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A little advice for Dru'ush the Homosexual Rape Demon, Ronaldo's line of underwear should prevent flopping, and Anthony Bourdain is okay with a little clubbing: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/27 - 11/2
Posted by Unfreakable at 2013-11-04 11:58:10 AM (2 comments) | Permalink

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1654 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Nov 2013 at 12:00 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Only four more weeks until the preliminaries begin for Headline of the Year, everybody. Be ready.

Heads-up, too: the initial threads will begin in Totalfark. If you're not a TFer, you'll have to wait to see what they voted for before you get your chance. If you want to see the preliminary threads earlier, you need to have TF.

Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2013-10-27 to Sat 2013-11-02:

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  ♫ ♫ Bus stop, wet day, she's there, I flash and expose my penis. Bus stop, bus goes, she screams, penis grows under my overcoat ♫ ♫  

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  Dog reaching for treats on the stove is blamed for apartment fire. Worst Lab accident ever  

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  Satan: "Okay, let's get this meeting started. Ba'al the Flayer, nice work on your last job. Sch'uzdra the Mind devourer, keep up the good work. Uh, Dru'ush the homosexual rape demon? We're going to have to ask you dial it back a bit"  

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  With a failure rate of 85%, "magical thinking" is coming up the rear in birth control effectiveness. "Coming up the rear" still running in the low single-digits  

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  Ex-IAEA chief says Iran two weeks away from having weapons-grade uranium, Henriksdal chair and Linnmon/Nipen table  

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  Japan on Islam: a polite "how about NO", mixed with an undercurrent of "look, we farking INVENTED flying planes into American shiat so don't come up in here like you're so radical and edgy"  

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  The thrill is gone after BB king shoots out 60 car windows  

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  Syrian man trapped in Tom Hanks-like limbo at international airport. Of course, Hanks played character based on real-life man who was trapped in Tom Hanks-like limbo at international airport STACK OVERFLOW  

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  Man's girlfriend "believes the decisions she makes in life are always correct" and "believes she does no wrong." So he reports her to the sheriff. Wait, you CAN DO THAT?  

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  Utah woman gives birth to a 14-pound baby boy. Hospital takes bets on who will walk first  

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  Man accused of stealing horse, then spray-painting it a new color in worst GTA V cosplay ever  


Sports:

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  Paying a high price for Sandusky, Penn is  

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  Cristiano Ronaldo unveils his new line of men's underwear designed to minimize flopping  

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  Yankees sign Jeter to the DL for $12 million  


Geek:

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  Australian biologists discover new species of Gecko so remote and isolated from its relatives it's still selling mastodon insurance  

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  Scientists discover the oldest human brain ever found, but then get bored when it tells them the same stories over and over again  

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  Yellowstone Caldera just got bigger and there's no cure, says Robert Smith  


Entertainment:

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  Chris Brown arrested for assault. Police investigating how he mistook the victim for a woman  

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  Anthony Bourdain might not be a disco fan, but he's okay with a little clubbing  

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  Fifty Cent pleads no contest to vandalism, tells the judge he's a changed man  


Politics:

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  Once again, politicians, yoga is not a religion. Pilates, on the other hand, is a cult and should be treated as such  

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  ♪Obama told me, you better shop around♫  

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  Crist is coming back. Look busy  


Business:

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  U.S. automakers struggle with reliability, but so far have still managed to fend it off  

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  New $200,000 Range Rover SUV features first class style airline style seats. Difficulty: It costs $50 to put a suitcase in the back hatch  

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  Chicago gives Xerox contract to issue red light camera tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets tickets
· · ·

2 Comments     (+0 »)
 
 
2013-11-04 04:06:05 PM  
cdn.buzznet.comView Full Size
 
2013-11-04 04:33:17 PM  
Yep, got me another one.
 
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