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(Reuters)   Apparently feeling that the peasants might be getting a touch uppity, JP Morgan boss Jamie Dimon flew to Washington to meet with AG Holder to tell him to tell his prosecutors need to shut up, take the $11 billion, and stop pestering his company   ( reuters.com) divider line
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    More: Obvious, JPMorgan Chase & Co., Jamie Dimon, Dimon flew, energy market, New York Attorney General, United States Department of Justice, WaMu, prosecutors  
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1262 clicks; posted to Business » on 27 Sep 2013 at 1:11 PM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



33 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
Grand_Moff_Joseph [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-09-27 11:47:18 AM  
Too bad a pair of handcuffs and an orange suit were not awaiting Dimon's arrival in DC.
 
Magorn [TotalFark]
2013-09-27 11:50:48 AM  
Hmm I wonder how hard it would be for you or I to schedule a last-minute trip to DC and get facetime with the Attorney General of the United States?

Lady Justice may be blind, but she can smell money coming from a mile away
 
kidakita
2013-09-27 12:23:22 PM  
Jamie Dimon should be sent to the wall, but if anybody protests against Wall Street, they're just dirty hippies. So, fark y'all and keep whining to yourselves while you're bending over.
 
vudukungfu [TotalFark]
2013-09-27 12:48:46 PM  

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Too bad a pair of handcuffs and an orange suit were not awaiting Dimon's arrival in DC.


I would rather he wear zip ties and pink undies.
 
namatad [TotalFark]
2013-09-27 01:05:07 PM  
here's an idea -
require them to report all wrong doing
require them to name names
require prison time for the people who committed the crimes
and 12 billion 

of yes
and to admit in writing all of the wrong doing
none of that "admitted no wrong doing"

WHAT THE FARK
 
Marcus Aurelius [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-09-27 01:06:02 PM  

Magorn: Lady Justice may be blind, but she can smell money coming from a mile away


I'm totally stealing that line.
 
Comic Book Guy
2013-09-27 01:15:47 PM  
Wasn't it just 3 billion 2 days ago?
 
Debeo Summa Credo
2013-09-27 01:16:09 PM  

Magorn: Hmm I wonder how hard it would be for you or I to schedule a last-minute trip to DC and get facetime with the Attorney General of the United States?

Lady Justice may be blind, but she can smell money coming from a mile away


Yeah, it's funny how the smell of extortion money and the allure of a feather in one's political cap can tempt those in power.
 
FarkedOver
2013-09-27 01:22:51 PM  
1000manifestos.comView Full Size
 
Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo
2013-09-27 01:24:20 PM  

Debeo Summa Credo: Magorn: Hmm I wonder how hard it would be for you or I to schedule a last-minute trip to DC and get facetime with the Attorney General of the United States?

Lady Justice may be blind, but she can smell money coming from a mile away

Yeah, it's funny how the smell of extortion money and the allure of a feather in one's political cap can tempt those in power.


You're white knighting Jamie Dimon?  I'm sure he's touched by your concern.
 
wooden_badger [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-09-27 01:27:24 PM  

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Too bad a pair of handcuffs and an orange suit taser and ol' Sparky were not awaiting Dimon's arrival in DC.
 
vudukungfu [TotalFark]
2013-09-27 01:30:59 PM  
they have done more harm to the economy than a pack of terrorists ever could.
I say lynch them after a fair and very speedy trial.
 
Cinaed
2013-09-27 01:35:00 PM  
Really, can't we do both?  Can't we take that fat check 'and' prosecute JP Morgan?
 
Prophet of Loss
2013-09-27 01:46:00 PM  

kidakita: Jamie Dimon should be sent to the wall, but if anybody protests against Wall Street, they're just dirty hippies. So, fark y'all and keep whining to yourselves while you're bending over.


They whined it was "directionless" movement. And yet they themselves couldn't life a finger to change that. Instead they mocked them because they didn't want to believe it was true. Now, we know its true but its far too late.

The People get the government they deserve.
 
GleeUnit
2013-09-27 01:50:56 PM  
I think society made a mistake when they decided that public stockades were no longer a reasonable punishment for wrongdoing.
 
sweet-daddy-2
2013-09-27 02:14:37 PM  
What's the difference between a beat cop taking $100 to look the other way and Holder taking billions?
They both profit in one form or another while the victims pay the price.
Bribery is bribery, plain and simple.
 
jboy
2013-09-27 02:26:40 PM  

sweet-daddy-2: What's the difference between a beat cop taking $100 to look the other way and Holder taking billions?
They both profit in one form or another while the victims pay the price.
Bribery is bribery, plain and simple.


The beat cop is pocketing the money. Holder would be taking the money for the US government, and wouldn't profit personally. It's the equivalent of a fine, which are regularly levied. In criminal cases civil compromises are regularly obtained in non-person crimes. Civil cases settle for payouts more often than not. Whether to follow through on this particular case is a question up for debate but the general process is a long standing legitimate one.

I agree that this case, and most any investigation from the 2008 crisis and its lead-up, should not end in deals where no wrong-doing is admitted and the most culpable individuals should be prosecuted criminally separately from the corporations.
 
TheGogmagog
2013-09-27 02:31:56 PM  

Cinaed: Really, can't we do both?  Can't we take that fat check 'and' prosecute JP Morgan?


