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(Time)   Washington hasn't seen a weaker hand than John Boehner's since Bob Dole was in the Senate   ( swampland.time.com) divider line
    More: Obvious, Senate, Boehner, House Republicans, credible threat, reasonable man  
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1272 clicks; posted to Politics » on 08 Oct 2013 at 9:29 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-10-08 11:24:05 AM  
2 votes:

Noisily, the main gate lifts to flood the blackness with blinding light and reveal the silhouetted figure of Ted Cruz. He is clad in a robe similar to Reagan's and carries neither bible nor constitution. Ted strides purposefully into the hallway. Two Democrats move to block Ted's path. Ted halts.

Ted raises his hand and points at the puzzled Democrats, who immediately lower their little red books and fall back. The young Tea Party Republican lowers his hand and moves on down the hallway.

Harry Reid appears out of the gloom. He speaks to Ted as they approach each other, but Ted doesn't stop and Reid must reverse his direction and hurry alongside the young Tea Party Republican in order to carry on the conversation. Several other Democrats fall in behind them in the darkness.

I must speak with Obama.

Reid answers in Arabic, shaking his head in denial. Ted stops and stares at Reid; he raises his hand slightly.

You will take me to Obama now!

Reid turns in hypnotic response to Ted's command, and Ted follows him into the gloom.

You serve your master well.

REID responds.

And you will be rewarded.


Obama is asleep on his throne, with Lady Liberty lying in front of him. The Mainstream Media sits by Obama's tail, watching it wriggle. Lady Liberty is now dressed in the skimpy costume of a dancing girl; a chain runs from a manacle/necklace at her throat to her new master, Obama the Kenyan. Boehner stands behind Obama as Reid comes up to the gangster slug.

At last! Ted's come to rescue me.


Obama awakens with a start and Reid continues, in Arabic.

...Ted Cruz, Tea Party Republican.

OBAMA (in Arabic subtitled)
I told you not to admit him.

I must be allowed to speak.

REID (in Arabic subtitled)
He must be allowed to speak.

Obama, furious, clobbers Reid and shoves him away.

OBAMA (in Arabic subtitled)
You weak-minded fool! He's using an old Tea Party mind trick.

Ted stares hard at Obama.

You will bring a bill defunding Obamacare and bringing spending under control to me.

OBAMA (in Arabic subtitled)
Your mind powers will not work on me, boy.

Nevertheless, I'm defunding Obamacare and its unconstitutional mandate. You can either profit by this... or be destroyed! It's your choice. But I warn you not to underestimate my powers.

Obama's laugh is mean and loud. Boehner attempts to warn Ted about the pit.

Ted, you're standing on...

OBAMA (in Arabic subtitled)
There will be no bargain, young Republican. I shall enjoy watching you die.

The rest, is history.
2013-10-08 09:40:44 AM  
1 vote:
Turns out that giant sucking sound Ross Perot warned us about was the sound of John Boner's lips around Tea Bagger schlong.
2013-10-08 09:38:52 AM  
1 vote:
i.imgur.comView Full Size
2013-10-08 09:30:51 AM  
1 vote:
Bob Dole cries in shame at what the Republicans have become. You know it, Bob Dole knows it, and the American people know it.
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