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(Mirror.co.uk)   Man sitting on toilet has penis bitten by snake - when all he really needed was a viper   ( mirror.co.uk) divider line
    More: Scary, bathrooms, snakes, mass panic  
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6338 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Dec 2013 at 3:29 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-12-12 12:29:27 AM  
3 votes:

shanrick: Years ago, a man inherited a house from his great uncle who died in the war. The house sat on a hill outside of town in the next state and rumors were told that it was haunted. The man traveled to the town to inspect the house and found that it was a wonderful old mansion in great condition, but very, very old. So, he decided to move in and enjoy his inheritance.

A couple weeks after he moved in, late at night, the phone rang. When he answered it, a voice said, "I am the Vinder Viper. I will be there in 2 weeks!" and then it hung up before he could say anything. This really shook the man. The next day, he searched the Internet under 'snakes' for 'vinder viper' but found nothing.

A week past with no concerns and again, late one night, the phone rang. "I am the Vinder Viper. I will be there in 1 week!" and hung up. This made the man quite nervous, not knowing what a vinder viper was. He asked around the town, and no one had ever heard of any such viper.

Four days later, late at night, the phone rang. "I am the Vinder Viper. I will be there in 2 days!" The man is getting much more concerned now.

The next night, the phone rang. "I am the Vinder Viper. I will be there tomorrow!" Needless to say, the man is just plain scared now.

The next evening, the phone rang. "I am the Vinder Viper. I will be there in 1 hour!" The man tries to leave, but his car battery is dead.

Nearly an hour later, the phone rang. "I am the Vinder Viper. I will be there in 2 minutes!" The man runs around locking all the windows and doors and calls 911. The police are on their way.

Soon, there was a knock at the door. The man opened the door a crack and asked, "Is that the police?"

"No, I am the vinder viper. I come every month to vash and vipe your vindows."

i798.photobucket.comView Full Size
2013-12-12 09:38:49 AM  
2 votes:

Danger Avoid Death: All right. Who forgot to flush?

The Old Lady wanted to know why I just put a flashlight and my shotgun next to the toilet so I showed her that pic, she just went and put a box of shells next to the potpourri...
2013-12-12 12:33:45 AM  
2 votes:
And he says, "So what did the doctor say?" and I said, "He said you're going to die".
2013-12-12 12:52:26 PM  
1 vote:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
I thought it would be a story from Australia TBH
2013-12-12 12:11:04 PM  
1 vote:
Doctor says you're going to die.
2013-12-12 09:57:21 AM  
1 vote:

eclecticepicurean.comView Full Size

Now I'm hungry.
2013-12-12 09:09:50 AM  
1 vote:

Jesus licks bowling balls: TFA says it was a black snake.  How hard is it to show a picture of a black snake instead of a generic pic of some other snake.

// just saying

It wouldn't fit in frame. Too goddam beaucoup.
2013-12-12 08:09:34 AM  
1 vote:
As reported by ghanaweb.com, Mr Nkrumah's screams of 'snake, snake, snake' led to mass panic

He followed up by screaming "Badger, badger, badger, badger, badger"....
2013-12-12 04:35:09 AM  
1 vote:
1.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
2013-12-12 04:05:46 AM  
1 vote:
Obviously this isn't heaven... because Janis Joplin's not giving me a rimjob. Sorry... a viper bit my dick. I'm not myself.
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