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(Tampa Bay Online)   If you've been feeding cats to an 11'6" alligator tied up behind a Tampa apartment complex, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission would like to have a word with you   ( divider line
    More: Florida, Tampa, apartment complex, streets in Manhattan, Temple Terrace  
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6566 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Oct 2013 at 4:20 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-10-28 04:36:03 PM  
7 votes:

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: 11'6"?!?

That's one mighty tall alligator.

11' 10" with the Afro.
2013-10-28 03:46:34 PM  
6 votes:
Ways I would have preferred this story to end:

Gator "pet" owner nabs neighbor's cat, sounds dinner bell
On way to gator, cat gets out of the bag, scratches owner's eyes out
Now blind and stumbling, owner trips over gator, and now finds himself on menu
Hero cop arrives, starts shooting at gator, which
Unlike a young black male, remains unhit by a single bullet and continues dining on "pet" owner
Bullets do however, strike the tether and allow the gator to saunter back into the river, with ownermeal in mouth
The cat is hailed a heroic survivor of this sordid ordeal and ends up as a Fark Caturday thread
"Hero" cop tries to spin his tale as also wildly heroic; surveillance footage refutes this completely, ends up on Fark thread with multiple skeletons in closet
Gator surfaces and is identified.  Gator smiles, ends up on Fark Photoshop thread
Florida tag reaches critical mass, annihilates universe, including cockroaches
2nd big bang occurs
Universe tries again,
Life emerges, flourishes, except in a place that used to be Florida
2013-10-28 02:45:25 PM  
6 votes:
deskofbrian.comView Full Size

2013-10-28 04:21:50 PM  
4 votes:
Mine prefer poodles.
home.wanadoo.nlView Full Size
2013-10-28 04:23:15 PM  
3 votes:
i256.photobucket.comView Full Size

Hey!  Quit muscling in on my territory!
2013-10-28 06:27:24 PM  
2 votes:
I always wondered if we'd find a use for cats.
2013-10-28 03:54:48 PM  
2 votes:
Goes and measures alligator.

Eleven foot...*five*.

2013-10-29 12:54:24 AM  
1 vote:
Not to be the Debby Downer- but two things:
One: That gator has been acclimated to "Funny pink things on two legs" = "Meowmix Happy Fun time (Food)"
That means little Braaaaaayyyydynneee (prounounced "Mom is a colossal fad-chasing dipshiat") walking by the pond if the gator was loose could become "Happy Snowflake Fun Time (Food)"

Two: Gators are territorial and WILL go back to where you found them when they are that big.

Gators are awesome critters, that are also tasty with chile sauce and make good boot and wallet leather.  You respect them, but that waste of genetic material sealed the gator's fate the second he started feeding it.

In other words, don't freaking feed wildlife you farkwits!
2013-10-28 04:52:37 PM  
1 vote:
yourprops.comView Full Size
2013-10-28 04:39:07 PM  
1 vote:
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
An investigator.
2013-10-28 04:32:12 PM  
1 vote:

That's one mighty tall alligator.
2013-10-28 04:26:25 PM  
1 vote:
solidstatelight.comView Full Size

"This outcome displeases me greatly."

2013-10-28 04:22:27 PM  
1 vote:
So who gets the new luggage?
2013-10-28 02:50:06 PM  
1 vote:
I'm sure when caught this person will be soundly catstigatored.
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