I said it yesterday, I'll believe companies are people when I see the death penalty. Seize the assets and sell off the market shares to smaller banks.  We should never have consolidated so many banks.
 
enry [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2013-09-27 02:41:38 PM  

TheGogmagog: Cinaed: Really, can't we do both?  Can't we take that fat check 'and' prosecute JP Morgan?

I said it yesterday, I'll believe companies are people when I see the death penalty. Seize the assets and sell off the market shares to smaller banks.  We should never have consolidated so many banks.


Isn't that consolidation by another means?  There's one less financial institution.

/not disagreeing, just asking
 
HotIgneous Intruder
2013-09-27 02:57:15 PM  
Capitalism Fascism, watch it work.
 
tagkc
2013-09-27 03:05:11 PM  
Ok, $15 billion and 3 dozen names for jail time, all of which have be board members or have C-something-something in their title.  CEO would be a good start.
 
Apik0r0s
2013-09-27 03:18:25 PM  
Company acts criminally, it should be nationalized, placed in trust and paying a dividend to all taxpayers.
 
namatad [TotalFark]
2013-09-27 04:07:38 PM  

TheGogmagog: Cinaed: Really, can't we do both?  Can't we take that fat check 'and' prosecute JP Morgan?

I said it yesterday, I'll believe companies are people when I see the death penalty. Seize the assets and sell off the market shares to smaller banks.  We should never have consolidated so many banks.


when they look back and write the history of 2007-2017, it will be about the great depression caused by the repeal of  Glass-Steagall.

unrepeal it EXACTLY as it was.
give the banks ONE YEAR to bein compliance or the bank is nationalized.

TADA
the nightmare goes away
 
groppet [TotalFark]
2013-09-27 04:08:55 PM  

Comic Book Guy: Wasn't it just 3 billion 2 days ago?


Intrest can be a biatch like that.
 
Nadie_AZ [TotalFark]
2013-09-27 04:40:54 PM  

vudukungfu: Grand_Moff_Joseph: Too bad a pair of handcuffs and an orange suit were not awaiting Dimon's arrival in DC.

I would rather he wear zip ties and pink undies.


Make him spend his time in tent city with sheriff joe.
 
namatad [TotalFark]
2013-09-27 04:41:28 PM  

tagkc: Ok, $15 billion and 3 dozen names for jail time, all of which have be board members or have C-something-something in their title.  CEO would be a good start.


part of me thinks that the stock holders hold some blame too ...
so take the top 5 institutional/personal owners and toss them in prison too

sucks, but you were profiting from a company which was trying to destroy america? no problem
prison time

/yes yes yes - I know. I have a 401k and I have no idea what it is invested in.
/which is WHY you toss the fund manager/ceo in prison
 
Soup4Bonnie
2013-09-27 05:10:52 PM  
Come to Seattle again, Dimon.  We didn't get to see enough of you the last time.
 
Heraclitus
2013-09-27 09:02:57 PM  
See, thats how you do it. You dont hire lawyers or talk crazy to the press.

You roll into town, throw your wad on the ground, and when those pesky Government boys get up off their knees and wipe their mouths, you shake hands and get back to the business of running this country.
 
WhyteRaven74
2013-09-27 09:05:28 PM  
I get the odd feeling Holder isn't entirely the right person to try this with.
 
Pharque-it [TotalFark]
2013-09-28 05:32:41 AM  
I sincerely hope Holden reads fark....
 
Pharque-it [TotalFark]
2013-09-28 05:33:16 AM  
HOLDER
ftfm...
 
Nemo's Brother
2013-09-28 09:14:03 AM  

jboy: sweet-daddy-2: What's the difference between a beat cop taking $100 to look the other way and Holder taking billions?
They both profit in one form or another while the victims pay the price.
Bribery is bribery, plain and simple.

The beat cop is pocketing the money. Holder would be taking the money for the US government, and wouldn't profit personally. It's the equivalent of a fine, which are regularly levied. In criminal cases civil compromises are regularly obtained in non-person crimes. Civil cases settle for payouts more often than not. Whether to follow through on this particular case is a question up for debate but the general process is a long standing legitimate one.

I agree that this case, and most any investigation from the 2008 crisis and its lead-up, should not end in deals where no wrong-doing is admitted and the most culpable individuals should be prosecuted criminally separately from the corporations.


bullshiat.  Holder will get a cushy job after his horrible reign as Attorney General. He should be in prison cell next to the JP Morgan crew. Unfortunately, neither will happen.
 
ajgeek [BareFark]
2013-09-28 09:58:25 AM  

namatad: TheGogmagog: Cinaed: Really, can't we do both?  Can't we take that fat check 'and' prosecute JP Morgan?

I said it yesterday, I'll believe companies are people when I see the death penalty. Seize the assets and sell off the market shares to smaller banks.  We should never have consolidated so many banks.

when they look back and write the history of 2007-2017, it will be about the great depression caused by the repeal of  Glass-Steagall.

unrepeal it EXACTLY as it was.
give the banks ONE YEAR to bein compliance or the bank is nationalized.

TADA
the nightmare goes away


I guess it wasn't as dead as they said it was.

/it probably wanted to go for a walk before it was whacked.
 
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