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(Mother Nature Network)   Americans have a new fascination with the common hemorrhoid   ( mnn.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Americans, Google Trends, water balloon, Google Search  
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9211 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Oct 2013 at 6:40 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-10-15 05:43:04 AM  
There is no big mystery. We are just trying to figure out the current occupant of the oval office.
2013-10-15 07:58:05 AM  

Fooby: Americans eat too damn much processed foods and no big corporate food company gives a shiat about natural fiber content. And if the big companies do pay attention, it's almost never using normal sources, but yet more weird processed shortcuts.

What the hell is a Chicory Root? Why did I never hear about anyone using this as a food ingredient until the last five or so years when it suddenly appeared in "New! High Fiber" grain bars?

Whatever it is, it gives me horrible gas. I don't normally have gas problems but I'll put out a cubic foot for every Chicory infested "whole grain" bar I try.

Also, have you heard? The terms "whole grain" and "whole wheat" are basically meaningless. Grains can be fully separated into germ, etc, powdered, mixed back together, whatever, and the result can still be called "whole grain".

This is chicory, it grows wild in most of North America:
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size

Roast the roots and they taste like coffee.

I prefer yogurt for my probiotics. Any that says 'live culture' in the ingredients list is fine, the stuff labelled as such is just marketing malarkey.
2013-10-15 08:45:39 AM  
i1.ytimg.comView Full Size

2013-10-15 09:34:10 AM  
Seriously look up "Squatty Potty"

Stupid name but the cheap plastic stool gets your body in the right position to poop. You won't spend any time on the pot and less time, less strain means big improvement in hemorrhoid symptoms.

paleoparents.comView Full Size
2013-10-15 09:38:23 AM  

liverleef: I had several internal hemorrhoids treated a few years ago. The doctor said some were the size of golf balls. I have no clue how all of this can fit up my ass but since I cant look up inside there, I have to take his word for it. When he tried to stick the lazer thing up my asshole I almost screamed it hurt so bad. After some investigation he told me that I had an anal fissure. Apparently all the pressure of trying to get poop past enormous hemorrhoids had ripped my bunghole. So he proceeds to tell me that we might can treat this with some sort of cream instead of surgery but this fissure must heal before the lazer treatments can take place.

So i get the ass cream from the pharmacy and smear it on. I also inject it up inside my ass as I was instructed. At first it felt better because it was sorta soothing on my torn butthole. Later it hurt bad, really, really bad. Even worse was the horrible itching. I began to fear that I had a reaction to the stuff that Id been shoving up my asshole. I went back to the doctor and found out that indeed I was allergic and it was the first time they had seen this happen. I dont know how they kept from laughing but I admire them for it. Anyway, he managed to figure out an alternative med and that actually helped. After my butt healed he lazered my ass. Now im fine but I eat plenty of fruits, veggies and whole grains now. And thats all I have to say about that.

Sorest Rump?
2013-10-15 10:44:30 AM  
ll of you sufferers, heed B. Franklin's words: He who does what he should not feels what he would not.

2013-10-15 11:28:43 AM  

Fooby: What the hell is a Chicory Root?

Chicory is an evil substance that some companies have been adding to coffee for decades in order to ruin it. Probably comparable to the Leola Root that Neelix is fond of using.
2013-10-15 12:16:22 PM  
cdn.bleacherreport.netView Full Size

"Your father had bad, very bad hemorrhoids that stung him unmerciful. Ugh, they were awful!!! They were like stinky little balloons. Ugh. And I gave him some special ointment, and he hurt so bad that he had to apply it in the car with his sock. Thank you!"
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