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(   Jesus theme-park owners in trouble with the taxman. Can Jesus save them?   ( divider line
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3473 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Dec 2001 at 12:54 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

80 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-12-05 12:58:33 PM  
WWJD? Most likely tell them to get a life.
2001-12-05 12:59:32 PM  
if "Taleban" wins the horse race, have the terrorists... ah forget it..
2001-12-05 12:59:51 PM  
Submitted this because it seemed to go along with today's Jesus theme.
2001-12-05 01:01:41 PM  
``The ministry is not operated as a profit-making venture, but rather as a nonprofit evangelistic ministry for the purpose of sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ,'' said Jay Sekulow, chief counsel for the law center.

Right. I suggest, do an IRS audit of the theme park, THEN make them pay the taxes anyways.
2001-12-05 01:01:56 PM  
That'd be a shame..they have the best Holy Rollercoaster east of the Mississippi.
2001-12-05 01:05:59 PM  
stupid ass christians
religious organizations should not be exempt from taxes.
2001-12-05 01:06:12 PM  
hey, i didn't post that here! or did i? gotta hold back on the coffee
2001-12-05 01:06:12 PM  
One of the few fun-free theme parks still remaining outside of Canada is having trouble paying its bills.
2001-12-05 01:06:24 PM  
I say they get Jesus to get angry and overturn the tax collectors tables. THAT'S religious comedy.
2001-12-05 01:08:41 PM  
Save meeeeee Jebusssss! hahaha farkin retard christians.
2001-12-05 01:09:45 PM  
Frankly, the Mary-go-round is my favorite ride at the park.
2001-12-05 01:10:35 PM  
Found the website for "The Holy Land Experience" here.

Check it out, perhaps there's a PS opportunity in there.
2001-12-05 01:11:36 PM  
Orlando's Jewish community has problems with this place. Zion's Hope is a ministry committed to converting Jews to Christianity. No rollercoasters there, but they do have a song & dance number dealing with David & the Lions. Knowing the sexual preference for most dancers at theme parks in Orlando, I'm surprised they aren't boycotted by the Southern Baptists.
2001-12-05 01:15:25 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Can we go to Holy Land Experience, Dad? Pleeeeeeze

[image from too old to be available]

Sure kids!
2001-12-05 01:15:50 PM  
i just got really confused... southern california has a universal studios and an orange county. but they're nowhere near each other. now i understand. damn you, florida.
2001-12-05 01:15:51 PM  
Funny he should mention that cause I have always thought that the taxes levied on my property are inappropriate. The coondog household is most certainly a non profit organization.
2001-12-05 01:15:59 PM  
On one of their other pages:

A British vicar has banned yoga classes from his church hall because he fears they could encourage the growth of Eastern mysticism and lead his flock away from Christian teaching.

``I fully appreciate that for some people yoga is just exercise, but I am also aware that yoga is often a gateway to others things, such as Eastern mysticism,'' the Rev. Dick Farr told Reuters Wednesday.

``We are here to promote Jesus and don't want to offer a platform to anybody who is going to undermine that.''

Christians make me laugh.
2001-12-05 01:17:44 PM  
heh... i guess yoga is a "gateway" practice... leads to the harder stuff... like um, buddhism...
2001-12-05 01:17:54 PM  
Churches should be exempt from taxes. If it makes a profit, or recieves payment for a product its not non-profit and its not a church. Amusement park != church && amusment park != non-profit. Condos for old people != church && condos for old people != non-profit.
2001-12-05 01:18:08 PM  
"Jeebus Loves You!.. Everybody else thinks you're an asshole."
2001-12-05 01:18:37 PM  
I was hoping to build a waterpark based on Christian themes. A huge lake that parts its waters every 1/2 hour, then comes crashing down on pagan tourists as then make their way across the divide is one idea. Another is a giant whale that swallows kids and then shoots them out of the blowhole. I could use more ideas. Anybody?
2001-12-05 01:18:47 PM  
Sorry for the C++, I just finished coding a programing for my engr class.
2001-12-05 01:19:51 PM  
The only thing that yoga leads to is the ability to get oneself into sexual positions that many only dream of.
2001-12-05 01:23:14 PM  
Weekly World News Headline: Christians Rejoice When New Holy Land Discovered in Florida.

