any kind of discharge

2013-12-12 11:18:51 AM  
Coroner releases cause of death in lion attack. I'm not a coroner, but I'm going with lion here

2013-12-12 11:19:09 AM  
Reporters can't track down man charged with bestiality. Could be he's already on the lamb

2013-12-12 11:19:27 AM  
Expensive multifunction toilet stolen from Japanese park. Authorities have nothing to go on

2013-12-12 12:22:45 PM  
What is going on here?
2013-12-13 08:38:54 AM  

WelldeadLink: StrikitRich: I usually skip over the puns, but there are some good ones here.

You mean they're bad.

in general
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