[image from too old to be available]
2001-12-05 01:23:43 PM  
"Inside the Wilderness Tabernacle, join other guests on a remarkable high-tech, multimedia exploration of Israel's ancient priesthood, which points to Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God. Additionally, the authentically designed Oasis Palms Cafe offers a tasty Middle-Eastern meal to add flavor to your experience."

[image from too old to be available][image from too old to be available][image from too old to be available][image from too old to be available]
2001-12-05 01:24:34 PM  
riiiiight..not out to make a profit...uh-huh...tell me another one
2001-12-05 01:25:05 PM  
Jesus can lick my wang.
2001-12-05 01:27:50 PM  
Bummer. I was looking forward to going on the "Pirates of the Palestinian" ride.
2001-12-05 01:28:02 PM  
I'm sure the Maude Flanders masks are a big seller. Man, how could you not make a profit?
2001-12-05 01:32:36 PM  
if it looks like a duck...
2001-12-05 01:32:39 PM  
I'd like a McJesus burger and a Virgin Mary margarita please.
2001-12-05 01:33:13 PM  
Did anyone else notice this? What's up with Jeebus' eye?

jesusweekly.comView Full Size
2001-12-05 01:37:17 PM  
You can chat with Jesus here

Let's all go there and have a little fun. I'm "savemejeebus"
2001-12-05 01:43:25 PM  
not for Prophet?
2001-12-05 01:45:27 PM  
so you are saying Churches = Condos for old people?

Makes sense to me.
2001-12-05 01:45:34 PM  
Dang. Chat didn't work for me. I was going to be "Cheese Us".
2001-12-05 01:47:49 PM  
Is there a 'It's a Small World ride?'

Everybody sing along....

"It's a world of famine, a world of tears..."
"It's a world of war, and a world of fears..."
"There's so much that we share,
that it's time we're aware..."
"It's a farked"
2001-12-05 01:49:20 PM  
Damn you Real remon

Now I can't get that farking song out of my head!
2001-12-05 01:55:07 PM  
Churches not for profit? Isn't the Vatican like one of the richest entities in the world?
2001-12-05 01:56:05 PM  
"Churches should be exempt from taxes. If it makes a profit, or recieves payment for a product its not non-profit and its not a church."

Well, this site might not be the most balanced place to get "the whole story." If these guys are plowing the money they make from this enterprise into things they ought not to be, then they deserve what they get.

"And God spaketh saying: Go forth and spread the word, yea verilly unto the roller coasters with thee. However, thou shalt not ride it lest thou be a cubit in height."
2001-12-05 02:00:47 PM  
"Jesus Saves"
2001-12-05 02:09:07 PM  
Jeebus Saves, cuz he don't pay taxes.
2001-12-05 02:11:40 PM  
not funny . . .
2001-12-05 02:11:57 PM  
Henchman, a cubit is only about 18". It's the length from your elbow to your fingertip.
2001-12-05 02:12:43 PM  
BB_JONES: Fear not, wasn't trying very hard.
2001-12-05 02:17:27 PM  
It's Educational. It's Inspirational. It's Theatrical. It's full of historically inaccurate white people.

Feh. I go to church and stuff, but I'd NEVER spend my hard-earned dollars there.
2001-12-05 02:21:13 PM  
Isn't this where ImDrac comes in and biatches about these people not being real Christians?
2001-12-05 02:23:19 PM  
"Henchman, a cubit is only about 18". It's the length from your elbow to your fingertip."

Aye. Thou shalt have no infants on thy rides, for such is an abomination to the Lord.

I was just tossing "cubit" around loosley. I apologize for not researching my units. I shouldn't touch topics like that with a ten-span pole.
2001-12-05 02:24:38 PM  
"It's full of historically inaccurate white people."

I know. We hear all our lives that Adam and Eve were nekkid, but when they hire people to be them at Christian theme parks, there are no boobies, just white robes.
2001-12-05 02:44:39 PM  

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